𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐞 ~ 𝐍𝐢𝐚𝐦

𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

I rummaged through my closet looking for the suit that I only wore to work as I was a tour guide for the museum I worked for and they always scolded me for what I used to wear, apparently I wasn't presentable enough for them so they gave me a suit to wear

I finally found it but it was unfortunately in the washing machine, all damp and disgusting. I wanted to cry but I couldn't so I collected it and put it on not allowing the tears to fall. The clock on the wall caught my eye and I realised if I didn't leave now I'd be late for work. I practically ran to the train station and luckily I made it on time

I did my regular thing of heading to the last carriage and sitting at the table seats just like the other two from yesterday, they were both in their regular spots doing their regular things except there was now one new regular thing I'd be doing on the train now

Waiting for Niall to come

But I had no idea if he was ever going to take this train again. I tried to stop thinking of Niall, my most effective way of forgetting things was listening to music so I searched my pockets. Both. multiple times but I forgot my headphones. I closed my eyes trying my hardest not to snap at the slightest things now. I pulled my phone out to scroll through Instagram but that was when I saw the percentage

4%

I clenched my jaw and breathed heavily

"Why is nothing going my way today" I whispered to myself

"Are you okay?" I heard an Irish voice speak. I spun my head thinking it was Niall however the only thing I saw was the young lady handing out the snacks

She's Irish?

"Yeah I'm fine, I just left my headphones at home so I won't be able to listen to music on the way to work," I told her leaving out every other part which was wrong

"Oh okay" She smiled politely then nodded towards the toilets 

"Can I make your day better?" She now smiled seductively but it didn't work. 1 she wasn't very good at it and 2 I'm gay

"I- I'm gay" I blurted out

"What?" She asked confused

"I'm gay" I spoke clearer this time

She rolled her eyes and walked away whispering in a sarcastic tone of voice

"Course you are"

I sighed and looked out the window there was nothing good outside, honestly, it was mostly dark because of the tunnels we went through. I had gotten more bored by the seconds letting me alone with my own mind. Which is a terrible thing to do. I was trying to think of a way to get rid of these thoughts and then it came to me

Song lyrics

I do that when I'm bored, I think of songs lyrics that will never turn into a song. But I needed to write a song about someone. I immediately thought of Niall but he was the thing I was trying to get off my mind. I gave in and started thinking

"You're insecure" I whispered to myself attempting to think of the next lyric

"Don't know what for" I whispered once again

"You're turning heads when you walk through the..." I started thinking

"Wall?" I thought but didn't think it sounded right

"Door?" I again thought

"You're turning heads when you walk through the door" I smiled to myself. I was actually sounding quite nice

Then I couldn't think of anything. Nothing was coming to my head. I rested my head on the back of the seat and just waited for the train ride to be over

It wasn't long until the train came to a stop and I got off but I felt a little weird, a little light. That's when I noticed. I forgot my bag. The one thing I needed. It had everything I needed to even get into the museum

I shouted. I actually shouted. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I had a terrible breakfast in the morning, I accidentally liked Niall's post, I had like no sleep last night, My back was in pain, I'm wearing a damp suit, I had no headphones for the train, My phone was going to die, I left my bag at home and now I had to find somehow to get into work

I looked crazy but I couldn't care less

I walked out of the train station and onto the pavement near the road. I noticed a bench beside me so I sat there. I sat there and waited for my shift to be over. I wasn't going to work, I was too much of a mess to go

"I'm going to be sitting here for 7 hours," I told myself. The time was 4 and I finished work at 10 pm but my train leaves at 11 pm

=================

After many hours of waiting the time came for the train to arrive. I was begging that the train wasn't cancelled but it probably was by the way my day were currently going

Luckily, the train arrived it was a bit late but I was just happy that the train arrived at all. I headed to the end carriage and to my regular seat, I had no bag today so I sat next to the window and stared outside of it wishing my life was better. I wished that my best friend would stop being a criminal, I wished my ex-boyfriend would also stop being a criminal and hanging out with my only friend so much, I wished I had more friends, I wished I had a nicer apartment in London, I wished I had a loving family, I wished I had someone to comfort me, I wished someone loved me, I wished someone would smile at me happily, I wished I had a boyfriend

I wished I had Niall