The Fault In Our Stars - A Sen Cal Kapimi Fanfic

11||E D A

"Promise me that you'll take me with you every time you have to fly," I said immediately. It was something that I had been thinking about for a while.

"Why," Serkan said, still a little dazed from my previous comment.

"If something goes wrong with you, at least we'll be gone together," I replied straightforwardly and I saw the colour drain from Serkan's face.

"Don't you dare talk like that Eda, you're not going anywhere," he said sternly as he gripped my hand tightly. Just when I was going to comfort him with my other hand, he pulled it backwards, making me cringe a little.

"Tell me that you'll take me with you Serkan," I repeated, my hands reaching for his, not giving up after one failed attempt.

"What the hell Eda, you're being irrational!" he said as he retracted his hands for a second time and I could tell that he was disturbed.

"Yes it's irrational Serkan! But that's only because it's what I feel and I'm thikning with my heart. If you lose your memory again, I want to lose mine too," I went on, ignoring the frustration in his eyes.

"Eda, you're being childish! The likelihood that I'm going to lose my memory again..."

"It doesn't matter what the odds are Serkan, I'm serious about this," I said as I looked right back at him.

"Eda the fever's getting to your head, don't be ridiculous!" he waved the spoon around, but I didn't care, It wasn't the fever, it was something that had been eating at me ever since he had gone missing.

"It's not the fever Serkan," was all I said as he turned his gaze to me, his face slowly gained sobriety, and that's when I knew that he understood that I was completely in control of every word that left my mouth. 

"Tell me," I prompted, he knew fully well what I wanted to hear.

"I can't tell you what you want to hear Eda," he said, as he placed the bowl of soup near the bed and brought his hands to my shoulders. He hesitated for a moment before he brought his lips to meet mine, our lips connected for only a few seconds, but it was enough. 

"Listen to me," he said as he drew back, while staring at me with unblinking eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere, but even if I do-"

"Serkan!" I shouted and his grip around me tightened reassuringly.

"Even if I do Eda, I need you to promise me that you'll take care of yourself," I could feel the tears glaze my eyes.

"That you won't do anything stupid," I gripped his hands tighter, not knowing what to say.

"Last but not the least, never cry, only smile when you look back upon how you brought colour into Serkan Bolat's life, Tamam?" he smiled a sad smile and that was enough to send me over the edge, I was crying in his arms and he just held me down, whispering words of solace in my ear and I knew that the pain was too much for him, but at that moment, I was too tired to think about what he was going through, I needed a shoulder to cry on, and he was mine.

"Promise me you'll do that for me," he said as he stroked my hair.

 "Serkan I-"

"Promise me Eda, please," he begged, this was hurting him as much as it was hurting me.

"I'll try," I responded a minute later, and I meant it.

"I guess that has to do for now," he said to himself as he nuzzled my head on his lap. I just lay there, seeking comfort in him, I had bared my soul in front of him and he knew everything about me now. I felt free from all the troubles of the world, it was as if a big weight had been lifted off my shoulder. 

"I'm scared too Eda," he confessed slowly, after what felt like an hour. I didn't say anything as I figured that he'd tell me when he was ready. I looked up at his face but he was looking into the distance, lost in his thoughts.

"I can't imagine being away from you ever again, I know I don't remember a lot and I can't explain it very well Eda..." he trailed off.

"But I feel like I'm missing a part of myself when I'm away from you and I don't even know what it is! It hurts so much, I can actually feel the pain in my heart," he said and I closed my eyes, I didn't want him to see me cry. 

"That's why I want to marry you Eda, I don't want to waste any time, we've already lost enough!" he said with fervour and I felt my heart race when I noticed his use of present tense. After all the baggage I came with, after me being such an emotional wreck, after seeing me at my absolute lowest he still wanted to marry me. I felt a single tear escape my eyelid.

"Then let's do it Serkan, let's do it now," I said as I sat up and wiped my tears. I watched as his eyebrows knit together, he took a few seconds before getting his words in.

"Do what?" he asked confusedly, still not able to process what I was saying.

"Let's get married Serkan, today, right now."