Cacophony

3: u n f o r g e t t a b l e

I walked along, feeling at ease and falling like rain.

"You're never going to change my mind." Kim was telling Sydney, splashing her with lake water as they floated in the moonlight with Chris and Matt.
"I'm not even saying you're wrong... I agree that we are basically a fuck ton of ants floating around space on a big rock." They all laughed as she continued. "All I'm saying is that it's a scientific miracle at all that we, as specific individuals, exist. There are over five billion people on this earth, but it took two parents, four grandparents, eight great-grandparents.... you know, all the way back to the beginning of time. They all had to procreate at one specific moment to create us as the specific humans we are and not a slightly different version of ourselves. Like a sibling or something."
"Okay, you have a point... but we're still ants on a floating space rock."
Sydney laughed, leaning her head back into the water and floating on her back in order to see the moon. As the watery silence pounded her eardrums she pondered the events of the day that had brought her here. It had started out with her feeling so uncertain. Now, she had the job she came here for and had made new friends that had somehow convinced her to strip down to her under-things and jump off of a freeway into a lake in the middle of the night. She was floating here in the moonlight having existential conversations with those new friends, feeling more comfortable than she had in a long while. Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted as her head bumped in to something warm. Opening her eyes she saw Chris's haunting gaze looking down at her. She righted herself in the water, sending a playful splash his way.
"Sydney Lee, will you marry me?" Chris asked, wiping the water from his face distractedly.
Her head whipped over to look at him, shocked when she saw that his expression was serious. He had to be joking. She laughed, shaking her head.
"I don't believe in marriage." She said in an attempt to cover the awkwardness.
"Any chance I could change your mind on that?" He asked, swimming closer.
His face was still serious. If he was joking he was doing a great job of hiding it. Looking around at Matt and Kim, they were also staring at their bandmate as if he had lost his mind.
"Ask Susan to marry you." She said, splashing him again and swimming away to put some distance between them.
He followed her, and she felt his breath hot on her shoulder when he responded.
"I asked you first."
She twirled around in the water to face him, eyebrows knitted incredulously.
"I thought you said she trusted you?"
"She does."
"Yet you're out here proposing to girls you just met even though she trusts you?"
"You're not just any girl. You're Sydney Lee, and you're my best friend."
A smile finally ghosted his lips, and she shook her head with a laugh.
"I think that's my cue to go home. Who's riding in the van?" Kim spoke up.
"I'm going to crash on your couch if that's cool." Matt said, and Kim nodded.
Unsurprisingly, Chris said he was going to ride with Sydney to make sure she got home safe. Kim and Matt looked at one another and shrugged, not knowing what had gotten in to their usually quiet friend. After bidding their goodbyes, the two men climbed out of the water and made their way back up to the unfinished freeway ramp where the van was parked. Sydney and Chris were left alone. She swam around a bit, avoiding eye contact with him.
"You know, I've never cheated on Sue and I don't ever plan to." He said eventually.
"That's good. You should stick to being a decent dude like that."
"I will. But... what if I met someone else? Like... accidentally? Someone I bumped in to while trying to get a shitty cup of coffee?"
"Then I'd suggest getting your ducks in a row and getting to know that person a little better before you go trying to sign your life away to them. Marriage is like cancer. It kills you slowly unless you're smart enough to jump ship before it sinks."
They stared at one another for a long moment before Chris finally smiled.
"Fair enough. I'm a patient man. You'll marry me someday, Sydney Lee. You'll see."
She shook her head and rolled her eyes, but her smile... to him, her smile was brighter than the sun. They splashed around a little while longer, neither of them really wanting to leave. However, exhaustion eventually got the best of them both and they decided to call it a night. Sydney was self conscious as she got out of the water. Her white shirt added to the chilly air resulted in hardened nipples and a see through top. If he noticed, he was a gentleman about it. He kept his eyes down as they climbed the embankment toward her truck. Once they got there, they started pulling on their dry clothes and then ambled into the cab. Chris took the driver's seat at his insistence, backing up and re-entering the freeway like a professional. After a minute or so of driving in silence he nodded toward the collection of cassette tapes that accumulated on the passenger side floor.
"Put in your favorite tape. I want to hear it."
"No, you don't."
"Why, is it embarrassing?" He asked, smirking.
"Maybe."
"I still want to hear it."
With a sigh she leaned forward to search for a certain tape, and when she found it she reluctantly pushed it into its place. The easy sound of 'I'll Be Seeing You' began to fill the space.
"Billie Holiday?" He asked.
"Mmhmm." She blushed.
"That's a surprising choice from a girl who sold all of her worldly possessions in order to follow Soundgarden up and down the west coast."
She laughed, giving a quick shrug of her shoulders.
"I can't help it. I grew up on rock and roll, but I've always had a thing for the simple sweetness of old music. There's nothing complicated about it. The world needs more of that."
"Completely understandable." He said, smiling to himself.
She leaned her head back on the seat as the music washed over her.
I'll be seeing you,
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through.
Chris was mesmerized listening to her sing softly along, eyes closed and head back. It was alarming how fast he had become enamored with her. To him, she was what perfection must look like.
Too quickly they arrived at her apartment. As she guided him in to the parking area on the street, he felt sadness gripping him at the thought of being away from her.
"How are you going to get home?" She asked.
"I only live a few blocks from here. I can walk."
"No...don't walk home." She said, worried.
It was late, and while she was sure he was familiar with the city, it all felt new and intimidating to her.
"Should I come up to your place instead?" He joked, looking at her coyly.
"No!" She she exclaimed with a pointed look. "Just take my truck."
"What?" He asked, surprised.
"Drive it home tonight. I won't need it, I'm going straight to bed. I planned on coming by your place tomorrow anyways to clean all your shit, remember? Just swing by and pick me up whenever you're ready. I'll be here."
"You're putting an awful lot of trust in someone you just met today."
"Why wouldn't I? I thought we were best friends." She pointed out mischievously.
He didn't answer right away, and she laughed. He cut the engine and she stared up at the full moon through the open window.
"I like that." He spoke eventually.
"What? That we're friends?"
"Yeah. I like when you laugh, too."
"Oh my god, stop already." She laughed again, opening her door and climbing out.
She turned to tell him goodnight, but stopped as he got out of the truck and made his way around the car.
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"To walk you to your door."
"Oh. You don't have to."
"I gotta know where to find you in order to give you your truck back tomorrow." He pointed out.
"That's right." She relented.
She led the way up to her third story apartment, stopping just outside the door.
"Thank you for inviting me to the lake tonight. I had a lot of fun with you guys." Sydney said truthfully.
"We go all the time. You're always invited."
"Thanks." She said again, feeling a little unsure of herself.
They stood in awkward silence for a moment, before Chris reached out and grabbed her hand. Slowly he brought her fingers to his full lips and planted a sweet kiss across her knuckles, not breaking eye contact.
"Goodnight, Sydney Lee." He said, voice thick.
"Goodnight." She replied, her own voice just barely above a whisper.
He stood there as she unlocked the deadbolt, and she shot one last smile at him before closing the door and leaning against it. She let out a deep breath, letting the cool wood soothe her forehead.
"Who was that?"
Liz's voice made her jump out of her skin. She cried out in surprise as she whipped her head around to face her friend. Laughing nervously, she replied,
"Oh... Chris. His name is Chris."
"Right... and who is Chris?"
"The lead singer of Soundgarden." She admitted, unable to keep the girlish grin from spreading across her lips.
"Seriously?!" Liz balked, and Sydney nodded. "Does that mean you got the job?!"
"Yep!" Sydney said excitedly.
Both girls squealed, doing happy dances before Liz embraced Syd in a congratulatory hug.
"I am so proud of you. This was your dream, and you went out and made it happen."
"Thank you." Sydney said quietly, feeling a little choked up.
She wished for the first time ever that she could go home to that shitty Winnebago and tell her father what she had accomplished today, but the reality of him no longer being here overshadowed her excitement. He would have loved Soundgarden, and Chris. Liz picked up on the slight note of melancholy in her friend's demeanor and hurried into the kitchen.
"This calls for a celebration."
She opened the cabinet above the refrigerator that was too tall for Sydney to reach and brought out the expensive bottle of vodka that they had only taken a few shots from in the past few weeks. As she poured them both a drink, she implored Sydney to tell her everything that had happened throughout the day. Sydney obliged, leaving nothing out.
"Wait... wait. He proposed to you?! Was he kidding?!"
"I don't know. He had to have been."
"He has a girlfriend!"
"I know! He told me later that he would never be unfaithful to her, and... I believed him."
"Why?"
"I don't know. He's... different. The way he is on stage compared to how he is off stage couldn't be more opposite. He's not the usual 'rockstar' type. He's so direct, and sincere. And quiet. And also kind of sarcastic."
Sydney got lost in her thoughts about the frontman of the band she had come to adore. If there were words to accurately describe him, she hadn't learned them yet.
"Looks like somebody is already in love."
Sydney looked up at her friend just then, pretending to be offended. She grabbed a pen cap from the kitchen counter and launched it toward her roommate who dodged it. They laughed for a long time before they finally stilled.
"Is he good looking?" Liz finally asked.
"Sure. He's pretty cute." She lied.
He wasn't just a little cute, he was the perfect picture of a rock god. From his hair, to his eyes, his lips, his strong build, his shy humor... his unearthly voice that had hit her like a truck. There was nobody else on earth quite like Christopher Cornell.
"Okay... I'm going to bed." Liz yawned after a few moments.
"Me too." Sydney replied, finishing off her drink.
"Love you. See you tomorrow."
"Okay. Love you." Sydney said, offering her one last smile.
She was glad to have her friend here, who knew everything about her... but right now she was even more glad watching her go to bed. Having a roommate was draining for her sometimes, feeling like she had no time to herself. As a usually reclusive and introverted person, she was happy to be left with her own thoughts. Stretching out on her pathetic blanket cot on the floor of their apartment, she was excited for the next day. Even though she knew she shouldn't be, she was excited to see Chris again tomorrow. There was something about him that just pulled at her soul. It was something she had never experienced before. Something about the sound that came out of his mouth when the music started to play made her feel like she was a part of something big, and amazing. With her fond memories of Chris and his band, she slept deeply for the first time in a very long time.