Bts Army Awards 2021

✍Round-2 (K.N.J elimination)

Title:- When I read your title I immediately understood the plot and everything. It is a way of judging your book. So people would judge your book by the title and those who like it will read your book and those who don't want read your book. But as a writer, you have to make the readers want to read and not kind of give it away from the plot itself. So maybe you could choose a little something related to the theme of the story. Just a suggestion but I think this would highly help.

As I was reading I noticed a few grammar mistakes and if they are not corrected I feel they would highly misunderstand what is happening. So I think book needs some editing and that would really help and improve your book.

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Book: "When an idol meets her idols"

Author: aesthetic_mess14

Judge 2: Nefelibatas_world

Title: 3/5
Cover: 4/10
Description: 5.5/10
First impression: 5/10
Writing style: 6.5/10
Character actions and decision: 6.5/10
Plot: 14/20
Explanation: 3.5/5
Sense: 8.5/10
Spelling, grammar and vocabulary: 5.5/10

Total:-62/100

Review-

Title: 3/5 [The title is simple and we can easily predict from it that Y/N is an idol and she's going to meet her idols (BTS) and it matches with the storyline too. And that's why it doesn't much catch my attention. And I think it's a little long. You could've come up with something unique or short maybe?]

Cover: 4/10 [The cover is nice and simple but it doesn't catch my eye that I would be amazed saying "oh my that's beautiful". Also, you've used the already made fanart of Namjoon— in which Namjoon's face isn't even looking clear. You just added the title and some light leaks along with increasing the clarity of it. But remember this doesn't make a good book cover and it also doesn't matches with the story. If you're not able to make a good cover yourself then there are plenty of other graphic designers who can help you out. You just need to fulfil their payments and you're done. So I would suggest you to try it.]

Description: 5.5/10 [I don't know but I felt it was too bland. Like the title clearly says "When an idol meets her idols" so just extending it wouldn't make a good and attractive blurb which you did and I think it would've been better if maybe you add some little dialogues to make the reader dive inside the book but the blurb didn't have that power. It didn't catch my attention I'm sorry but I'm just being honest :(]

First impression: 5/10 [I've already explained about the title, cover and description so you know now that it didn't attract me much. Rather it was like a 50-50 thing with me as I've given the marks. It would make me add the book to my reading list but I'm not sure If I would read it or not. And also the starting of your book, the first chapter was quite an overused starting I guess? Like you know waking up and all. So I think the starting would've been better but after reading the first 3 chapters I can say I made myself indulge to read it more further.]

Writing style: 6.5/10 [It was kinda messy I would say but not that much so it's fine. The writing style was simple as well. The paragraphs were neither too big nor too short but one thing I would say that why I said that I was "messy". A lot of times you've used words in the capital which really breaks the flow of reading. Instead of that you could've either wrote them in bold or italics, which looks more descent. And also you've used ".." instead of "." or "…" I'm referring to the no. of full stops here. The correct format includes using either one or three full stops, not two. You've also used some words in the description along with hashtag like #fangirling, #happy which makes it look weird. Also if I talk about long dialogues where you're kinda explaining something or telling a story it's never continuous without any break. For example— when Y/N told bangtan about her childhood— continue in the next message
you literally narrated it in one go without any breaks and it was in paragraphs one by one which was wrong as that's now how you write dialogues. It would've been much better if you added Y/N and bangtan's reactions, actions and emotions when Y/N was narrating it like "she took a pause, she sobbed, she clenched the chopsticks in jer hands, she looked so hurt or broken, bangtan paused whatever they were doing and their eyes were fixated on her figure, they felt so bad about her. See? I could've been better right? I'm sorry if I'm being a little annoying here but I do all the correction and editing in my group so I notice really very small details and if the writing isn't in its format it stings in my eyes. At last in this I would say in chapter 37, the moonstruck conversation between Namjoon and Y/N caught my heart literally. I don't know if it's written by you or it's a song or poem because I searched but couldn't find anything so I assume it's your work.—continue in the next message
Even if isn't it really very beautifully suits in that ❤]