Fall in Love Along the Way

Weeks 9-14

I started a routine. For my job I had always had to get up a six, and so I still always woke up then. I'd make coffee in the Keurig (Sam liked the all natural blend, Dean preferred donut shop) and take it into the rooms, quietly setting it beside their beds. They always left their doors partway open, just in case I needed them during the night. Then, I'd make breakfast and sometimes put in a load of laundry. Sam was usually up by then, and he'd help me and we'd eat together. Dean would get up a little later and reheat his breakfast before eating. Then I'd shower and clean up a little around the house, then hang out with Sam and Dean, or read, or watch movies, or go into town with them.

On Friday morning, Sam got up early to help me make breakfast. "Want me to do bacon?" he asked, getting a frying pan out and the bacon from the fridge.

"Yes please," I said with a small smile. I was currently mixing up blueberry pancakes. "How'd you sleep?"

"Okay," he said with a small smile at me. "I was up a lot though. I think it was the storm."

I nodded. "Yeah," I agreed. "That probably kept Dean up too."

He nodded. "Probably," he said. "How'd you sleep?"

"You know how pregnant ladies are supposed to have weird dreams?" I said. "Yeah. That's ringing really true."

"Really?" he said with a small laugh.

"Yeah," I said, chuckling and mixing the pancakes. "I had a dream that a huge dinosaur was chasing me down the street. And I was holding a little baby in my arms."

"Huh," he said. "That's...interesting."

I shrugged. "It was strange," I said. "It felt like a nightmare for some reason."

-

Dean sat beside me on the couch with his computer. I was watching reruns of Friends and reading some lore book.

"So," he said. "This website I found, it...it uh...compares baby products."

I looked over as he opened the lid of the laptop. "This baby holder is supposed to be the safest one, and it comes in blue and pink and yellow and green, in case you want a gender neutral color, and you can hook a little mobile thing to it to keep the baby entertained..." He was using his hands to talk. He looked...excited.

I tried to hide my smile as I looked at him. "What?" he said, suddenly kind of defensive.

"We've got 31 weeks until this baby comes," I said, touching my stomach. I let my smile bloom across my face.

"It's never too early to start," Dean said, looking back at his computer. "So, do you like gendered colors?"

I shook my head. "No," I said, deciding to humor him and let him do baby stuff. "I like yellow."

"It comes in that." He showed me a picture.

"Does it zip up?" I asked. "This baby'll be born in the winter."

He nodded. "Yeah," he said. "Don't worry. I also found newborn coats."

I smiled. "Let's see them," I said.

-

An hour and a half later, Dean and I had coats, carriers, cribs, and blankets on the wish list.

"Okay," I said with a smile. "I'm gonna go make lunch. What do you want?"

"I think Sam needs to go to the store," he said. "Make him take you out." He smiled a little.

"Want anything?" I asked. "I'm gonna make him take me to Steak 'n Shake."

Dean nodded. "Bring me a burger," he said.

"Okay," I said. "I'll go find him." I stood, but turned back around to him. "Thanks for the shopping." I hugged him, and he hugged me back after a second.

I found Sam in the library. "Can I go into town with you?" I asked. "Dean wants a burger."

"Sure," Sam said, looking up at me. "Let's go."

-

We dropped by the store and then got lunch. After we'd put in our orders, Sam said, "So, what about your parents?"

I looked away. "Well," I said slowly. "My mom is dead. She died when I was 16. And my dad is in prison. He's serving life."

"I'm so sorry," Sam said. "I didn't mean to-"

I shook my head. "It's okay," I said. "And I know what you're wondering. She was in a bad car accident. We didn't have enough money to pay all the hospital bills piling up for keeping her alive on life support. My dad committed armed robbery in four different banks. But during his fourth one, she just let go. I think she knew what he was doing and didn't want to make him keep doing it." I paused, sighing softly. "And yeah, he did kill. Two bank attendants."

"Wow," he said softly. "I'm so sorry. So...after that, you were just...parentless?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I said. "I bounced around between a few orphanages, didn't like the taste of foster care, and then took my parent's leftover money and went to college."

"I know what it's like," he said after a few moments. "I don't have any parents, either."

I nodded slowly, looking down at my hands. "I'm sorry about that," I said softly.

He reached across the table and gave my hand a soft squeeze. "It's okay."

-

When we got up to leave, I felt dizzy and almost fell over. Sam caught my arm. "Woah," he said. "You okay?"

I nodded, leaning against the booth as it subsided. "Yeah," I said. "Yeah. I'm fine. The book said this was normal."

"What book?" he asked.

"The Pregnancy Bible," I said and we started to walk out. I was acutely aware of him watching me for falling. "I'm reading it," I said. "It helps."

He nodded. "Can I...can I read it?" he asked.

I looked at him, surprised. "Okay," I said. "Um...sure. If you want to, yeah."

He nodded. "Okay," he said. "I'd like to know what's going on. You know. With you."

"Okay," I said.

He gave me a small smile and squeezed my arm.  "Got your sea legs back?" he joked.

I laughed a little and bumped him with my hip.  "Aye, aye, captain," I joked.  He laughed and put his arm around my shoulder, a protective, caring movement.  I smiled up at him, and he smiled back down at me; our smiles might've been small and seemingly unimpactful, but then, he, Dean, and the small bean in my stomach were the only people in my life.  And Dean and he cared so much, I could almost taste it.  Shoulder touches, making bacon, baby shopping; all of it radiated powerfully to me how genuinely they cared.  And that was what got me through those first few months.