Plant Kisses On My Scars

what are we?

Eliana,
I have so much I want to say to you, but I can't seem to say a word. Because the fear that I will fall for you and you will leave is haunting me. So, for now, I'm keeping my distance because I know I can't have you.

I bike away from the Scaturro house after I'm done my day of work, today was a rough day and although I probably have no right to be, I am really upset after seeing Matteo be so intimate with Giselle. I mean they are married, but why did seeing him with her make my heart ache. I pedal fast so I get home on time.

The cold fresh night air rushes past my skin and the soft moonlight reflects down at my eyes. It's a nice night out, so calm and quiet. And after the day I had it was exactly what I needed. I bike past the "morning lavender" coffee shop and immediately think of Amelia I felt bad because I hadn't stayed in touch with her for a while. I had become very busy with work and well Matteo... I then bike through the town and eventually make it to my street. I get to my house and park my bike leaned up against the garage.

I step inside and hear chatter coming from the living room. I walk in to find my dad with his friends that he hangs out with at the club. There is five older men all smoking cigarettes sitting talking on the couch. There's something about older men that give me anxiety, probably because I assume there all like my dad, and if my dad's hanging out with them, they can't be great people. I see splatters of cocaine on the glass table and realize that this could get ugly. My dad has always been an alcoholic since my mom left but recently, he's began doing drugs as well. And sometimes he's high and drunk at the same time which is beyond horrifying. So normally when he's like this I leave the house or lock myself in my room until morning.

"Who's this pretty girl." One of the men say as they finally notice my presence.

"Eliana go upstairs." My dad says.

Before I go upstairs, I am shocked as to the look this friend of my dad gives me. He looks me up and down devouring me with each scan of my body. I feel myself getting uneasy. This man must be triple my age. I'm only a 23-year-old girl and this man looks about 57. How could a man that age look at a young woman in such a dirty way? I quickly run upstairs to avoid any more eye contact.

I'm sitting in my bed reading the book "love at last "that I found in the Scaturro's library when I hear shouting from downstairs. I decide that I should probably leave the house, or this could get ugly. I text Amelia and ask her to hang. Not just because I need to get out of the house, but also because I miss her and she is always able to cheer me up when i'm down.

Hey, Amelia can I come over right now?

*sent*

Hey, it's been way too long! Yes, come over we can go to Sandy Williams party it's going to be huge.

Although I'd much rather just go biking with Ameila or go night swimming or something, it's better than staying home so I put on a dress for the party do my makeup and walk downstairs quietly trying to avoid any confrontation. I tiptoe down the stairs holding my black heels in my other hand. I manage to get past the men but when I open the door the same creepy man from before is having a smoke outside. I try to walk past him, but he grabs my arm.

"Where do you think you're going dressed like that." He says with a smirk. Looking me up and down again.

"I'm just hanging with a friend, let me go I don't know you." I say trying to pull away from his tight grasp.

"A girl with sass I like it, you would be exactly my type when I was your age. I think you should change, the boys are going to get some ideas with a short dress like that."

I start to get the same uneasy feeling from before.

"Let me go." I say with a firm voice. Trying to hide the fact that I am terrified.