Starting Over

Chloe's Back to Bad Habits

"For the nightmares to stop, you'll have to unpack that time during your childhood. If you want someone to listen, I'm here for you. And do more art, less working."

I glanced over at him, blushing slightly at him continuing to ramble about me. But warm fuzzies bounced in my chest because he genuinely wanted to help. With a smile, I thanked him, and then he indulged me in small talk about his weekend training.

x-x-x-x

During the subway ride to work, my body relaxed as I replayed the conversation with Toby in my mind. Somehow he'd gotten me to reveal a lot more than I'd allowed myself with anyone else, probably ever. I hadn't even opened up to this extreme within myself, and I was uncertain how I felt about the psychiatrist's abilities.

Except curious.

How would Toby be as a spanker? The question lingered as I envisioned a life where he convinced me to be totally authentic with him as he asked the questions most people avoided. Those penetrating eyes, reading into every word and micro-expression. How long would it take him to discover my true identity?

I was so distracted by my fantasies that I missed my train stop and was ten minutes late to work. Fortunately, when I strolled into Gabe's office, he was caught up in an argument with Violet and didn't notice the time.

"How the fuck else do you expect me to solve it? Tell him, Clo."

"Tell him what?" I asked, dropping my boss's important mail on his desk.

"That I need to go to Washington to interview this potential witness. It's the only way to figure out my case."

Gabe shook his head. "Why don't you make a phone call like a normal person?"

"That won't work, her calls are monitored, she won't give up any intel. C'mon, Mr. Specter." She stuck out her hand with a laugh. "Let's get that company card, I'll extract the info, then case closed."

"You're crazy if you think I'd let you have a company card after seeing your debt."

"Do you have a better idea? Traveler's checks? Prepaid giftcard?" Violet mentioned some other ideas while Gabe scanned me up and down.

"I'll give you permission to go under two conditions." He looked back at Violet and nodded towards me. "Take her with you, and you both agree that if you spend over budget, you'll each earn a stroke with the cane for every penny. In front of the others at our next meeting."

"Even better," she said, winking at me. "You're cool with that, right Clo?"

Now Gabe looked at me, too, and I nodded with fake confidence. Getting caned by my boss sounded like the scariest, most awkward situation ever! And what would Izaak (and Toby?!) say?

"I'm serious. Not a cent over budget or your ass will pay." His scowl made my tummy flip flop.

"Yes, Sir. Jeez, you don't gotta be such a hardass."

As Gabe gave me assignments for the day, I noticed a tickle of excitement in my chest. Maybe our trip will coincide with Toby's!

Sleepiness mixed with fantasies about touring DC with my running buddy had me fucking up my work. Fortunately, Gabe was mostly in meetings, so didn't yell at me for it (yet), and Violet offered to do the trip planning, sensing that I wouldn't do it correctly (she was probably right).

"Yo, the flight is early on Monday. You should come crash with me and Molly this weekend."

I looked up from my computer (where I'd been checking out sights in DC, not actually working) to see Violet with her messenger bag over her shoulder, ready to leave. My heart raced every time I saw her, wondering how close she was to making the connection with Winters. "Sure."