Liar

Chapter 32

My eyes opened. And it was almost painful. I was on my bed when I woke up, dizzy and tried sitting up in bed. It was dark out and I knew what happened. I lie back down. I wasn't doing the best and it showed.

It was darker outside, signaling evening. Getting up, I felt my body sort of lean downward, like pressure. Why did my only friend feel the necessity to trash me that way? And what was so hard was I would miss her. We supported eachother and it was hard to just let that system of support we had go.

I walked carefully downstairs and looked around. I got some water first and walked over to the living-room. Keith looked up at me and beckoned me forward. He looked concerned, which wasn't rare considering I passed out often these days.

I tucked my head into the crook of his neck as I sat and lie in his arms. Trying to keep my thoughts neutral and my feelings in check was difficult but doable. The last thing I needed was to pass out again. " How are you feeling?"

" As long as I'm not really thinking or feeling anything I think passing out shouldn't be a problem. " frustrated, I sighed deeply " But that's hard sometimes, love. I'm human and I feel things. It's part of my existance, y'know?" He nodded.
" My dad told me about what happened. About what happened earlier and what happened to you." Freezing, I said nothing back.

I realized that what was happening wasn't at all my fault, but feeling ashamed of myself was almost an instinct. " There's nothing for you to be ashamed of. And if that was why you were so hesitant to do anything more, I would've understood you."

I leaned farther into him, wanting the comfort of his warmth and security " I barely remember it. I blocked those memories out, but the effects they had on me never went away." He held me tighter and sighed.

" Do you remember the first time we tried to have sex?" He looked away and nodded.

I squeezed his hand and continued " I told you to stop and I cried. All of that shame hit me right then and there and I couldn't fight against it. I even bound my chest for that whole first year."

Looking into my eyes he affirmed and pushed my hair out of my face " Yeah. I could tell something was off but I wasn't sure of what it was."

" I was taught that sex was shameful and used as blackmail, no matter how good it may have felt. But I was wrong. And so was my father." He nodded

" Now, I enjoy sex. I crave it even. But I was reluctant to even let you touch me but I never wanted to tell you that. It sounds bitchy with no context. But I wasn't ready to face my past and I didn't want to relive-" I closed my eyes. I couldn't continue. I let out a ragged sigh that ended up with my tears spilling down my face.

Keith hugged me closer and kissed my face. He wasn't as critical of me as I was myself and he always accepted me. " Sex is wonderful, Zoey. I'm sorry that it was used to manipulate and hurt you." I nodded, trying to keep the tears out of my eyes.

" I guess without you, I wouldn't know that sex was so many amazing things and not a weapon."

He planted a warm kiss over my lips. I took his warm lips in my own and pulled back. Biting his bottom lip was a dangerous game, because he knew what I wanted when I did that. I squealed as he pushed me back onto the couch and straddled me.

He left kisses on my neck and my vision was sparking but I didn't care. I loved him and I trusted him a lot for the cards I got in life. Soon enough, we were naked and having sex on the couch with nothing to cover us. It was amazing but thank goodness we put plastic over them, because things went left and got very messy...
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I slipped out from under Keith. He was still sound asleep and very naked. I warmed the waffle if on and got some eggs ready for us. I put on my thong and house pants but was okay with my bare top. The air was getting warmer anyway.

I got out the glass bottle of syrup and some strawberries had to be chopped. I set out our plates and walked back into the living room. Keith's clothes were on the floor but that was it. I picked them up and walked upstairs to our bedroom. The water was running in the shower. I put his clothes in the laundry basket and slipped my thong off. Picking up my wash cloth, I walked into the steamy hot shower. " I was waiting for you to join."

" I was making breakfast. I hope you don't mind." A soft chuckle escaped his lips and I smiled
" It's fine. And thanks."
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There wasn't lots of chatter at breakfast since it was only the two of us. His father was basically mine, his mother refused to accept that we were married and His half-brother and adoptive mother didn't care. They had much better responses than my parents by far who hadn't had any. I still felt guilty. My mom was tormented that night and couldn't handle the fact that she didn't know I was suffering. I burned the note that was already etched in my memory horrifically. Thinking of it made me feel hopeless. If I continued to feel this way, I wouldn't ever move forward and It was evident where not moving forward got me.

" Hey, I know you're thinking but you have to eat." I agreed and began eating my eggs again.
" Places have opened again. Do you wanna go out on a date with me?" Why did that make me blush so hard and laugh? It was so casual but unusual. We had been home together for a while and the pandemic was easing away from our area. I nodded, looking back at him. " Yeah. Do you know any places that have good cake?" He chuckled, also nodding. We sat very close, my legs over his lap and his arm around my shoulders. " I'll make sure. Lemon or Blue velvet?"

" Blue velvet." I responded, excited. I shoved more food in my mouth so he wouldn't complain that I was using our time to forget about eating. " Also we didn't get to do a lot when I proposed and since places are open I still wanted us to get something. Together."

" You also promised to start teaching me magic today. And not in bed." I reminded. He nodded, agreeing.
" I will teach you basics tonight, if you're up to it." Rolling my eyes, I hit him. He just laughed, as my hits were very weak.

He was very aware that I was up to it.