trouble

25

this is what you get for cheating

i could've left her you know? but that would be really difficult to do. not because i think she's gonna make me feel like shit if i try, but because i've worked so hard to get her how she is.

i worked hard on her, showing her love, giving her love, all that hoping she'll become at least somewhat less of a bitch than she was before.

it did work i can tell you that.

our relationship is weird though. whenever i'm the one being clingy she's the one being a bitch. now it's the opposite, i have a reason why though. she never did.

"i love you" billie whispered while kissing the top of my head.

as much as i wanted to say it back, i didn't respond to her.

"jayden" she said in sad tone. "i love you"

i still didn't say anything. i rolled over so my
back was facing her. billie scooted closer to me,
her body touching mine again.

"do you still love me?" billie asked me sadly. "you've been weird..."

"billie, i just wanna sleep right now" i turned around so i was facing her now. "i don't wanna talk"

"just say it back... please"

"i love you too" i said while placing a soft kiss on her neck.

-

"you're not even paying attention to me" billie let her hand fall on my leg.

"sorry" i mumbled and sighed.

she was talking about something. i dont remember what it was though because i zoned the fuck out after she said like... two words.

"am i annoying you?" she asked me quietly.

"uh no" i looked at her.

"it seems like i am" she said sadly. "i'll stop t-"

"i never said you were annoying me" i cut her off while shaking my head.

"baby" she whimpered. "what's wrong? you've been so distant lately"

i sent her a look. "nothings wrong" i chuckled.

does she not remember she CHEATED

she let out a little sigh and laid her head on my lap. i began stroking her hair but she stopped me to hold my hand.

she kissed the back of it and kept holding onto me.

"baby?" she spoke quietly.

"hmm?"

"why are you still with me?" billie asked me. "i've done so many hurtful things to you"

"because i'm a dumbass" i said.

billie looked up at me as she rolled on her back, her head still on my lap. "what do you mean?" she asked me.

"i'm a dumbass for letting you do all that shit to me" i told her. "i love you... i'm in love with you still even after all the stuff you do"

"but why though?" billie said quietly.

"you know what bil" i sighed. "i'm not in the mood to talk about this right now. ima go home"

"you're gonna leave?" she looked at me with a sad expression.

"yeah" i got up from her bed and walked towards her door.

as i was about to open it billie grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her body. she grabbed my face and gave me a kiss.

"bye baby" she said quietly with a sad tone. "i love you"

i wrapped my arms around her neck. "i love you too" i whispered in her ear while placing a kiss on her cheek.

she walked me out and watched me leave.

the drive to my house was pretty quick. lucky greeted me like always when i enter.

"hi boy" i cooed while petting him. "i missed you!"

he jumped up and tackled me down with him. it took my a while to get lucky off of me. he's such a needy fucking dog but at the same time he doesn't want me touching him sometimes.

i went to my room and threw myself on to my bed.

should i take another nap?

yes

when i was about to put my phone down it started ringing. all i wanna do is take another nap and there's always something that stops me from doing so.

"hello?" i said with an annoyed tone.

"oh sorry" she told me. "sorry i'll call you later then... you sound annoyed"

"no it's fine" i sighed and chuckled. "i just wanna take a nap but you stopped me!"

"i'll let you take your nap" jazzy giggled.

"you wanna come over?" i asked her. "we can take a nap together"

"yeah i'll be there in a bit" jazzy said. "better be warm for me when i get there"

"aight" i smiled. "my bed and i are waiting for you"