A Family Affair

thirty four // a gift given unknown

"Nah, I am." He paused thinking "I just meant that if we do this, I wanna really do this." I was still confused but I kind of get it, just not completely "Baby what are you saying?" I let out a tiny laugh, placing the damp towel onto the balcony

"I want to marry you" He blurted. I laughed really loudly, holding onto my stomach, I know he's serious "I can't even be serious without you making fun of me" Even my reaction caused him to laugh a little bit

I walked toward him, my hands reaching for his face and kissed me while he kissed back "I know you're serious"

"Then why'd you laugh" His face, like a baby, pouting. "I thought about it too" His eyes no longer showing sadness and embarrassment, it was something else I wan't quite too familiar with "Don't go having any ideas. Baby I love you and I know you love me too"

"There's a but?" He rolled his eyes funnily "Save up your money for something far more important, if it's us we both want, we're gonna have to have a very long talk about how we're going to make it all work"

"I'm very convincing so" He shrugged "I know, now don't go burning this house with all your kisses"

I sat, watched him cook and would occasionally ask if he needed help even though I know he'll refuse to every time. I thought and thought to myself, how would we make us work if we're on two completely opposite sides of the world? Marriage isn't the answer, love works for almost everything and I want to believe in that but this, it's all too much and too hard but I know I want to be with him. If he's all in, then I am too and if trust is an issue we come across, I hope it never will be, then there is a fine line that we need to outgrow. Fuck.

"Hey mom!" I ran to a nearby wall, she facetimes me at random times of the day, forgetting that there is in fact a very huge time difference "Thank God you're awake!" My eyes wandering to the nearest clock and computing it as fast as I can "Mom it's 5pm here"

"Oh" she counted "So like 7 hours ahead?" I nodded, it never gets old

"I wish you could be here with us tomorrow! We miss you so much, your dad's getting lonely that he has no one to argue with over which team will win or lose" She stated, I know what she's doing. She's trying to make me feel bad and try to buy a last minute flight. The mind of Khloe Kardashian, I'm all too aware of but lucky for her I'm more than just two steps ahead of her. I'm running the game

"You look frantic" She did her deep laugh "Did you just have sex?"

I laughed even louder "I don't want to talk about that, mom! Oh- ugh!" I fake gagged, everything in our family, we talk about very openly and this is the one thing I don't like talking about because it's private and totally no one's business whatsoever! She laughed even harder "I'm just going to ignore that just actually happened, but how can I be of your service?" My eyes closed, as I tried to erase that memory in my head, and of course I cannot.

"I can't convince you to fly out even just for one day?"

"I'm sorry mommy, I'll make it up to you, I promise! It'll be the best one yet. But mom I have to go now" I smiled onto the camera "So you can finish-"

"AH! BYE!" I pressed the red button, Devin finally being able to laugh loudly "Yeah, laugh it up buddy"

The rest of the day, we stayed in and ordered take out from Chic Fil A. Instead of getting those small packets of sauce, Devin had this brilliant idea of getting the jug, and of course he told me it won't even be that big. It came, it's bigger than an iPhone max. I couldn't be mad at him even if I tried, because I over- sauce my food all the time.

Every time I look at him, I feel safe, I don't even know if you can ever feel safe in life, but with him. I do. It's a different type of feeling, but it's a great one.