In My Head ❌

In My Head Part-30

"Simon...you know Dec didn't mean what he said last night, he was just worried about...."

I cut him off, "I know David but I don't want to make the situation worse than it already is, Dec needs to calm down still and Stephen needs someone to stay here with him; this is really the best option right now."

He nodded still not looking convinced but he gave in moving towards the door as he spoke, "OK Simon I'll be back in a bit I'll call you if I think we need anything."

"Thanks David"

He nodded and left the room closing the door behind him and I settled back in my chair I knew David was right that Dec had just been upset last night but the memory of his words still stung and I bit my lip fighting the guilt that was still building up inside just as the door opened and Alexandra stepped in again accompanied by Stephen's doctor.

Alexandra took a seat in David's empty chair smiling at me as the doctor walked over to Stephen's IV line and pulled out a syringe injecting something into it as he spoke his voice full of warning.

"This will wake him up and allow him to stay awake for a little while, but I will remind you that he needs to stay as calm as possible. If he starts to get agitated or upset you need to stop questioning him and give him a chance to calm down; he's been thorough a lot and he's very weak right now."

"I know you need to do your job Ms. Blake but I need to do mine as well and that means keeping my patient stable and alive understand?"

Alexandra nodded and the doctor turned back towards Stephen who was just starting to stir a little on the bed, "If he has problems or if he won't calm down I need you to press the call button."

We both nodded this time and the doctor returned it with a nod of his own before he straightened up and walked towards the door.

"Very well then but remember what I said..keep him calm."

The doctor's pager went off and he glanced down at it before he walked out of the room closing the door and leaving us alone just as Stephen let out a quite groan and I glanced down to see his eyes opening, small slits of blue appearing as he slowly came around.

Stephen's POV

I felt myself being pulled out of the peaceful darkness and I groaned a little as I attempted to slowly open my eyes, I didn't want to wake up; the darkness felt so good.

"Come on Stephen you can do it it's alright, your alright..."

I frowned at the sound of Simon's voice, he had been really nice earlier which was out of character for him but now I was worried he would be mean again, that he would yell at me. I hadn't meant to hurt myself, I hadn't actually wanted to die but now that I had experienced it; I kind of wanted too.

The darkness had felt so good no pain, no fear, no anxiety, just darkness; if I died I could stay there.

I knew it was wrong to want to die, I mean that was crazy right?

"Mr. Mulhern? Stephen? Can you hear us?"

I flinched at the sound of the new voice I didn't know who this was and her voice was frighteningly close to my head and I jumped a little my eyes flying open as I glanced around the room anxiously; who was she? Was she here to yell at me?

I felt tears stinging my eyes and I squeezed my eyes shut again feeling even worse, here I was crying like a baby yet again; god I was so pathetic no wonder they all hated me.

"It's alright Stephen just relax..."

Simon's voice again and I felt his hand tighten around mine holding gently, that was so odd and unnerving; this was not the Simon I knew and even though the touch was nice and calming I couldn't help feeling slightly uneasy.