Sugar High

This Guy Is Not The Guy For Me

Oh my God! I haven't laughed so much in forever!

Suddenly all the drama with Taylor and my dad and what's happening or not happening with Cal fades away into nothing and there's just me, Robin, laugher and alcohol and it feels good, so, so good I actually feel like me again. Free of all the drama that's plagued me recently.

"So what's a girl like you doing without plans on a Friday night?"

"Well I have best friend drama and guy drama both at once so...yay!"

"What did the best friend do?"

"Oh she slept with my dad" Robin's chin almost hits the deck before raucous laughter breaks out. I don't know why they are laughing and I don't know why I am laughing along with them but it feels right, it feels good, so I just go with it.

"That's a classic. It's a storyline from one of those daytime soaps that middle aged white people are obsessed by. OMG! Your life is an episode of Dallas, minus the shoulder pads of course, If you had worn the shoulder pads I would have had to dump your ass on sight" again we dissolve into fits of giggles and people sitting at tables close to us look and 'tut' loudly. Their eyes lingering longer on Robin than on me their ignorance and disapproval evident

"So what's the Callan drama?"

"Well the drama is really just that he's him" we attempt to suppress our laughter but eventually it bursts through our lips causing us once again to be on the receiving end of discerning stares "What's he like Robin, I mean really, is he as much of an asshole as he makes out?" I hope not, I really hope not, I hope it's just a show he puts on as some form of protection or something and when Robin puts a finger to their lips and pauses to think it gives me some hope

" Callan is an amazing employer, he gives me way more than any anyone else ever would that's money, opportunity, if anyone would even employ me at all it would be for half of what Cal gives me"

"Fuck them" I say knowing they are referring to the way they look, the way they identify.

"And he's an amazing son. His dad died when he was 15 and he's pretty much supported his mom and his sister single handedly ever since"

"Wow" that surprises me and then suddenly I'm flooded with sympathy for teenage Callan, losing his father so young and then the responsibility that came after

"I guess what I'm saying is either work for him, be related to him just don't try to date him" Robin begins laughing again only this time they are laughing on their own "Sorry"

"It's OK, I uh...I know what he is and what he isn't and he isn't exactly boyfriend material is he?"

"But you still want that from him?"

"I don't know what I want to be honest" the mood at the table plummets as I start seriously considering for the first time what it is that I want from Cal and what it is that I think he can give to me

"If it helps I have never seen him as screwed up over a girl, the way he is with you" I laugh a little but then wonder if that's how I want to start a relationship with a guy, with them 'screwed up' over me. 

I feel my phone vibrate against the table and look down to see its Callan calling, I decline the call and sip my champagne, my brain in full over thinking mode now.

"Speak of the devil!" Robin looks down at their phone and I see it's Callan facetiming "Come in, get in the screen, let's mess with him a little, it's my favourite thing to do" I move closer to Robin but the idea of messing with Cal is no longer as appealing as it would have been 10 minutes ago

"Evening Mr. Michaels " Robin grins and I see Cals eyes shrink to tiny slits as he makes eye contact with me over the screen.

Did I interrupt something?" He asks, his voice cold, his tone clipped

"Dinner and drinks darling" giggles Robin and I realise they might have had a little too much to drink

"Together?" I nod and Cal shakes his head in disappointment and I suddenly feel guilty

"It's just a friendly date" I assure him but his eyes don't meet mine they just flick to Robin and the coldness speaks volume

"My office Monday morning" he instructs his P.A but his tone just lit a fire in my guts

"I hope you were talking to me there" I purr and he looks to me briefly

"I'd get your girlfriend under control Robin, it looks like she's making moves on your boss"

"I'll be making moves under their boss in about an hour if you aren't busy, you could come over?"

"One hour I'll be there. Sorry Robin, I think you just got dumped"

"Well then I'm off to cry into my margarita. See you Monday morning Mr. Michaels"

"See you later Mila" his voice is so soft and silky I can't help but smile like an idiot

"See you later Mr. Michaels" and then Robin hangs up and declares they feel ill after seeing Callan so 'soft' "I like him" I say quietly, as though I'm just admitting it to myself and maybe it is the first time. He's everything I shouldn't want in a man, he's alpha, he's toxic but he's sweet and protective and he makes me happy and horny every time he looks at me

"If you keep softening him like this maybe we won't have to keep calling on Frankie for help" Robin giggles at their own joke and then looks at me in shock as though they just said the wrong thing to the wrong person and I suddenly regret make my admission about Shawn

"Who's Frankie?"

God Mila, don't ask that, you don't want to know the answer to this, say something, stop Robin from answering...

"No one" their face tells me this is definitely someone

"Robin..."

"She's just..."

"She?!" okay I'm aware I sound like a jealous girlfriend right now but I just admitted to liking this guy and in the next breath another girl is mentioned, I'm allowed to freak out right? Because I think I am actually freaking out

"Mila it doesn't matter, ignore the margaritas that seem to be talking for me right now" they unlock and then lock their phone a couple of times and their nervousness is making me more nervous

"Who is Frankie Robin? Either you tell me or I will ask Callan when he comes over later"

"He will kill me for telling you"

"No he won't, he loves you, he needs you"

"Frankie is a reporter we use to make 'uncomfortable' headlines disappear"

"Okay so why were you so nervous to tell me that? I get Callan's a personality that people are interested in, I also get that he doesn't always know how to control himself or his mouth but there's more to it, why would you be nervous to tell me that?"

Robin downs the rest of the margarita and sits staring at their beautifully manicured nails

"Oh there's more to it, of course there's more to it" I down the rest of my champagne and sit and wait for it

"Frankie makes the headlines disappear on one understanding"

Fuck! This guy is an actual whore

"Shawn fucks her?"

"Well dinner first but yeah, a happy ending is required"

And once again I'm left disappointed with the man my mind seems to have an obsession with

This guy is just not the guy for me, but then why do I want him so damn much?