Sugar High

Motherfuckin, terror inducing, word lo...

As I take a bite of the toast Mila made me for breakfast I chuckle and then shake my head at how quickly my life has changed.

There was a time, not too long ago that breakfast consisted of nothing more than a couple of cups of coffee, the only time it consisted of food was when the food was of the human variety.

"What's so funny?"  She asks and I look at her pouring our coffees instead of ordering them in and my chest tightens around my heart. 

What the fuck is this feeling?

 Is it an oncoming heart attack? Am I working and fucking too hard or is it what happens when I 'like' you turns into that other motherfucking terror inducing word 'lo...' you know what I mean.

"I just didn't realise 'making breakfast' was something people still did" she scrunches her face up at me and she looks like the cutest little sultana and I want to kiss her face all over and then puke at how disgustingly soft she's making me

"You have more money that sense do you know that?" She puts the coffee down in front of me and picking it up and feeling the solid mug in my hands transports me back to a time I try my best to forget.

10 years old, sitting at the kitchen table with my dad, when he takes a bite I take a bite, when he takes a sip of his coffee in a mug, I take a sip of my milk in a mug, when he turns the page of his newspaper I turn the page of my comic.

I adored that man and every second we spent together, little did I know just 1 hour later he would be dead and I would be 'the man' of the Michaels family

"Callan ?" Mila stands in front of me, her hand tangled in my hair "Are you okay?, you went somewhere for a moment"

"Just the mug...i haven't held one in a really long time"

"A mug?" Her face twists in confusion and I don't really feel like spoiling our morning by baring the ugliness of my soul so I do what I always do, turn myself into an asshole and I make a joke at her expense

"Its just such a poor man thing to drink from, don't you think?" she snatches it from my hands and slams it down on to the counter and I feel bad for upsetting her but it saved me from a conversation I'm not ready to have so I forge on with the apology "Baby I'm sorry" I stand up from my chair and walk so I'm stood behind her and she's trapped between me and the work counter

"You're an asshole do you know that?" I rest my hands on the counter, caging her in and pull back her hair to reveal her neck to me

"I know I am. I say the wrong things, do the wrong things, but I'm hot though right?" I kiss down her neck and smile when I see goosebumps rising "I'm cute, have great hair and eyes my body's to die for and my dick...well he's multi talented" I kiss her neck some more and when she involuntarily moans I take her by the shoulder turn her to face me and then lift her so she's sitting up on the counter top

"I have to get to work soon" I kiss her as though my life depends on it, for how long I can't be sure but eventually we are forehead to forehead, both a gasping mess

"I have a work dinner tonight. Come with me" she pulls her head away and frowns "Not like before, not as just my date, but as my girlfriend, I want my colleagues to meet you as that" she smiles and kisses my nose and my chest squeezes again

"I can't Cal, I'm working at the diner until 11"

For fuckin fucks sake!!!

"I'm sorry" she starts running her nail up and down my naked chest knowing fine well I'm a sucker for that shit  but I'm more pissed off right now than I am turned on

"Phone in sick"

"I can't, they are relying on me"

"Mila it's a diner, you skip one shift no ones gonna die"

"I don't like letting people down"

"Everyone except me, right?" I use a shoulder to push away from her and head to her room to grab my stuff, I might be acting like a child but I get the feeling I'm the only one putting in the effort here and that's about to fuckin change

*******

Walking up the steps towards the ballroom in which Callans work dinner is being held, I can't contain the butterflies that are dancing in my stomach and fluttering around my chest.

Winnie had been so sick of my moping during my shift at the diner she had all but thrown me out

'Go get tarted up and show that boy and his fancyass workmates what you got' she had finally rasped as I grinned and then all but ran home to find the dress she knew would make Cal forget he was ever mad at her.

Standing at the top of the steps in my floor length red silk dress with a deep V cut chest and her hair in a high ponytail she looked like a movie star and felt like one too. All eyes are on me as I move amongst the middle aged men and their overdone wives, my heart hammering in my chest, waiting for that moment when I would see Callan and his eyes would drink me in the way they always did, as though I was the most beautiful creature in the entire universe.

I have had boyfriends before of course I had, probably more than I should have I'm being honest but no one has ever looked at me the way Cal does, as though i'm magic.

Pushing my way to the bar I'm just about to order a drink to calm my nerves when I spot the familiar wide back, the familiar dark curls that were now so much shorter than when they had been when we first met, he is sat at the bar and as I take a step towards him, a smile on my lips as I prepare to surprise him I all of a sudden stop dead, my heart stuttering to a stop and my whole world begins to spin wildly around me because true enough there was Callan, my boyfriend but he is sat at the bar sharing a drink and easy laughter with another girl. A beautiful girl, all red lips and exposed chest and her hand is resting easily on his thigh and he is just sitting there, seemingly enjoying the company and the contact and I feel my heart slowly cracking in two.