Fading

Prologue - Sean

The classroom is silent as students work fervently on the test in front of them, the only noises are those of pencil on paper with the occasional erasing.

I chew on the end of my own pencil as I try and decipher the numbers in front of me. I have never been good at math, which makes me wonder how I ended up in honors. I hardly passed the last test with a seventy percent, and this test is much more confusing than the last.

I'm about to skip the current question I am trying to solve when the silence of the room is interrupted my a loud beep, followed by the voice of our attendance secretary. "Mr. Smith," the voice questions.

"Yes?" Our teacher replies, a note of irritation evident in his voice at the interruption.

"Can we please get Saun Edman to checkout?"

I look up at the sound of my name and I can feel thirty pairs of eyes turn toward me. After the words register I start to gather my supplies in my backpack. I hadn't been expecting to get checked out, did I have an appointment I had forgotten about?

As I puzzle over the reasoning for my being checked out, I can't help but feel slightly uneasy. My family isn't the type to make spontaneous decisions, our schedules are planned to the minute for each week, rarely ever changing. So what could possibly be the reasoning behind this impromptu checkout?

As I reach the main office I am greeted my sympathetic looks, confirming my suspicions that something is off. I start to get nervous, my heartbeat quickening, my palms start feeling clammy. I look around frantically and when I finally spot my mother I immediately notice her swollen eyes, red nose, and overall messy appearance am my stomach drops.

"Mom," I question carefully, a note of panic making its way into my voice.

"Let's go, your sister is waiting for us in the car," she says as she wraps her arm around my shoulders.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I ask again, my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

She walks silently for a moment, a dark look consuming her features. Just as I am about to ask her again, she responds, her voice a whisper, "it's your father, Sean."

With those four words my heart stops. Time stops. I can feel my body shutting down as her words register, my limbs becoming heavy, as if they were made of cement. I think of my father, his smile, his cheesy jokes, his caring nature. I remember his voice as he would read to me every Saturday night, I remember how he would ruffle my hair when I was down before offering to buy me ice cream, and I remember the day he enlisted into the army.

He has been in Vietnam for the past month and a half. Things were going fine when he called just the other night, what could have possibly happened between then and now? I remember the conversation we had over the phone. I told him about school, the latest project we were working on, the girl I liked, and more. Then I remember him talking to Rachel, the way her face conveyed emotions of love, a rarity since he left. Lastly, I remember his conversation with mom, how her face was blank, void of any emotion besides boredom and eventually irritation. I remember her leaving the room and hearing raised voices. I never knew what it was they were arguing about, and if Rachel knew, she never told me.

These memories along with many others run through my head as we continue walking to the car. One question continues to make its way into my thoughts though, and that is: what happened to Dad?

When we walk outside the sun takes me by surprise, causing me to blink. Once my eyes have adjusted, I look for our little red two-door Honda. Once I spot the car I notice Rachel sitting in the front seat, looking impatient, but not sad. Does that mean there is nothing wrong with Dad? Hope sparks in my chest. I pick up my pace slightly, wanting to know what the news is.