Attack on Titan: Winds of Regret (AU)

5 | A Foolish Reverie

Diane knew something was wrong right away. Eren was picking at his food, his eyes glaring intently as if he wanted the food to say something to him.

"Eren," she chided, "stop playing with your food."

The shifter gave her a weary smile, the lines below his eyes emphatically showed his tiredness. Diane had never wanted to scream more, what the fuck do I do? Frustrated, she did not know how to help him, for once, she can not throw money at the problem. Diane worried— she worried for him, he was like a brother to her, and she loved him with all her heart. A brother and a best friend. What more could she have asked for?

He was there for her, listening, supporting, consoling her. A remedy for her lonesome disputes.

Diane was always taught to never be in debt to someone. She wanted to repay him back with her kindness— either with money or her heart. But how does one give their heart to another if they built such sturdy and invulnerable walls around theirs. She needed to fix this, she had to.

For her sake.

For his sake.

She thought of a quick plan in her head, courtesy of her eavesdropping Mikasa's and Jean's conversation back at the bar.

~

It had been days after the group's meeting in Jean's cafe and it was safe to say that the mood around the group is gleemier than usual. Everyone was chattier than normal; except for her.

It was an unfamiliar sight to Mikasa, strange, rare, and yet marvelous.

As if the universe were trying to spite her, a chilling breeze passed her neck, making it itch again. However, this time, it would not catch her off guard. Mikasa quickly fumbled her backpack and pulled out a gray scarf, baltering in the harsh wind. A quick swish! and her neck was warm again. Winter had a cruel sense of humor.

"Let me help you with that," Jean gave her a monotonous smile, the same smile he gave to her everyday— the same smile she never seemed to return.

Mikasa gave him a light nod of appreciation, "that won't be necessary, I can do it."

For the first time, she was wrong.

Plop! her suitcase fell onto the white snow, her arms failed her. Her mind slowly wended to the different possibilities for her sudden weakness. She was never weak, she could give Annie a run for her money. Perhaps it was the sleepless nights she began to face. Perhaps it was the abrupt return of her headache.

But that was impossible. Her Ackerman instincts would have triggered if Eren were to be close to her, but Eren was not here, was he?

Fuck, Mikasa clutched her head, why am I thinking about my instincts? They're false, Mikasa, they're false, Mikasa.

Zeke knows more than Marley does, Eren's voice rang in her head, despite the many walls she erected to keep him locked in the small corner of the contemporary world in her head.

Shut up! You don't know me.

A worthless argument.

"Mikasa?" His breath fogged up, "are you okay?"

Armin hurriedly rushed to her side and shoved the suitcase into the trunk of a car; one of the first of Paradis.

"Mikasa?" Armin's eyes spiralled with concern, her face must be pretty transparent.

"I— I'm fine," her teeth grinded against each other.

I've always hated you, the spike of his low tone crashed into her. She stumbled.