When I Adored You (Bad Desires #1)

15

"Yeah, that was not enough," James whispered and closed his eyes for some moments before opening again. His lips sliding down to her cheek, "I should have tried harder. I should have chased after you."

Kara stayed silent as she felt his touch on her body. His lips traced the path down to her lips, remembering the time when he had kissed her under the tree for the first time. He did not deepen the kiss, his lips lingered over hers for a moment before opening his mouth and nibbling her lips.

"I realized I had lost you when you were not with me." Kara's gaze met his with tears. There was happiness in them for having him near herself after so long but sadness as well, 

"I don't want to lose you again, Kara. I have been living in hell for so fucking long. I can not handle it anymore. I don't want to ignore my feelings, give you more time or let everything remain the way it is. I am going to accept it. I am in love you with you."

Kara's eyes fell shut tight as helplessness gripped her but James continued to speak, 

"It has always been this way. I have loved you since before I even knew what it was. I don't even remember not being in love with you. I can not live in a world where you are not around me, Kara. I love you. You have to be mine forever."

The words that she had been yearning to hear for years now made her feel so helpless. The words touched her heart, gave her a sense of security and peace that she had not realized she had been yearning for, but she felt helpless and unsure to hear or believe anything that came out of James' mouth. The scar he had inflicted was too deep. She had always stayed understanding of him, tried to be the one who always stood by his side even when his parents or others didn't but she could not let herself break through the shackles of bounds anymore. She needed to stay in her limits. James was no longer her future. Damon was.

"Stop it." she breathed out forcefully, "Please stop it."

James' hand gripped her arm, bringing her more close to him, "I won't. I love you and I can say it again and again until you believe each word. Kara... please be mine."

"I can not." Kara begged, "It is not possible. I am not bound to be with you."

Her words made him angry. He could not understand why she was not believing him. Why the words they had both longed to say for so many years were useless to her now.

As the words came out of her lips, he could not stop himself from shutting her up. His anger got the best of him as he slammed his lips upon hers. Kara fell still, unmoving but his lips moved over hers passionately in a deep kiss. But as soon as the shock of being kissed by him passed, Kara regained her consciousness and with all her might jerked him away from herself.

"It is not right." she whispered in a meek voice in an attempt to cover her own feelings with the lie, "I don't love you."

James looked down at her with helplessness. He knew he had fucked up big time. She was having to bear the burden of loving him and at the same time refusing him.

"Why are you saying this." he stepped closer, eating up the distance she had created, cornering her against the wall, trapping her, "I know you love me. Don't lie to me, Kara. It is of no use."

"I am bound to say that. There is no other option left." Kara whispered and shoved his chest to push him away from her path. James instantly ran after her to stop her but then he saw as she ran fast, she collided into the back of a well built man.

She was about to fall down when the man turned around and grabbed her waist, saving her from the fall.

"How can you run like that? What would have happened if you had fallen down and hurt yourself, princess?"

"Damon." Kara mumbled.

"Obviously." Damon grinned at her and pulled her in a bear hug. She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly, afraid of losing her way again.

"I never knew you had missed me this much." Damon teased gently, "I missed the chance to put color on you first though."

Kara pulled herself out of the hug but stayed in the embrace of his arms. Extending her palm in front of him that was filled with red color she gave a small smile, "still not too late though."

Damon smiled and took the color from her palm and applied it on her cheeks lovingly. Unintentionally her gaze fell upon James who was standing a few feet away from them. His eyes filled with hurt at seeing them together like this.

She immediately moved her eyes away, not wanting to witness the pain that she knew she was inflicting inside him. She lifted her hand up and touched it on Damon's cheek, applying the color. But Damon put his hand on the back of hers to rub her soft palm that was covered in color more on his cheek, feeling her touch. As she stared into Damon's eyes, she could only see pure happiness.

"I missed you so fucking much all these years." Damon sighed in delight and pulled her in a hug once again, letting her head rest on his chest lovingly.

"Aw..." Kara suddenly heard Damon's grandma's voice, "my sweet children. I wish you both always stay happy like this together forever."

Kara's eyes fell shut to ignore James' penetrating eyes, while Damon's smile widened, tightening his arms around the love of his life.

James was confused and frustrated. The sight of Kara being hugged by someone else was tormenting him from inside but just then he saw her body going limp. A tremor of fear immediately ran inside him as he ran towards her.

*****

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