Imagination's Saving Grace

Push Them Faster

Those story book characters slowly altered my view into my little piece of the world. They taught me that not everyone could be trusted. That we, as children, did not understand the extent of what the world held and what we would slowly discover with our naïve minds. We may not have access to the News Stations, nor did we even pay attention when our parents were watching it or talking to another adult about what they saw or read in the newspaper that day. But sometimes something caught our attention, and the game of Telephone began between the children around the neighborhood. This line of communication and news if you think about it, is not much different than what the real news shares with us in today's world. It wasn't all adult news that we shared though, we also spread those rumors about what a coodie filled boy was planning on doing at a certain school dance, held in an overcrowded, open walled gymnasium, surrounded by our socializing parents and other adults looking down upon us, as we hung out with our friends (girls with girls and boys with boys of course) and they with theirs.

Cut to the last days of 4th grade in my hometown, before I knew I was just a little weirder than the other kids around me. The school dance, unbeknownst to me, a year before I was meant to leave behind the only world I knew. I was dancing with my girlfriends, at that age the boys didn't dance with the girls, because we all had cooties. The music was playing, and it was getting warm, from what I could recall, so I went to the water fountain and that was when it happened and trust me when I say I never saw this coming. I, Grace Rose, received my VERY FIRST kiss. Yes, that is right, my first kiss in the corner of the gym during the dance near the water fountain. Which I accepted at the time of giving, so stunned about what had just happened I couldn't think of a different alternative to said situation, because after that quick peck and a smile he ran back toward his friends as they giggled to each other. I didn't say anything to the girls, I must not have processed fully what happened. But then a few days down the road, not far into summer break. I wrote him a note and within this note I said something along the lines of "You BETTER not tell anyone what we did, or I will never speak to you again! (I may have threatened to punch him, but I can't be sure.)

Why might you ask? Well, to tell you the truth. I couldn't tell you. This is just how my mind processes major events in my life. Between what my fellow classmates would have said, and the ever-growing shadows of those story book characters I kept letting loose each night when I woke once again to darkness. Then there was her, the girl from under the streetlights. The one that kept trying to pull me in or pull herself out, I still am not sure which, standing in my room, at my window, looking out into the darkness. I found the dream travelling was her doing, each time she touched me I was yanked into a nightmare. I thought they would stop once she escaped. One night when I woke, not from a fright but because I felt compelled to do so, I got out of my bed and walked toward the girl that never looked away from the window.

"Excuse me, but what is your name?" She didn't answer or turn around. So, I did what any girl in my shoes would do, normally, I tapped her on her shoulder, as soon as my hand touched her body, she turned and as my eyes met the black voids within hers, I lost control of my mind. Pictures started flashing like a slid show, placing me with in them. They were going so fast I couldn't make any sense of them, then I jumped. The images stopped, my mind was once again mine and she was gone.

I started pushing away those around me. See, with negative thoughts comes negative actions, which builds and builds as it brings forth what slowly grows within you, anger. I suppose the news that I learned, and experienced at this point, about having to move away didn't help much. I was caught up within this girl's story, she was telling me something, I just hadn't figured it out. With each encounter I grew more frustrated. I just wanted her to tell me with words why she chose me to haunt. But now I was running out of time, my family and I were moving and with that this girl's story disappears with her.

I just couldn't process everything that was happening, and knowing my old friends were going to live their lives with the same friends WE grew-up with, as I was left to find new ones. Well let's just say I learned fairly quickly that I was great at pushing people away. Which in turn brought forth a new character to take their place. This is when the imaginary friends started showing up. Some meant to help me, and others not so much.