Moving Objects

Chapter 25

So much for a better Christmas than last year.

I looked at his back while he slept, his breathing slow and even. I didn't want to leave because it felt like if I left it would be shutting the door on us completely, but he needed space and time to heal. So, if being apart made him heal, that's what I had to do. Even if it meant that I wasn't a part of his life anymore.

Despite knowing what I would see, I assessed his energy while he slept. There was a lot of guilt lingering, but sadness and regret had slipped in, too. I sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to touch him, watching his energy change at my touch. It was nice to see that the subconscious part of him still wanted me. I gently pulled my pillow off the bed and crept back out to the living room, laying down on the couch.

It wasn't comfortable but it had to do, I didn't want to invade his space. I curled up in a ball and let the few tears I held back fall. I pressed my fist to my mouth to keep the sounds inside as I let my own pain take hold.

Love fades, ours will too.

The sound of his voice echoed through my mind and I squeezed my eyes shut, gritting my teeth together as hurt flooded my body. I was stronger than this, better than this. I was Rose Hathaway; I was better than this. I tucked the blanket from the back of the couch around me tightly, trying to create my own little hug to get me through the night. It took a while, but I finally cried myself to sleep.

I was comfortable when I woke up. I rolled and was surprised to find that I didn't roll off the couch. I opened my eyes to find that I was in fact in bed. I furrowed my brows and sat up, looking around. Everything was exactly the same except that Dimitri's duffle bag was gone from beside the dresser, and the book he was reading was missing from the nightstand.

It was like another jab to my heart, but I needed to keep my head held high. I wouldn't let him, or anyone, know how hurt I was because it wouldn't help the matter. I got out of bed and slowly made my way out, hoping to eat something and go to the gym to beat out some of my lingering frustration. I walked out and made my way blindly to the kitchen, turning on the coffee pot and braced my hands against the counter. I dipped my head down, breathing deeply and shakily.

It felt like everything I've fought for in the last few weeks was gone. But I could do this.

I listened to the coffee pour into the pot as my breathing started to pick up and I fought with myself to keep it composed. I stared at the dark liquid that would get me through my day when a hand slid up my spine. I jumped and spun around, coming face to face with Dimitri. He looked tired as his eyes bore into mine. I swallowed the lump in my throat before speaking.

"Hi," I said quietly, averting my eyes from him. "I'm surprised you're still here," I whispered, biting the inside of my lip. Dimitri cupped my cheek and turned my head to look at him.

I finally looked at him and pursed my lips, trying to keep my composure. "I just figured after last night, and then when I woke up your bag was gone...I thought you had left while I was sleeping. Less confrontation," I said. I could feel my cheeks heat as I spoke, but it was better than tears. Dimitri cupped my other cheek and stepped towards me, pressing me gently against the counter. The movement confused me, but Dimitri stroked his thumb under my eye, collecting a tear that slipped loose. I wanted to turn away from him, but he wouldn't let me, so I looked at his chest instead.

"I'm not leaving," he whispered, stroking my face again. I gritted my teeth together and he moved my head up, forcing me to look at him again.

"I'm not leaving you," Dimitri said firmly, resting his forehead against mine, "Unless you want me to." I blinked a few times as he dipped his head down, his lips pressing against mine. I froze for a moment, surprised that he kissed me, and I kissed him back. It was small, but it was firm. Dimitri pulled away before pecking my lips again, his breath floating over my lips.