Short Stories

Unloved

I was tired of it all. People doubting me and my love for them. When anything bad happened, they blamed me. I felt like I was a problem from birth. I wanted to end it all. I wanted to have a life better than this although I felt like I deserved this life. But what did I do to deserve it? Nothing. But you don't have to do anything to deserve a life full of horror, agony,  pain, and suffering.

I couldn't take all this pain. I felt so depressed, so unloved. In other words...I felt like a failure to everyone. I felt like to everyone, I was just an annoying little brat. I felt like I was everyone's little puppet to be used whenever it was needed.

I wanted these feelings to stop. Currently, I was home alone in my room looking up at the ceiling with an emotionless expression. I couldn't feel any emotion. I couldn't feel anything.
If someone were to hit me with a piece of iron, I think I wouldn't even feel it. I was lost in my thoughts and my mind.

My parents treated me like shit. My father was abusive and would take any opportunity to beat the crap out of me. My mother did the same. When they finished abusing me they'd say, "It's for your good". I felt like to just kill them both, but I always feared them. Imagine fearing your parents who brought you into this world.

Parents are supposed to nurture and love us. To care for us and protect us from this cruel world. To tell us that everything will be fine and ok. But no. Not mine. They did the total opposite. They didn't even cook for me. When I tried to eat anything, they'd scream at me and tell me that I'm fat and ugly and that I wasn't even supposed to eat anything.

But you know what's the worst thing about this? I love them. I freaking still love them. After all the abuse and all the mean things they said to me, I loved them thinking that they would change.
I always thought they would change. But with every passing day, they got even worse than the day before. But still, I had faith. I still believed that they would change.

But today I planned to end it all. So I got up off my bed, took my compass out of my geometry set and went to the bathroom, and locked the door. I started digging into my skin with the compass. It felt so good to me. The pain felt good when it should hurt like a bitch. I continued doing these marks on my hand for one and a half hours. I came out of the bathroom and walked into the kitchen. They still weren't at home. My eyes automatically went to the knife in the dishwasher.

I eyed it for a few minutes and started walking towards it. I reached it, grabbed it, and ran out of the kitchen and into the bathroom. The last thing I said was "I love you, Mom and Dad". After that, I slit my throat with the knife and fell to the ground, and bleed to my death.

I know they say when you kill yourself, you won't end up in a good place in your afterlife, but any place would be better than me being with my abusive parents. I loved them, but the abuse, the pain, the suffering, it was all too much to take.

I loved them so I gave them relief from me. They won't ever have to see me again in their life.