Cacophony (PAUSED FOR EDITING AND UPDATES)

16: a n d y

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Sydney kept out of sight as much as possible as the guys got up on stage and began their show. She knew that she couldn't keep this from Chris for long, so she kept her head down and stayed busy. Tears kept threatening to escape her eyes, but she blinked them back again and again. When they played their last song, she was thankful that the guys honored the crowd's demand for an encore. It had been a great show. She approached Gunny, tapping him on the arm.
"We're going to need some extra help with tear down. The rest of the tour is most likely canceled. I just have to talk to everyone."
"What? Why?"
"I got bad news... about Andy."
The tears won that time, spilling out faster than she could stop them.
"Oh shit."
"Yeah. I have to tell Chris first."
Gunny hugged her, and she returned it gratefully. Wiping at her eyes again, she turned back to look at Chris. His head was tilted up to the ceiling, filling the room with his other worldly wail. As the song ended, he was the first to exit stage right, Kim staying up a little longer to mess with the feedback. As soon as he saw the look in her eyes, he knew something was wrong. He held his hand out to her, and she took it. Leading him out behind the club and into the bus bay, she looked around to make sure they were alone. Looking back up at him, she squeezed his hands tight.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
She was crying again, and he hated it.
"I am so sorry, Chris. Andy's in the hospital. He overdosed last night."
She watched as the information registered in his brain, his concern morphing into confusion.
"Is... he's going to be okay though?"
Another tear rolled down Sydney's cheek as she shook her head.
"He's on life support. They don't know if he will-"
She couldn't finish. He swallowed, his eyes searching hers. So badly she wished that this wasn't real. Fear and disbelief crashed through him in waves, and he slid down the wall to the ground. Sydney went down with him, threading her fingers through his hair and touching her forehead to his, not caring about his sweat slicked body as it clung to her own. When a tear rolled down his cheek she kissed it away. There was nothing she could say to make this better, so she let him hold her as tightly as he needed to.
"Do you want to go home?" She whispered into his hair after awhile.
"Yeah." He whispered back.
"Alright. I already talked to Susan, I just have to talk to Mark and we'll figure out how we're getting home. Okay?"
He nodded. She kissed the top of his head, holding him for a little while longer before getting up and helping him to his feet. He held tightly to her arm as they found Mark and Gunny, and even tighter when she again explained to them what was happening. The two men led the way into the dressing room to break the news to the others.
It was a rough evening. They rented a cheap, by-the hour motel room to make some phone calls and figure out what was going on. Andy's manager and Xana both gave them updates, but none of the news was good. Susan and Mark were working on getting them all on flights home. Someone had gotten a couple bottles of booze which were passed around somberly. They all drank in gloomy quiet, nobody knowing what to say and everyone knowing that nothing would fix what had happened.
Sydney didn't leave Chris's side, and he kept a tight hold on her. To him, it felt like the world was spinning and she was the only thing keeping him anchored. She didn't say anything, didn't stare at him with pity in her eyes or offer her condolences. She just sat with him, silently shielding him from having to worry about anything or deal with anything.
After a couple of hours Susan called and let them know that she was able to get tickets for Chris and Sydney to get home that night and three tickets for the other band members the following day. Gunny and Mark would stay on the bus with the driver and the gear and get it home safely that way.
Chris and Sydney grabbed their personal bags that they had packed from the bus and took a taxi to the airport. The flight was over seven hours, and Chris hardly let go of her hand once. They barely spoke, leaning their heads together to try and get any rest that they were able. When the pilot announced their descent into Seattle, they awoke to find that some flight attendant had covered them with a blanket.
Susan met them at the airport, taking them immediately to the hospital. The decision had been made to take Andy off of life support, but Xana had requested that they wait until Chris got to say goodbye.
It was a completely surreal experience. The rest of Mother Love Bone were there, along with a large number of people from the local music scene. Susan led them silently passed everyone to the room where Andy slept. Chris paused for a long moment outside the door.
"I'll be right here, okay?" Sydney whispered, giving his arm a gentle squeeze.
He looked down at her in alarm, not caring what anyone might think as he grabbed hold of her hand.
"Will you stay with me?"
He had said it so quietly that Sydney barely heard it. She couldn't deny that a huge part of her didn't want to go in there. Watching her dad die in the hospital in a similar fashion had been enough for her. She knew that people didn't look like themselves when they were laying on their deathbed. Chris was about to figure that out, and she decided right then that she would rather be there for him than save her own eyes from seeing reality.
"Yeah, okay. Whatever you need."
He took a few deep breaths before opening the door and entering the room. Andy's family and Xana were in there, some of them rising to hug or shake hands with them before taking their seats once more. Chris barely moved, not saying a word to anyone. He was frozen, staring down at Andy with his lips parted. Sydney couldn't bear it. He was so pale, with tubes coming from his mouth and machines keeping his heart and lungs functioning. She buried her face in Chris's chest, crying silently as they held on to each other so hard it almost hurt.