Believe, Faith and Love

Party like its the first time....literally!

I could feel his heat radiating onto my body and soon the room seemed to suck me in.

"We don't have to do anything, just talk if you want" Will said startling me. I nodded then realised that he couldn't actually see me.

"Will" I cautiously said.

"You ok?" He asked his hand came up and rested on my arm.

"I just realised something" I replied trying to calm my breathing down. It wasn't working much. I closed my eyes and kept to thinking of my breathing. My body felt constricted, my mind went into over drive and i started to feel sweaty.

"What's that?" His other arm hand came up and rested on my other arm. I could feel his chest touching my head. I leaned in and kept my head resting on him.

"I don't like small spaces" I whimpered and closed my eyes even harder.

"Really?" I nodded at his question, but once again realised he couldn't see me. I went to speak again when he spoke before me.

 "Then just think about this" He said and before I could respond I felt his body pull away from and quickly the heat that went was replaced by the warmness of his lips. I was stunned at first, but he was so soft and gentle, barely touching. 

If my  mind wasn't crazy enough already i went into hyper drive. My first kiss, I kept thinking. My first kiss. I kissed back gently and felt him lean in more. Soon he was pushing me up against the wall of the pantry holding the kiss there softly yet sweetly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and before I could lean in more on the kiss, light blinded us and I opened my eyes. There I was staring at a confused brother, the girl that I was next to me, she was furious. I heard a few cheers a yeah's. I quickly pushed Will off me and walked out the closet. 

"See, I told you he didn't want to reject me" I said as I walked past the girl with a new found confidence. She grabbed my arm and went to say something when Ben interrupted us. 

"Leave it Samantha" he said and with a "humph" she walked away stomping her feet like a two year old not getting what it wanted. I turned to Ben "What's her problem?" I asked looking back in the direction she walked off in.

"Oh, don't worry about her, that's just Samantha, she's harmless." He said "That was a gutsy move, where you seriously just making out with Will?". He asked confused.

"It was nothing" I shurgged feeling a little hyper aware to the situation I was just in and then started to walk into the lounge room. 

"So how was that for your first game of truth or dare? Party style?" Will winked at me while walking over to us.

"Hmm it was all right, sucked I couldn't do any of the drinking dares though" I said trying to play the field cooly. I didn't want him to think this meant more than it actually felt to me. I didn't want anything else going further. I wasn't ready for something like that.

Before we left for the party my mother hounded me and Will and Ben not to let me do any drinking as it could highly affect my medication. Yeah I got that but still I didn't need to watched like a hawk. I had told Ben and Will they could go off and chill with a few of their mates but they refused, they wanted to stay next to me.

"Sorry about that, maybe a dance?" Will said as the music turned to a more mellow song. I thought for a moment and decided that I shouldn't. That kiss held way too much meaning behind it.

"Nah I shouldn't don't want to enrage miss dragon over there" I said nodding to Sam as she sat with a bunch of girls.

"Don't worry about her, as Ben said, she's harmless." He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the middle of the room. We had people around us dancing so we started to dance in tune with the song.

"So what's her deal anyway?" I asked. Will went to reply when I was spun around on the spot.

"What are you still doing here bitch?" Sam asked glaring at me.

"I'm actually dancing" I said then turned back to Will.

"Look Sam just back off ok, this is her first party leave her alone" He said

"First party, that doesn't surprise me. I mean with her being in hospital all her life" she snorted with a chuckle.

What did she just say? "Sam leave it" Ben warned. I didn't noticed he had come over to us.

"No seriously, she needs to understand she isn't wanted here, this isn't her place to be around, she doesn't know anyone and yet she is already making suck face" Samantha started taking a step closer to me. "Go back to hospital where you will be invisible and we can all forget about you" She stated giving me a death glare. "Get your disease ridden body out of here." I felt tears burn the back of my eyes and lump for in my throat. How could she be so nasty and say something like that to me?

What did I do to deserve this?

"Sam you take that back" Ben yelled.

"No, It's cool" I whispered. I didn't realise that the music had stopped and all the attention was on us. "She's right, I'll go" I walked past her hitting her shoulder with mine and walked through the front door of the house. Of course she's right. Who was I to walk into a place I didn't know. Who was i to fit in with a group of people that didn't know me. Who was I kidding, this wasn't my kind of lifestyle.  I could hear voices shouting out to me but I was numb. I knew it was too good to be true. I knew I wasn't able to fit in. I reached my house after walking for what seemed seconds. I walked through the door, locking it then into my room. I lied down on my bed and then started to cry my heart out. I ignored the knocking and pounding that came from my door. I could hear the guys calling out to me. I soon fell asleep to the rhythmic sounds of my tears.