Misbegotten

Two

*

When I was eight I was being bullied at school because my second hand uniform was too big on me. My dress hit my ankles and my supposed short sleeves went all the way down to my elbows. It got so bad that I faked sick almost everyday just to avoid going to school. My mum worked it out pretty quick though. She sat me down one afternoon after I had hid in bed all day.

"Is this making it better?" she had questioned me.

"No," I never lied to her. "But it's not making it worse."

"But it's not making it better." She was always so wise. "You need to go to school, with your head held high and ignore those bullies. Bullies bully because they want a reaction. Don't give them one and it takes all the fun out of it for them and they will stop wasting their time."

God, I miss her so much.

*

Surprisingly enough, Chelsea and her friends didn't bother me much after that. There were a few snide comments as I handed out their meals but nothing I wasn't used to. I finished up the rest of my shift in peace and helped Denise and Loren close up the shop.

"I can't believe they even bothered coming in here today," Loren said as we wiped down the tables.

"I can, but I thought they wouldn't have wasted the opportunity to make my life miserable, they kind of just did nothing."

"Well we do have amazing food here," Loren shrugged.

"Yes, your mum is an amazing cook," I confirmed. My phone beeped interrupting us. I pulled it out to see a text from dad. He never texts me.

Dad: Sofia come home asap, important family meeting.

I was tempted to text a smart-ass comment back but since it must be serious I just shot back a quick okay.

"I'm sorry, family emergency apparently, are you guys okay here?" I asked Loren.

"Yeah of course go." I hugged her before leaving and began the long walk home.

I reached home about a half an hour later and opened the front door to find my family all sitting in the lounge room. "What's up?" I asked very confused at this random family meeting.

"Sit down Sofia," dad said. I couldn't decipher whether his tone was good or bad. I hesitantly sat down on the edge of the armchair Cameron was sitting on.

"So, David – Mr Jacobsen – and I have made a business deal which will help in the expansion of my company. They have also kindly invited us to join them on their family holiday to Tahiti." Considering no one else reacted I figured I was the last to find out.

"What why?" I asked.

"David believes that to be successful in business one should have a good relationship with their business partner. He also said that he found our family very welcoming and thinks that it would be fun."

"Okay sure, when do you leave? Why aren't you all more excited?" I was still thoroughly confused.

"You are coming with us," dad explained. Then it all clicked. They weren't excited because I was coming along. I usually never went on any family holidays. Dad and Florence had a house in Noosa that they went to every year and I stayed behind. I was never not invited but I was never invited either. This was a big change.

"Why?"

"David and Amanda insisted," Florence said, an edge clearly in her voice.

"Tell them I refuse then."

"They wouldn't take no for an answer, you're coming and that's final. We leave in a week."

He stood and I took that as the end of the family meeting. We all dispersed and I followed Chelsea and Cameron up the stairs.

"I cannot believe she has to come," I heard Chelsea mutter to Cameron "We're a laughing stock when she's around."

Cameron said nothing, ignoring his sister walking into his room and closing the door behind him. Chelsea huffed at his actions walking into her own respective room, slamming her door. Instead of going into mine I knocked on Cameron's door.

"Go away Chels," he yelled. I opened it and found him lying on his bed with his laptop.

"Not Chelsea," I said. I closed the door behind me and plopped down on his bed.

"What do you want?" he asked, but a bit less moodily than before. I shrugged. I didn't really know why I came in here.

"Sofia?" he prodded.

"What? I dunno."

"Then why did you come in here?"

"I dunno," I said again.

"Sofia."

"I should leave." I said the thought suddenly occurring to me.

"Then leave, your room is that way," he said pointing out the door.

"No, that's not what I meant."

"What?" he asked clearly confused.

"I mean, I'm eighteen, I have some money I could leave, then you all could go on with your lives without me having to burden them."

"Sofia stop being ridiculous," he sighed.

"You and I both know this isn't a ridiculous notion," I said forcefully. He just sighed again and stood up.

"Then leave," he said again.

"Really?"

"What do you want me to say Sof?"

"I don't want you to say anything," I answered.

He knelt down in front of me "You leave though and you will break dad's heart."

"He'd get over it."

"No he wouldn't."
"Whatever," I said standing up. I didn't even know what I was saying anymore.

"Sofia," Cam stopped me when I reached the door. "You are not a burden," he said seriously.

"I am," I corrected him.

"Sof."

"You and I both know I am," I said again more forcefully and turned away from him heading back to my room.

I retreated into the welcoming darkness. Striping off my work clothes and pulling on a my grey lounge shorts and a old t-shirt I crawled into my bed pulling the covers up to my nose so I could still breathe a bit. I felt numb. I wondered if I would ever feel whole again.

Everyday the hole in my heart got bigger. I thought time was supposed to heal things. Maybe I didn't think about my mum as much as I used to but time definitely hadn't healed me. If anything it had broken me more. I'd never felt so far away from home even while lying in my own bed. I missed the days when it was just mum and I. Sure I never had any technical family other than her but whenever I asked about grandparents or my dad and why we spent Christmas with our friends rather than our family she would say, "Blood doesn't make a family, love does."

That had never felt so true as it did right now. With that realisation came the fact that I was almost all out of family.