The Publicist

Breaking The Rules

"T I can carry em.'"

"I know but Aug told me to get them. And when the bossman speak , I listen."

"Oh gawd." I rolled my eyes as we walked toward the room. Big T knocked on the door and August answered.

Big T set my bags down, then left out.

"Why would you do that August?" I sat on the edge of the bed.

"Because I'm not listening to no fucking rules. I'm not living my life constrained like that. You're my girl, we gon' act like it." He said unpacking some of his clothes and putting them in the drawer.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, crossing my leg's women's style, staring off.

"First you upset because we not in a relationship. Now you upset because we are."

"I'm not upset August. It's just I don't want to be thrust into the spotlight like that. I think relationships are private. I think relationships are sacred. And I don't want people tearing it down."

"If it's that easy for our relationship to crumble, maybe we shouldn't be together anyway."

"You don't get it." I got up unpacking my clothes.

"What don't I get?" He sat on the edge of bed, watching me. "Explain to me."

"Nevermind." I put my clothes on hangers and put them in the closet.

"Was you not finna' be in here with me anyway?"

"Yeah I was but---."

"Then why am I going to spend extra money, to pay for a room that nobody is going to be in? That's stupid. I got money, but not to waste."

I just silently put my clothes up.

"Why are you so pressed about all this Jazz? Hm?"

"This is my job August and I just know what it does. Relationships are already hard and being in the spotlight makes it harder."

"So you don't want us to go out together? No vacations? No dinners? You don't want me to hold you? You don't want me to take pictures with you? Nothing like normal couples."

"That's not what I'm saying." I sat next to him.

"I do. I just don't want people knowing who I am if that makes sense. I don't want to be on anyone's blogs. I don't want to be on mediatakeout or tmz. I don't want to be the brunt of people jokes. I've seen what Lauren goes through and I don't want that for me. She's strong. She doesn't care. But I do."

"Listen I don't know if you know, but I'm not a social media person. I do what I do then get off. I'm not one of them niggas that puts they whole life out there. So our privacy, we gon have that.

But if we at a club and you next to me and I feel like wrapping my arms around your waist I'mma do it. If we on the red carpet and I feel like holding your hand I'mma do it. If we at dinner and I feel like kissing you, I'mma do it. And then when niggas ask me about it, imma say it's none of their business. Cause it ain't. I'm not gone live my life by some calculated rules. Now in terms of my career moves, you control that. But in terms of this, I got it. Comprende?"

I chucked at his confidence. Deep down I did want those things but I guess I was just thinking of it as a publicist and scared my life would become a media mess like some of my clients. But when he said he was trying this relationship thing he was all in, so I had to be.

"I get it."

"Me and D got a conference call with Knuck about the new album. He letting us hear some new tracks, so imma be in D room most of today until rehearsal."