we all die anyways x bellamy blake/the 100

4 / selcouth

how do we forgive ourselves
for the things we failed to become

song
pleaser
wallows

this is everyone's tw warning for language, sex/sexual references, sexual assault, depression/suicide, and whatever else the 100 offers it's fans

———————
Charlie
———————

I watch with a smile as Octavia walks along side Finn, obviously flirting with the older boy. He probably didn't know that, though. Even so, it was really good to see her happy and free of anything holding her back.

"Who is she?" I snap back to reality and look to Clarke, who was eyeing O with a raised eyebrow. We had been walking in the forest for about five minutes now, and I was still completely and utterly memorized by the beauty of it all. The poems I read throughout my childhood could never truly describe the elegance of the light breeze floating throughout the air or the towering trees above me.

"Octavia Blake." I respond, to which she rolls her eyes.

"No shit," Clarke says. "What's your deal with her though?" She gives me a questioning glance. I hadn't seen Clarke in over a year. A lot of stuff happened in that time, I figured. She hadn't changed, though. Same hair. Same intimidating look that made you want to shit yourself.

"My deal with her?" I pause, walking around a tree. "We were good friends in lock-up." How should I exactly explain to my best friend that I half raised 15 year old girl who was practically my sister? Or best friend? God, I don't know, it confused me. She was my family, and that was good enough for me.

"It's obviously more than that, Charlie." Clarke pushes. I shrug slightly.

"I mean, she had never really been around people before. I guess I sorta taught her how to."

"You were always doing that," Clarke responds with a chuckle. I raise my eyebrows at her. "Helping the helpless. Especially kids, like back at the daycare."

I volunteered at The Ark's daycare as much as I could, helping kids and parents who needed it. I didn't necessarily love kids, but I guess I understood them. They felt alone. Helpless. I glance back at Clarke and give her another shrug. We walk in an awkward silence for a few moments. I catch sight of Octavia and Finn again, as he puts a purple flower in her hair. I feel a smile forming on my face.

"That, my friend, is game." A voice says behind me. The boy with googles, Jasper, nudges his friend, Monty, with his shoulder.

"That, my friend, is Poison Sumac." Monty says, twirling a flower in his hand.

"Poison?" Octavia questions, brushing the flower out of her hair. Monty takes a bite of of the flower, chewing softly.

"Not exactly. The flowers have a calming property when ingested." He replies, popping the rest of the flower into his mouth.

"Sick." I marvel, stopping at the flower bush. Clarke continues on, walking ahead of all of us. I pick a few of the flowers, then shove them in my jacket pocket.

"Monty's parents ran the pharmaceutical herbs and what not up on The Ark." Jasper explains.

"Guys, come on. We don't have all day." Clarke turns back, giving me a disapproving look. I roll my eyes at Octavia before jogging back up to Clarke once more.