HIRAETH - P. PEVENSIE (2)

VI. Kakorrhaphiophobia

Kakorrhaphiophobia - the fear of failure.

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Fear was something almost everyone felt. We've all had at least a little bit of it, whether we remember it or not. How we handle it is a totally different conversation. Some cry, come lash out, some make jokes at their own expense. Which is better? That depends on the person.

Peter was the type to lash out. As with his fighting, emotions such as embarrassment and failure often got him angry. He was scared of both, which resulted in his anger. He would hit people, ignore them, say rude and personal things. It depended on who he was lashing out at. He never meant to be rude. It was just how he was taught to deal with those negative emotions.

"What happened?"

They had been walking for a while. Lilith's side hadn't stopped bleeding nor hurting, but there was nothing to be done about it. Her feet were sore and her eyes puffy. Peter clutched tightly to her right hand as he held the hilt of his sword with the other. Caspian walked on her other side, staring intensely at the ground. Lilith wanted to see if he was alright, but asking would open the conversation to hostility. Luckily, Lucy had done it for her.

"Ask him," Peter spat beside her. She squeezed his hand, turning her face to see him better. He looked angry.

"Peter-"

"Me?" Caspian stopped in his tracks. "You could've called it off, there was still time."

Peter stopped too, turning to look at him. "No there wasn't, thanks to you. If youd've stuck to the plan, those soldiers might be alive right now."

"And if we had stayed here like I suggested they definitely would!"

"You called us, remember?"

Caspian's jaw locked, his eyes hard. "My first mistake."

"No," Peter tugged Lilith's hand, trying to pull her towards the How. "Your first mistake was thinking you could lead these people." Even Lilith thought that was a little harsh. She could see that Caspian had a lot of self doubt, and the others coming here to take his spotlight hadn't helped.

"Hey!" Caspian yelled, color rising in his cheeks. "I am not the one who abandoned Narnia!"

"You invaded Narnia! You have no more rights here than Miraz does!" Peter jabbed his finger in Caspian's face as he began to walk away. "You, him, your father! Narnia's better off without the lot of you!" She wanted to hit him a little bit. Her emotions were running high, as were everyone else's', but she wasn't insulting someone's dead father!

Caspian let out a loud cry as he drew his sword from his scabbard, Peter doing the same. Lilith backed away from him as he almost hit her in the face with it. He didn't even seem to notice her leaving. Her side began to hurt more, though she was too busy trying to figure out how to get the boys from fighting to notice. 

"Stop!" Edmund was lifting Trumpkin down from one of the horses, resting him gently on the ground. The dwarf had fought bravely until he was knocked down, whereupon someone had grabbed him and gotten him to safety. Now, Lucy rushed over with her healing cordial as the boys lowered their swords. She knelt by his head and poured a drop in his open mouth, hardly breathing in fear he wouldn't wake. A gasping breath showed he would, and she watched him as he opened his eyes.

"What are you all standing about for? The Telmarines will be here soon enough," he said, looking around at the small crowd encircling him. Susan and Lucy shared a smile. Before Lucy could quite rise to a standing position, he grabbed her arm. "Thank you, my dear little friend." Lilith chuckled at the re-use of Lucy's own nickname for the dwarf, but sucked in a breath as the pain in her side worsened. Susan glanced at her worriedly. Lilith only shook her head and gritted her teeth, turning around to look at her husband and friend. Peter was watching his family, Caspian stalking off into the How with Nikabrik in tow. She watched him go sadly before a bolt of pain shot into the wound, making her groan and bend over. Her hand moved to cover it as her face scrunched up in pain. Susan rushed over and put a hand on her back, bending over to be at eye level.