What was left behind

29| We're doing this

Just like that, all the anger is gone and I melt into his arms.

:::

Something is different. Even with all the drama of the night, he holds nothing back with this kiss. I have no idea what he said to his dad, but when he came down the stairs, I expected to see anger and agitation. Instead, I saw relief and acceptance.

As he pulls me over the console, my heart fills with hope and my body floods with desire. Grinding against him is almost a religious experience. I can blame that comparison on 5 months of no action.

He pulls away, replacing desire with disappointment.  Although he tries to reassure me with a caress of the cheek, I'm still afraid that tomorrow we're going to go back to pretending to not love each other.

"It's getting late. I should get going." He says softly.

"Or you could stay?" I try my best to give him a confident smile. One that says, I know you won't reject me. But as I turn and walk toward the door, a shiver of fear escapes me. I'm too scared to turn around to see if he's following me. I try to listen for a car door closing, but it's pointless because all I can hear is my heartbeat. My shaky hands make it difficult for me to get my key into the door. Suddenly, a warm large hand covers mine and guides my key into the lock.

My head falls back against his chest. "I wasn't sure if you were going to come."

We unlock the door and walk inside. I hang up my keys on the rack and turn around.

His eyes trail me up and down. I can feel the electricity buzzing between us and it's almost overwhelming. I want to cower, but instead I bite my lip and stare right back.

His chest rises and falls to match his heavy breathing. I take in a deep breath when my eyes meet the intensity of his. The little light shining in the room reflects off his eyes making them sparkle, but it still doesn't hide his predatory glance.

"I didn't even have to think about it." He acknowledges my previous statement with a whisper before walking over to me. He holds the back of my neck in his hands. "You and I are inevitable. I don't know why I even fought it."

My breath catches in my throat.

"I spent too long holding myself back from the things I want." Our foreheads meet and neither one of us make a move. We just stand there, our breaths in sync, his touch burning, and my eyes never leaving his. That is until, he licks his lower lip.

I really want to kiss those lips. But I can't. Not yet.

"I always thought I didn't deserve anything good, but tonight I realize that was all a lie. I'm giving myself permission to be happy. You. Us. Our family. That's what makes me happy."

"What are you saying?" I turn away from him, trying to hide my smile. Just in the off chance I'm misinterpreting him, but I don't think I am.

"I'm not fighting this anymore." He promises.

I whip around and my eyebrows raise. "We're doing this?"

"We're doing this." He says against my lips right before they meet.

Heat surges through my whole body, causing me to lose all control.

The goddess is being unleashed.

Somehow I've managed to get his shirt off and unbutton his pants as we stumble to the bedroom.

He pulls away breathlessly. "Sarah, we don't need to rush. I'm not going anywhere." Although that may be true, I can't wait any longer. His glossy eyes, swollen lips, messy hair, and a hardened bulge that needs to be set free, fuels me. I did that to him. And I want to do more.