Aru Shah Oneshots!!

In the Rain

TW - self harm, depression, self-doubt, mentions of suicide 

If you are doing self-harm, self-doubt or thinking about suicide, just remember that people love you. You are loved, an amazing person and are valued! 

Aru's POV

I'm hurt

I'm broken

I have no love in my life

I'm tired

I feel like I can't do anything right

I'm a disappointment

I'm weak

I'm a liability

And I'm done

I've tried everything to make myself better. When that didn't work, I tried cutting. I cut every day. EVERY. SINGLE. GOD. DANG. DAY.

AND NOTHING WORKED!! NOTHING WORKED. IT DIDN'T MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. IT DIDN'T MAKE ME FEEL LOVED.

I keep doing it in hopes it works. I cut 3 cuts, cuts that are 5 centimetres each on both arms. Each. Day.

I do it and do it, again and again. I want to feel better. Happier. Less depressed.

I have even thought of suicide, every time I get close to doing it, thunder and lighting caresses the sky. Every time I almost do it, I back out. I try, time and time again to put myself out of my misery but it never works.

I decided to go for a walk. The Potatoes are coming over in an hour, I have an hour to cry and then go back to the fake smile I wear.

I put on that fake smile and tell mom that I'm going for a walk. She gives me a weird look while she says "Angel, it's raining, are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I reply

She nods and reminds me the Potatoes are coming. I nod and grab my keys and phone and walk out the door.

The rain immediately soaks me to the bone and I start crying. I start sobbing. Thank gods, no one can see me, it would be terrible if someone did.

I walk to the park, crying the whole way. I stand in the rain, looking at the lightning in the sky and hearing the thunder. I like to think it's Soul-Dad telling me everything is gonna be okay.

I hope he's right.

 I stare at the sky, the stormy clouds for a long time. I look to see if anyone was around me and when I see there's no one, I scream. I scream my heart out. I scream my lungs out. I scream my feelings out, even though it doesn't work.

I scream and scream and scream. Even to my ears, it sounds blood-curdling and painful and it sounds as if it's filled with anguish. Which it is.

I continue to stare at the sky. How long? I don't know. I just cry as I look at the clouds. I start walking back home, still crying. When I get home, I calm myself down and I open the door, hoping to sneak to my room and take a quick shower before the Potatoes come here.

What wishful thinking.

They're all here and staring at me.

Brynne reacts first, vaulting herself over the couch and wrapping me in a hug. Which is really out of character for her because she doesn't like physical affection.

Mini comes next, holding and blanket wrapping it around me as she hugs.

The twins follow and hug me.

Aiden adds onto the pile of hugging and so does Rudy.

So,

I guess I am loved. I guess they do love me.

"Aru, what happened?" Mini whispered as everyone pulled back and broke the hug.

I didn't feel like explaining so I said "Stuff", I know I should talk it out but I was just drained.

"Come on sis, talk to us" Brynne says

"Yeah! Come one Didi, it's alright." Sheela encourages

So I do. I do talk. I talk and talk. By the end I'm yelling but they all understand and they all know.

They know about the cutting, they know about the depression, they know about the self-doubt.

And it feels really good.

Mini grabs my arms and checks the wounds on my arms. She looks at the scars and the 3 fresh cuts. She takes out her first-aid cut and starts treating my wounds.

Brynne first whacks me on the head lightly and then kisses me on the top of my head.

Nikita replaces the wet blanket on my shoulders to a fresh dry on.

Sheela grabs me on Swedish Fish from the cupboard. 

Rudy sets up Ocean's Eight on our TV.

Aiden keeps hugging me.

It's nice to feel loved.

Maybe I was wrong. I'm not a liability. I'm not a disappointment. I'm not weak. I may be hurt and broken but I'll heal with my family beside me.

When watch Ocean's Eight in silence, but it's a comfortable silence.

A silence that says "You're our family and we love you, don't you forget it."

And I love my family.

Hope you enjoyed!