Battle of intentions

4. Absolutely stunning

"Nora, have you taken care of any white children before?" Mr Philips asked as I sat opposite Lord Hugh feeding Lewis who seemed very eager.

Staring up, I realised all their eyes were on me. "Yes, sir. I used to care for Master's grandchild Christian while his mother worked at the plantation."

"That makes no sense. Masters grandchild, mother working at the plantation..." Mrs Philips replied.

"Uh... it's a very long story ma'am."

"We're all ears." Mr Philips added. I felt an uneasy feeling as they all looked at me expectedly. Lord Hugh's eye on me made me even more nervous. I could not get over what happened earlier.

"Master William fathered a child with one of the slaves. He then left, Master Joshua took care of the child and put me in to care for Christian. I did not mind at all because even before Master Joshua had assigned me, I always helped out with caring for Christian."

"Why did he leave?" Lord Hugh finally spoke. I felt uncomfortable, every time he looked at me. A flashback of that shameful moment reminded.

"He did not want to father a mulatto, isn't that obvious?" Mr Philips chuckled. I only smiled not knowing how else to respond.

"Was he aware that whatever he was taking part in would result in a child?"

I did not want to respond, I blankly stared at the table.

"Every man is aware, they're simply not concerned for the consequences since they don't bare proof of the infidelity." Mrs Philips responded. It made me wonder, what if Beatrice bore his child... were those his exact thoughts. He knew whatever he was partaking in would lead to the very same fate. His mother was horrible even so that he appeared in the papers from time to time. All eyes were always on him, I felt somewhat sorry for him, if he truly loved Beatrice. They would have to fight a storm before being together. It also made me wonder was he with her when his wife was present? I felt at comfort knowing I was not and would never be in such a situation. As long as I kept to myself and minded my own, I'd be fine.

From there, they asked me more questions about my experience with children. Reminisced on memories of their daughter and how much Lewis resembled her. Anna's parents were nice people but I could sense mild discomfort. They tried to ignore my race and focus on their grandchild but there were instances where they couldn't help but say something coherently racist. I was used to, the stares, banters— did not phase me, I had grown up on worse conditions. Being watched every time I entered the room afraid I'd steal, was nothing.

Mrs Philips insisted on giving Lewis a bath that night. Giving me some alone time for a bit which I was grateful for. I took a walk around their home, they had no servants around. The peace and serenity was something I could appreciate. I sat on the bench in their backyard admiring the solitude.

"You seem to have so many plantation stories."

I turned to see Lord Hugh in his intimidating stance, hands in his pockets, hair sleeked back with a unreadable facial expression. I did not understand why this man kept hounding me when I preferred to not speak to him unless necessary.

"I suppose..." I muttered.

Taking a few steps, he sat beside me. I immediately wanted to stand up. Perhaps Lewis was done and Mrs Philips needed my help. I contemplated standing up before he spoke once more.

"Then what happened?" He asked.

"Uhm... well it's complicated so much happened all that matters is he returned, they're expecting their second child. They seem happy."

"How delightful." He smiled. I nodded. "Things must be simpler in rural areas compared to the cities."

"Easy? Plantations are awful Lord Hugh."

"I meant to say with settling with a black woman."

"I wouldn't know."

"Are you always so reserved?"

"I know my place and I do not like crossing boundaries that could jeopardise my job."

He chuckled. "Out of curiosity, what is your place?"

"A nanny, a black nanny. I'm here to care for Lewis not sit on benches with his father. Please Lord Hugh, you're giving Anna's parents ideas that I serve you in many ways. It's disrespectful to Anna."

He seemed more amused than offended.

"I assure you, that will never happen. Do not worry your naive self. If I wanted to take you to bed, I would have by now."

I was offended but smiled.

"That makes me glad sir."

"Glad?"

"Yes, with all due respect; I'm glad you respect yourself enough to not bed every skirt that walks past you."

He laughed out loud before staring at me intently there was silence. I took it as a sign to excuse myself. Mrs Philips had been watching us from the kitchen window. "The way he looks at you..." she whispered. "It doesn't sit well with me."

I did not understand, what she meant. I decided to remain ignorant.

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