Plant Kisses On My Scars

you're my map.

Matteo,

Something about you made me feel a little more alive and far less lost. For darling without you I'm just a lost soul without a map.

I wake up the next morning, its stormy out and I hear the drops of rain against the shutters. I immediately think about Eliana and the moment we shared last night under the stars. Although I had a great time yesterday, I can't help but feel a bit confused, I'm supposed to get married and I'm feeling this way about another girl. In the end this would probably never work out, and if she feels the same way as I do, wont we both just get hurt in the end? She already has a strange sadness surrounding her and I would hate to make it worse. But the real question is, am I falling for Eliana. No way it's too early.

I eventually brush away all the questions flooding my head and go downstairs for breakfast. I walk into the kitchen and the cold tiles press against my bare feet. I sit down as my mother makes breakfast for me and Ivy. I stare at the wall and get distracted until Ivy taps on my shoulder.

"Yes Ivy?" I ask

"Where were you last night?"

I pause and realize I must've been gone for a suspiciously long time, and that night I promised to go night swimming with Ivy.

"I'm sorry Ivy I completely forgot about our swim. I was just on a bike ride."

Oh yeah with who?" She says raising an eyebrow.

"It was just me." I say wishing their was food on the table I could pick at instead of staring at her awkwardly.

"Liar I was on the balcony when you got back and heard a girl laughing. Who were you with Matteo?"

"Why were you up that late Ivy I got back way past your bedtime." I ask, smoothly changing the subject.

"Thats beside the point, who was the girl? Ivy says with a jump. Her chair rattles.

I pause and pretend to ignore her until she smacks my leg under the table.

"Matteo answer me!"

I finally give in.

"I was with Eliana okay happy?"

She looks at me confused at first and then a big smile forms on her face.

"Why were you out so late with Eliana?"

Well, she had a bad day, so I took her to see the stars outside of town away from the lights."

"Oo I didn't know you were romantic! Do you like her be honest? I always catch you staring at her."

"Stop Ivy and I am not sure." I say looking down.

"Well, it sure seems like it Ive never seen you look at Giselle the way you look at her. I don't blame you she looks like a Disney princess, and I like her much more than Giselle she helped me pick out a dress and is always so kind to me."

She continues,

"Just because mom wants you to marry Giselle doesn't mean you have to."

I pause for a second.

"You've been watching too many fairytales . I laugh.

Mom then comes to the table with a tray of toast eggs and fruit. She places it on the table before giving me and Ivy a strange look.

"What are you two giggling about."

"Nothing." We both say in sync.

She walks away with a half-smile and steps into the garden. I can already hear Giselle going on about her wedding dress outside.