The thorn killer

Maximum security, my ass

I'm in L.A. one of the best places in the world. Ugh it is so gross. There are tan people everywhere and my pale ass sticks out like a sore thumb. Then their is the sunshine. Just awful, and so shitty. But I am here and determined to find my parents. I figured out that the "Maximum security prison" is pelican bay state prison. I know sound " so scary" right. It sounds like seguels go there for vacation but it is supposed to be super hard to break into. CHALLENGE EXCEPTED. I have a plan. It is pretty simple. I am going to steal a guards badge and pretend to be them. Then simply walk in and find the file room. There should be information about my parents.

It is 9:00 pm, I am doing a stack out. I got my popcorn and my candies all ready for me. I know who brings that shit to a prison when you can't even have food in there. DUH, I am going to eat it all before I go in. I am not stupid. Anyway, the guard is walking to her car,now is my moment to become an actor. Hope I got those special talents. I walk up to her and say," excuse me miss I am not sure where I am. I'm not from here and think I got lost. I am trying to find bay hotel. Can you help me?" Now I did my research and learned that bay hotel was right in front of me. So, my good friends that must mean she will look that wY and point to the direction. Or so I thought. She simply says, " I am sorry miss but, I just moved here and am not familiar with where everything is at." I mumbled under my breath, " well, bitch your no help." She heard me. But before she can even ask or glance my way I hit her upside the head with my gum I hide from her. For a guard she was not that bright, oh well. She falls down but I catch her barely. Man, this girl is a little heavy. I've got to start lifting weights. I tuck her into her car with her head back, sun glasses on and music on. I grab her badge. Know here is the thing. I stalked this guard. I had to find one that look decently like me. And dude, it looks like we could be doppelgängers or at the very least sisters. Now here comes the hard part I take her outfit off her and put it on me. And let me tell you it was not easy. She was a bitch to get clothes off of. Glad I am not her boyfriend. His name Is carder. Yes,I know her boyfriend I was stalking her for like, a week. She also orders coffee every fucking day. Way to much caffeine. Anyway I got her clothes which fit pretty fucking perfectly. I walk to the front of the prison like I own the place. The trick is to look cocky even if your not. I walk through the first metal detector and then they check my ID badge. Once they are done I am aloud to enter the prison. WOW, I would have thought a maximum security would have been harder to break into. I keep walking down the hall till I come across the file room. One problem thought, I might have under estimated them a little bit. The assholes have a fucking guard dog, guard, and a fucking retina scan on the door. All this trouble for a fucking file room. Damn it. I walk up to the guard and flirted. I know, weird first thing to think of in order to get into a room but, I just happen to be very good at it or very bad. Yet, he seems to be falling for it. I flirt. Y ass off then i nudge him to move. I need to get him to a no camera place and not people. I find the bathroom and lead him their. Now he is problem thinking he is gonna get some. To bad, so sad. We get in their and he starts the take his clothes off. I tell him to stop. The I say," sorry about this buddy." Then he is like, " about what gorgeous." Idiot. I then pull out my gun and shoot him in the head execution style. Bullseye bitch! I drag him to a stall and sit him on a toilet. Nobody should find him for a while but, I better hurry. I walk back to the door, then realize the damn thing is a retina scan. So I go back to the guy in the bathroom stall and grab my knife. I pop his eye socket out and cut his eye off of him. I then grabs it and put it in my pocket. And let me tell you folks it was so slimy I almost threw up. But I swallowed it back down and made my way back to the file room. Now there is just the situational the guard dog. Then a brilliant idea just came to me. I run back to the bathroom where the guard is still on the toilet and cut off his finger. It was not easy their is so any ligaments and cartilage in the human finger plus, the bone. But I got it and stuck it in my pocket along with the eye. I go back to the file room and get the dogs attention. I then grab the finger show him it then throw it in the other direction. I then proceeded to get the eye out and put it up to the retina scan. It clicked and the door opens. IT WORKED! I am quite shocked, I thought for sure I was going to set off an alarm and activate something that would either kill me or put me in prison for the Rest of my life. Thank the fucking gods it worked. I walk it and close the door behind me. And look through the files to find the last name thorn. That is kinda a coincidence since I leave roses and vines with thorns behind with my victims. When I saw that that was my last name I kinda freaked out. But I am all good now. I look for Isabelle and hunter thorn. I found them together labeled as.... you guessed it the killer couple. Ding, ding, ding. You win a price. I won't kill you if I get the chance to. Lucky you. Anyway I find out that they killed over 50 people. Way to go mom and dad. How will I ever live up to their legacy. Their signature was they killed couples but only ones that had an abusive relationship. Man they killed so many people and they helped save lives. That is kinda a double standard. But oh well. I then read that they had a third and fourth partner that was never found. I don't know wether I should be mad or happy. Anyway I kept reading and found that they died 5 years ago. Well this kinda fucks up the plan. Guess parent-daughter reunion won't be happening. I am kinda bummed but at least I can find the partners that worked with my parents. It says that they were never caught which most likely means they are still alive. I walk out of the room and close it back up with the file in hand. I walk out of the building undetected. Walk back to that ladies car, I stole the badge from and put a rose in her throat. I also did the same to they guy I killed in the bathroom. Off to find the people that worked with my parents.