A Family Affair

thirty two // in fate's hands

I will love you for as long as life permits,

S.K.W 

I don't know what to say, but I know what I feel and I feel like I've made the biggest mistake I could ever make in my life, in my career and in my future. I know that the way I reacted was nothing ordinary, it was a spur of the moment and I didn't know how to properly handle things like these the way she does, but I think this is hope. We can be saved. 

saysay 

i'm sorry for how i reacted, it was wrong.

i need to talk to you. 

i want to make this right.

*phone call pov*

"Devin, I- I don't know where to begin.... It's very easy to accept an apology so therefore I will but just because I've forgiven you doesn't mean that I'm all healed up from the pain you caused me. Look, I understand that we mean so much to each other and our career paths are very different from each others, I want a different life from the one I was given as you know a backup plan- you know this of course... Basketball is your life and I would never in my life or the next or after that expect you to stop basketball to be with me here, yes, I understand there are leagues here but it isn't the same as the ones back home. i love you, it's never going to change i hope you know that. Your reaction was just not what i all expected, you got pissed and then you left and did not speak to me for days and that hurt but that was how you felt like you needed to do in the moment and I can't blame you for that because in my moment I flew out to another continent"

"I love you always Say and I don't like how we ended things and I know you don't blame me but I hold myself accountable for everything. I want to be with you, far, close whatever just to be with you is what I want but considering the circumstance I understand it can't work."

 "I know you love me and I'll remember that, we're on good terms 100%, we can't be together when I'd be here for years, a couple times a year I'd visit as much as I can but that wouldn't be enough for a relationship no matter how strong the connection is, if there's a void, someone will make mistakes and I'd rather not risk it. Plus, we've been done for quite a while now, you seemed to be going on dates, despite the shit you pull out your ass like some magician, you're trying to move on D, you might not know it but I know you well enough, and I have to learn how to be okay with that because I love you enough to let you be happy with someone else even if it isn't with me, we had a great time, the future we talked about? Shouldn't have done that in the first place, whether or not if we broke up I would've still made the move, who gets an invitation to study at Oxford? I made it up there without the help of my family, do you know how amazing that feels? It feels the same way you got drafted. We'll hang out whenever you're in town or whenever I am, with whatever time we have but whatever plan you had to be with me is long gone, your phase with those iffy ass tiktokers has to stop- baby they're fucking toxic and on top of that crazy. Come see me when you can, I love you always, but I think we should move on from each other and if God giving, we'll be where we need to be, if that means together. Okay? I love you so much Booker, Mango too" 

"So where does this leave us?"

"My heart will always be yours as yours is mine but we have to think about our priorities. I don't want to date anyone anytime soon but if Mr. fate brings in another man then hell, if it works then it will but if it doesn't then it's a lesson. I need you to not let go of yourself and remember to have fun and follow where your heart leads you to and I know you're going to say some corny shit about  it leads to me and mine leads to you, it does. But I've got like three years out here,  you're in Phoenix half of the time and the other times you're traveling tp different states and the times you're completely and absolutely free is for a few months of off season. I want to be with you Devin, so so  so much but this is a lot."