You helped :) - DISCONTINUED

Part Eighteen

Armin's POV

"Can I please sleep on the couch?" I ask.

"No no! You're the guest just sleep on my bed." Hanji says.

"But I wanna sleep on the couch."

"Armin, like I said you're the guest. You shouldn't have to sleep on the couch."

"But I want too! Please?"

"Hanji, he's not gonna stop asking. Just give him what he wants." Levi interjects with a sigh.

I nod my head aggressively to show that I agree with him.

"Fine, you can sleep on the couch."

"Yes! Thank you."

They yawn and stretch their body before saying goodnight.

"Goodnight." I say in return.

I turn around towards Levi and notice him at the door.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"I'm just checking if the door is locked. Anyways, don't look out the curtains and don't stay up late watching SpongeBob. We still have school tomorrow."

"I promise I won't. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

After we wish each other a goodnight, Levi heads to his room and I head over to the couch. I'm totally not gonna watch this cartoon for the whole night.

I can't. It's a school night. That would be terrible. I can watch like 3 episodes before I go to bed. That's not a lot, that's fine for tonight, right?

—————Time Skip—————

It wasn't fine for tonight. I- *sighs* It's five in the morning. I'm so disappointed in myself. I said three but it kept getting worse and worse.

I was like, one more. It's just one.

I would look at my pointer finger and say, "One."

"Uno, No more than that." Nope, all of that was a lie. Now I'm gonna be sleepy for all of today at school.

Was it worth it? Well, that's what I'm about to find out.

Maybe I can sneak a little bit of sleep in. That won't hurt, not at all.

Finally, I decided to take my own advice for once and close my eyes. I haven't slept all night, I can sleep until someone wakes me up. It's fine.

But obviously my mind wanted to think at a time like this. Because of that, my eyes shot open and I sat up on the couch.

I don't have any clothes. I don't have anything to change into. This is bad. What if someone from my school saw me on the streets the other day wearing these clothes. I can't go to school with the same thing on. There's no way I could allow that.

School starts in a little over two hours. I can probably get to the house and get ready in that time span. Totally.

With that thought, I head to the front door and put on my shoes. Once I have them on, I unlock the door before I head out. Making sure that I lock the bottom lock as well.

After that, I start on my journey back to the house. During my walk there, my mind goes through possible scenarios that could occur when I get there. Most of them are bad and involve my parents seeing me walk through the door. Some include my sister finding me and being the snitch she is. None of them come up to be where I don't have an encounter with any of my family members at all.

I wish I did have thoughts like that. Maybe then I wouldn't be so scared to walk into a place that I should feel safe. A place that I feel loved and somewhat okay. Whenever I'm in there I feel nervous and scared of whoever acknowledges my existence. I don't think I should feel that way in a place that I should call home.

All I know is, when my parents do see me they'll be furious.

You see, I kinda lied to Levi last night. I never asked my parents to stay over but I knew if I did they would immediately say no. It is understandable since it is a school night but I really wanted to watch cartoons.

Come to think of it. All of this is probably my fault. Maybe my parents are just trying to make me better? Maybe I'm trying too hard to accept myself when what I'm trying to accept is bad? That could be, right? My father probably wants me to be a manly man to build my confidence?

My mother probably wanted me to be a girl so I could have grown to be a strong and independent woman. Right?

Maybe me trying to accept myself for who I have grown to be isn't okay. Maybe I'm just hurting myself more and my parents are trying to help me.

Or it's just pure hatred towards me because of what I can't change.

I should stop thinking about this.

I just hope they went to work early. Then, I could just wait out the yelling and the punishment. I know I deserve it too, I didn't NEED to watch cartoons. I only wanted too, and that was selfish.

Anyways, I'm on the doorstep now. That's great.

I do my usual routine of checking he living room and kitchen before I fully enter the house. Surprisingly, my parents aren't in either of those places.

I walk in fully and search for a note. It would only be confirmation that they're not here at all.

After looking around briefly, I find that there isn't a note. I could probably sneak upstairs to shower and get clothes. Hopefully, they'll be on their way to work before I leave my room.

—————
I hope you enjoyed! I'm so glad that people like this story enough to return or even read a little. I really appreciate that. I just wanted to let everyone know.

LOVES YOUS! 🤍