This Is Stella's Reality

March 7, 2015 PT. 2

Bucky's dreams were thick and sweet like honey. As I slept beside him, his visions seeped into mine. I saw myself, flowers in my hair, smiling, laughing, twirling in a white dress. Bucky's hands were spinning me across a dance floor as violins sang around us. It was a fantasy I knew would come true. A premonition of our lives to come.

Steve did not dream. He laid on my other side with an empty void where a dream should be. My sleeping thoughts touched his, but there was nothing but contentment and peace. There were no nightmares or visions of a hopeful future. His resting thoughts were of nothing but the present, happy and warm in the bed.

I let my wandering mind drift back to a deep slumber. It would be morning soon, and the SHIELD press conference along with it. Anxiety snuck into my thoughts, tormenting my dreams, but Bucky's sweet visions pushed them away like the first rays of daylight flooding over the dusky horizon.

JARVIS' alarm blared overhead. The three of us sat bolt upright in bed. Air had left my lungs, and I gasped when I saw the time. The press conference was in fifteen minutes. We stared at each other for a moment and scrambled out of bed.

I ran to the bathroom, brushing through my hair and brushing my teeth. The boys were throwing shirts over their heads. Steve was forced to wear Bucky's clothes. I shivered at the image. They joined me at the sink; Bucky offered Steve a spare toothbrush.

There was something so strangely domestic about brushing out teeth together that sent my heart hammering in my ears. I touched their thoughts. Bucky was thinking the same, overwhelmed with different emotions. Steve was yelling at himself for not waking up earlier. I smiled, spitting out the toothpaste and moving to get dressed.

I threw on a dress and some heels before returning to the mirror. I shouldered between the boys and painted hurried makeup on.

Someone banged on our door. "Hey, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum," it was Tony. "Conference starts in five, don't be late."

"Okay," Bucky yelled at the door. He sighed, shoving his shoes on and offering Steve a pair that may fit him. My heart was beating loudly as I inspected myself in the mirror. Not bad for ten minutes.

Bucky appeared behind me, pressing kisses along my hairline. "You look beautiful, doll." His voice was still thick with sleep.

I smiled up at him. "Ready?"

"Always," he said with a wink.

Steve stood, opening the door for us. We crept downstairs and carefully made our way to the conference room.

SHIELD agents stood around poking at tablets and directing people to seats. Maria Hill spotted us. "So glad the stars of the show could join us. Thanks for getting them, Steve."

"Yeah," Steve said absently. "Of course."

In a whirlwind, we were shoved into seats with Tony, Thor, and Bruce. My throat was dry, and I turned to Bucky who looked just as out of place. But he shot me a reassuring smile.

Steve was calm and collected, a stone wall of professionalism. Bruce looked like he would throw up at any moment. He hated being in the spotlight. Thor sat next to him, giving him encouraging smiles and head nods.

Tony was loud and boisterous, laughing and joking with the press as everything was finalized. He was an icon, and the whole room was captivated by his every word.

A SHIELD agent walked onto the stage and announced we were ready to accept questions. The sudden roar of hands and shouting deafened my ears.

Tony raised his hand with a smile, pointing to a reporter near the front. The crowd's volume died down as she stood.

"Stella," my stomach twisted into a knot. "Do you ever worry about your appearance during battle?" Not the question I was expecting.

Steve leaned into his microphone. His voice was loud and annoyed; "Sorry, do we have any questions that are not superficial?" He leaned away again with a scowl on his face.

I touched the team's thoughts. Idiots. This was a waste of time. What kind of question is that?

A man in the back was next. "Sergeant Barnes, after seventy years, was it difficult to commit to a monogamous relationship?" Bucky's thoughts sparked like flint lighting a flame.

Rage boiled through him. "No," he said simply. His teeth were clenched as he said it. My fingers reached for him under the table.

"Another question for Mr. Barnes!" A woman stood, "Do you ever fear you may revert back to the Winter Soldier?"

The silence was deafening. It felt like the world was ending. Bucky's dog tags seared my skin, and air burned in my lungs.

Tony and Thor standing at the table, saying something to the reporters. I didn't hear them. All I heard was the agony of Bucky's thoughts.

"Every moment of my life," he said suddenly.

It was silent again. His eyes wavered with grief threatening to spill out. "Every moment of my fucking life," he said again. He stood and left the conference room stage.

My ears were ringing and cameras were flashing. My feet moved on their own, standing and following Bucky through double doors.

His steps were quick. I jogged to catch up to him, trailing behind him as he continued towards the training room.

The echo of our feet across the hard floors matched the beating of my heart as it slammed into the walls of my ribs. With a yell, Bucky picked up a stool and threw it at the wall. My magic caught it before it could crash against anything.

Bucky turned towards me with a fury in his eyes I had never seen. I cowered before him. "Bucky?" My voice was soft as rose petals.

His fists tightened. "Why would they ask that?" There was hurt in his voice. Trauma and agony ripped at his vocal chords.

I stepped towards him, offering the safety of my arms. He fell into me, and the anger melted into grief. I touched his thoughts as he ran through the memories he had tried so often to forget.

My fingers brushed through his hair. He sobbed, loud and violently against me, and we sunk to the floor. I thought my heart would shatter into a billion pieces. My skin was slick with his tears, and I was hot with rage.

Hydra must burn. Now.

Bucky coughed as tears choked his throat. "I need to get my book," he said with strangled determination.

Steve's words from months ago echoed in my head. Don't tell him what we plan to do. He'll try to stop us.

Maybe then, but not now.

Carefully, I lifted his face to lock our eyes together. My thumb wiped his cheeks. We stared for a moment. "Steve is tracking down your book right now." My voice was a whisper in the silent training room.

Bucky did not respond. He held my eyes, blinking through his tears. "I want to go with you."

My blood was cold. "What?"

"Don't play stupid, doll. I know you and Steve have been looking for it. I know you want to go after it." He let go of a breath. "I won't let you leave without me."

I stroked my fingers through his beard. "Of course, my love." I pressed a kiss to his lips. We would go and burn Hydra to the ground together.

Together.