When Reality Strikes ( Completed )

Chapter 44

Since I was fourteen, I've experienced a lot of things. Partying with my friends, dating, have flings but I have never been into a serious relationship.

I crush boys, I've experienced puppy love but that's all. After one month, I dump them because I'm tired. Mabilis akong magsawa kung boring at hindi kayang sakyan ang kabaliwan ko.

My first kissed is Harvey and the first guy I kissed is Alloy. Yeah, I have so many flings but I don't exceed in the kissing part. Just hugging and kissing in cheeks.

I have never been believed in true love exist in reality like duh~ Nowadays, wala ng ganon. They just promised but later, they cheat. In short, wala talagang forever and true love is not an exemption.

Pero ngayon, habang nakatayo ako sa harap ni Alloy at tinititigan siya sa mga mata, hindi ko na alam.

This is new to me. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang sobrang attraction, affection, and romantic love na toh kung tawagin. I-i just did confess my feelings to him in a very serious way. I did. I am really serious. I really love him, not just my poor friend but romantically.

The first time I confessed, I just liked him because I know that I am not yet sure of my true feelings but I realized, the more I got attached to him, the more he's always there beside me, the more I realized, I just don't like him but for some reason, I fell in love with him. Crazy, madly, deeply in love with him.

Ni hindi ko nga alam kung paano ko nasabi sa kanya ang mga salitang yon. Nawawala ako sa sarili, ni hindi ko makilala ang sarili ko ngayon.

Maybe it's really true, that we often fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time and do unexpected things.

Hindi umaayon ang puso ko sa sinasabi ng isip ko. They're fighting with the thought of Alloy and I can't be together. And Alloy and I can be happy together.

The old Jiezel, she will surely choose her pretty mind but for some reason, nangingibabaw ngayon ang kagustuhan ng puso ko. Damn it. I hate to admit it but sa mga oras na toh, ang pagmamahal ko kay Alloy ang nangingibabaw.

I'm in love with Alloy and I can't stop it now. I dunno if that's my consequences of being arrogant and bitchy or that's a blessing, that he came into my life to let me realize things and see my worth.

"Jiezel, bakit ako? Sa dinami-dami ng lalaki sa mundo, bakit sakin mo sinasabi ang mga salitang ito?"

Natigilan ako. Bakit nga ba? I want to laugh at this moment kasi hindi ko rin alam kung bakit, kung paano, I don't know.

Actually, I have to ask myself too. Jiezel, paano ka nakarating sa puntong toh? Bakit hinayaan mong mahulog ka sa lalaking bawal mong mahalin?

"Jiezel, isang hamak na mahirap lang ako. Taga-squatter. Galing sa mahirap na pamilya. Wala kong maipagmamalaki. Ako lang si Alloy, si Alloy Gueverra na naghahangad ng hustisya para sa katayuan namin. At ikaw, ikaw ang kilalang anak ng dating senador, at mayor, isang prinsesa na nabuhay sa karangyaan. Pinapangarap ng kalalakihan. Napakataas mo, Senyorita ni hindi kita maabot. Kaya paano mo nasasabing, ako ang mahal mo?"

I wiped my tears and sighed. I averted my eyes and smiled bitterly. "Bakit ganyan ka, Alloy? Bakit napakababa ng tingin mo sa sarili mo? Bakit ang dami mong insecurities sa buhay? Bakit ang duwag duwag mong sumugal?"

That saddened my heart. Again, Alloy and his insecurities. Alloy and his cowardness.

But no matter how many times I think of it, I still love him.