Cacophony (PAUSED FOR EDITING AND UPDATES)

13: p a t i e n c e

 

From the likes of her to the the time of me, like the moon to Earth and the sky to sea. Only we're no longer allowed to be.

October, 1989

  Chris had whipped up a quick breakfast while Sydney showered, making plenty of extra eggs and sausage for everyone that was due to arrive. Susan was first, surprising Sydney as she stood at the kitchen counter buttering toast for everyone as it popped out of the toaster.
"You're early." Susan said, causing Sydney to jump a mile.
"Oh! Yeah, I uh, thought I'd help get the guys out the door."
  She had never been a liar before... now they seemed to just roll off her tongue with ease. It wasn't a good feeling, and it only added to the guilt she already felt.  She watched as Susan eyed her wet, freshly washed hair, knowing that she wasn't buying it.
"Chris is in the shower, he should be down soon. He made breakfast for everyone."
"That was nice of him."
  She could hear it in Susan's voice... she didn't believe Sydney. She was probably assuming the worst. With a sigh, Sydney quickly put together two paper plates of food and walked over to the dining room table. She sat, indicating Susan to sit beside her. Susan obliged, grabbing the fork Sydney offered and they both dug in.
"I lied." Sydney confessed.
"I figured." Susan countered.
  Their eyes met and they both smiled hesitantly.
"I'm sorry. I want to tell you the truth. Adam and I got into a big fight last night. He had been drinking- well, we both had been drinking. Things just got a little... out of control. Once he fell asleep I grabbed all my bags and left. Chris and Andy were the only people I knew that might still be awake, and it was either come here or sleep in my truck."
"So you came here."
"Yeah, I did."
"You didn't feel safe at home?" Susan asked.
  Sydney paused. She had wanted to be honest, but not that honest. The side of her head still ached fiercely, and the truth was that she hadn't felt safe at home. However, she did shove him first. She wasn't ready to tell anyone that yet.
"I think that we both just had too much to drink and made some bad choices. The guys gave me a place to sleep and a place to shower this morning before we headed out. I'm grateful to have them as friends."
  When she emphasized the word friends, she could see Sue visibly relax. Sydney felt relieved as well, telling at least part of the truth had made one of them feel better. Even though Sue and Chris weren't together anymore, she knew it would still hurt her to think he had moved on so quickly with someone who was so close to them. The two women ate the rest of their breakfast, chatting easily, when Andy walked in. He looked exhausted again, but his face brightened up a little when he saw Sydney.
"Morning, Sunshine. Morning Susie." He greeted them.
"Morning Andy." She said, standing to clear her and Susan's plates from the table. "Dish up, Chris made plenty."
"Oh, no thank you. I'm not hungry." He smiled.
"Alright."
  Sydney offered him a smile and left the kitchen to move her truck out to the front. She was surprised when Andy followed her into the back yard.
"Sorry if we woke you up this morning, Sunshine. I felt bad when I saw your truck out here."
  His eyes were mostly apologetic, but there was a twinkle of mischievous suggestion there as well as be pulled a joint out of his pocket and lit it. Sydney shrugged a shoulder, shaking her head as her cheeks bloomed red.
"It's okay, I... we were just sleeping. Nothing happened."
"You don't have to explain yourself." He laughed. "You find your happiness wherever you can and leave it at that."
  His boyish smile was big and contagious as usual. He was such a fun, sweet guy. She wondered what he and Xana could possibly fight about... Andy was like a big happy teddy bear. She didn't know Xana well, so there was no way for her to assume either way. Andy held the joint out to Sydney and she declined, shaking her head.
"Are you sure? Long car ride ahead of you."
"Well... okay. Just one hit, I said I'd drive first."
  He smiled as she took it, then let his eyes fall down to his shoes for a moment.
"You okay? You've seemed a little tired lately." She asked him, passing the joint back.
"I'm great, Sunshine." He flashed her another dazzling smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"
  Sydney gave him a look.
"You just apologized for waking me up this morning. I know you and Xana had a fight. I don't need to hear about it... I just want you to tell me you're okay."
"I am okay." His smile grew as he passed the joint back to Sydney, who took it absently. "Love hurts sometimes."
"Huh. Yeah." She mused, thinking about her mother's final words to her. "That's actually why I was here last night. Adam and I got into it bad."
  She took a deep toke and passed it back to him. When she looked up at him, his smile was gone.
"Did he hit you?"
  His question was so direct that Sydney faltered. She stared up at him in shock. When she didn't answer, he pulled her in to a tight, knowing hug.
"I'm fine, Andy. I promise." She assured as he let her go.
"I know. You're tougher than you look." He finally smiled again.
  Andy didn't look like Andy without a smile on his face. Sydney handed the joint back, realizing that she'd hit it two more times and hoping that nobody would be able to tell.  She considered switching driving duty with someone, letting Andy know that she had to start packing up. As she climbed into her truck and started the engine, Andy called out to her through the still-open door. She looked up, seeing that his smile had disappeared again. He took a few steps toward her so that he could speak quietly.
"I have this theory. Maybe love only hurts because we have romanticized the idea of romance."
"Oh yeah?" She smirked, chalking it up to yet another one of Andy's goofy stoned rants he had a habit of carrying on.
"Yep. We grow up thinking that the only way to succeed is to be loved by somebody. So we seek that out over everything else, and the second we find someone that says 'hey, I love you!', we kill ourselves just trying to force that piece of the puzzle into our lives. What happens when you try to jam a puzzle piece into a puzzle where it doesn't belong?"
"You ruin the pieces." She breathed quietly.
  Sydney wasn't sure if it was just because of the weed, but what he said made sense. Was she forcing things with her and Adam because that was what she thought was expected of her? She hadn't had a traditional upbringing, a traditional family or parents who paid much attention to her at all. Maybe Andy was right... or maybe the truth was that love does always hurt, no matter how much we wish it didn't.
"Well, I don't want to see either one of us ruined. So let's just keep our heads high and keep moving forward." She offered after a minute.
"Alright. I will if you will." They shook hands, and with a smile he turned and went back in the house.
  Matt, Kim and Gunny all pulled up behind Sydney as she parked her pickup on the front side of the house, dropped off by Kim's girlfriend. She let them know that there was food inside for those who hadn't eaten yet, and followed them in after grabbing her sunglasses and putting them on. She washed any cups or silverware that were used so that they weren't leaving a mess behind. Chris eventually came in and they all decided who was riding where. Then Xana entered... followed by Adam.
  Most of them didn't think twice as Xana caught Syd's attention, except for Chris and Susan. Both of them went quiet as Sydney approached Adam and led him outside so that they could talk. Chris wandered into the front room to watch them discreetly out the open front door, thankful when Gunny and Matt began to load their gear into the van.
"So they had a bad fight, huh?"
  Chris turned to see Susan standing behind him and nodded.
"She told you that?"
  It was Susan's turn to nod.
"I think she thought I was worried you two were sleeping together. She explained that they had a fight and she came here to crash."
  Chris looked at Susan in surprise, but Susan just smiled.
"I'm not stupid Chris. I've seen the way you look at her."
"We're not sleeping together." He assured.
"I know. But you still care about her, and she cares about you. It wasn't easy for me to accept at first, but I realized that trying to force a relationship between you and I would only distract me from finding someone who will look at me like that someday."
  They looked at one another for a long moment before Chris finally returned her smile.
"You know I never meant to hurt you, right?" He asked.
"I know. Sometimes things just change. I figured out that it's easier to let them change then to try and force it. I also have a date next weekend."
  Chris laughed, feeling a little lighter. He was happy that Susan didn't hate him. That feeling clouded a little when he looked back at Sydney and saw Adam's lips on hers.
"Keep it in your pants, Syd." Jason joked as he interrupted them, opening the hatch on Sydney's truck and tossing a backpack back there.
  He would be riding back there for the first part of the trip. She was supposed to be driving while Chris rode shotgun, but she reluctantly realized that she was going to have to let him drive.
"I'll call you as soon as we get there." Sydney promised Adam before he got in his car and left.
  When she turned around she wasn't surprised to see Chris watching her.
"You two seem to be okay now." He observed as she approached where he stood on the porch.
"Yeah... I guess so."
  Adam still wasn't exactly happy with her, but he knew that he couldn't force her to stay home in front of all these people. Sydney hadn't told Adam that Chris and Susan had broken up, and it helped when he looked up and saw the former couple talking in the doorway before he left.
"Hey, so are you still up to driving first?" She asked, changing the subject.
"You argued with me for twenty minutes, giving me a detailed list of reasons why you should drive first. Now you're changing your mind?"
"Well that was earlier. Now I think I fancy taking in a little scenery." She giggled.
"What's with the sun glasses?" He asked suspiciously.
"The sun has been poking out here and there this morning. Why not?"
"You were wearing them inside while you did the dishes." He smirked.
"I'm feeling like Corey Hart, what can I say." She tried to brush off, but he stopped her by reaching a hand up to gently take the glasses off her face.
"You smoked weed with Andy, didn't you?" He laughed as he took in her red eyes, his dimples flashing cutely.
"I'll have you know," Sydney retorted, "he is incredibly convincing. It's impossible to say no to those puppy dog eyes and those baby cheeks."
"You're a real dick you know that?" He smiled.
"I owe you one." Sydney offered him her sweetest smile in return, handing him the keys.
  With everything packed up and all of them fed, it was time to hit the road.