HIRAETH - P. PEVENSIE (2)

XVI. Eccedentesiast

Eccedentesiast - someone who hides pain behind a smile.

❦

Her entire world had collapsed in a few words. But six months later, she was given a gift; Caspian Peter Edmund Pevensie. Her son. Peter's son. Another child he would never meet.

She had considered naming him Peter, for his late father, but decided instead to name him as if Peter was still alive. They had decided - together - to name their son Caspian. So she did. She showered him and Marie with love and stories of their dead family members, doing the best she could to make sure they knew they were loved. They knew.

Susan no longer believed. Her family's death was the last straw. Any time Lilith brought up Narnia, Susan would brush her off and tell her grief was getting to her. It was, but her stories of Narnia weren't the problem.

There had been nothing to put in the caskets, but there were graves anyway. Lilith took Marie and Caspian to visit every week, and left letters the first time they went. It had hurt. She cried every time they went, but it felt necessary.

And so, life went on. Lilith was never the same, but she lived. She ate and slept - not well, but still - to set an example for her children. She sent them off to school when it was time, and she spent her days either working or visiting Susan. She found it hard to be alone; her thoughts were able to take over then. So she surrounded herself with people. She had photo albums full of pictures, which sat in the living room for anyone who wanted to look at them. She let Marie read a copy of A Tale of Two Cities that Peter had gotten her. There were notes and annotations in it, which Lilith hadn't remembered until she found Marie crying over them. Cas never wanted anything to do with the love, but he enjoyed the stories of Narnia as a child. Marie sang him the song sometimes. Lilith had to leave the room any time she started. It simply hurt too much.

Lilith had always told Peter how much he and Marie looked alike, but Caspian was the spitting image of his father. As he got older, Lilith began to find it hard to look at him too long. Not that she had to. She only lived until he was fourteen anyway.

It had been in December, right before Marie turned twenty and Caspian fifteen. She went on a walk in the park at night. Marie and Caspian were at their aunt's house, where they spent about half of their time anyway. Lilith had hugged and kissed them extra hard before she went out. She knew it was her time. Aslan had begun to come to her in dreams, beckoning her to follow him. So she finally did.

He appeared before her just as she sat down on a bench.

"Aslan?" she called, reaching her hand out to touch His mane. She could really feel it. He was actually there. Tears sprang to her eyes. "Already?"

He nodded sadly. "It is time."

"But Marie - and-and-and Caspian-"

"You have raised them with all the love possible, my dear," He said softly. "They will remember you fondly."

"I'm not ready to leave them."

"You are."

She took in a shaky breath and closed her eyes. "Will I see Peter again?"

"You will."

She nodded and opened her eyes, small tears leaking from the corners. "How do we get there?"

"Close your eyes once more."

She obeyed, flinching a little when she felt a soft breeze pick her hair up off of her shoulders. The scent of flowers filled her nose as the breeze died off. Her eyes opened of their own accord and she gasped when she looked around. She was in a large meadow, flowers and trees and bugs all around her. Her coat and dress had turned into a lovely lavender dress, not unlike the kind she had worn in Narnia.

Narnia.

She was home again. All she needed was her husband.

"Lilith?"

She turned at someone's voice, only to see Peter standing beside one of the trees. Her eyes filled with tears once again as she realized he only looked eighteen. He must have returned to a younger age when he was brought here. Was she?

"This is another dream."

"It is no dream," she said softly, startling him. "I'm really here, Peter."

"Lilith," he said again, breaking into a run. He swept her up in his arms, spinning her around and around as he chanted her name.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed into his neck. He shook his head and soothed her, though it didn't exactly work. "I should never have let you go. You should have been able to stay and meet your son."

"Shh, shh," he whispered, his hand smoothing over her hair. "I watched, and I read the letters, my love. I know him. You did so well, Lil. So incredibly well. I've always said you were strong, but I had no idea until I was gone."

She sobbed harder, her hands making fists in the back of his shirt. She couldn't form coherent thoughts, let alone a sentence, so she just let her husband hold her tight and calm her down. Her siblings and parents began to slowly come in, but Peter refused to let her go, so she smiled at them tearfully over his shoulder.

She was home.

She was home.

She is home.

❦

tiny baby chapter. but also final chapter.

thank you for 1k reads on selcouth! you all mean the world to me. 

i am making a third book! lucky you guys lol. i'll introduce it next chapter. 

i hope you have a great day/evening!

- cecily <3