A court of Shadows & Blood (An ACOTAR / Azriel fanfiction)

Chapter 16

"What happened?" I questioned. "Don't worry, I just need a few hours of sleep and I will be fit as a fiddle."

"Will you shut up for a moment?" She closed her eyes and concentrated on something. "I-" She licked her lips. "Lily did you-" again, a pause. "Morrigan told me fae don't have children very often." She angrily whispered. "She said it's rare."

I shook her shoulders, "Alcina, what is wrong?" She left me with my confusion and stormed out of the room.

A moment later before I could follow her, she appeared with an very confused Morrigan.

At least someone felt the same as me.

My sister once again climbed onto the bed and frowned angrily at my hand.

Morrigan broke the silence, "What is happening?" She awkwardly glanced at me.

I shrugged before Alcina half yelled. "You told me children are rare in fae!"

"They are." Morrigan nodded, still confused.

"Well, too bad because witches breed like rabbits!" Her voice was laced with anger when she yelled. "I can not believe we are in the middle of a life and death situation and now we have to deal with this." She pointed towards me but I was already too far gone to respond.

Children.

My mind went numb for a long while during which I was aware of a Alcina shouting which bought a sleepy Rhysand and Cassian to the door.

My senses kicked back in when Azriel appeared behind them.

"What is happening? Is everyone okay?" Cassian furrowed his brows and his eyes scanned me from head to toe, possibly looking for an injury.

"No, it isn't! It's-" Morrigam placed a hand on Alcina's shoulder and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

Children.

Then, Morrigan spoke to me, "Lillith, are you okay?" I nodded, my eyes glued to the floor. "Let's talk about it outside, shall we?"
She pressed and Alcina nodded. "Yes. Let's - let's talk about it outside. " She jumped off the bed and mumbled. "Whatever there is to talk."

"Do you want someone to stay with you, Lily?" Alcina held my hand and I automatically shook my head.

Children.

Hesitantly, she left the room, followed closely by Morrigan who closed the door behind herself; pushing Azriel outside with her. I heard him say something but my mind couldn't process it.

It was stuck on one sentence: Witches breed like rabbits.

I suddenly felt the urge to vomit but this time it wasn't related to feeling sick.

Children.

Like a snake rising to attack, something inside of me broke. I curled my fist around the nearest object - a lamp, and threw it against the wall. The anger kept increasing as I smashed things and tore apart the room. Lamps, tables,chairs, flower pots, pictures - all shattered on the walls or on the ground.

I felt less like a person and more like a storm - or maybe, I had been stuck in a storm for so long, I became one with it. Whatever it was, it didn't let me stop until I felt nothingness. Exhaustion swept over me like a wave and I collapsed on the floor.

My breaths were shallow and my arms were burning but I was thankful to not be focussing on my thoughts in that moment as I sat in the middle of the floor. Too exhausted to move, I simply curled up on the hard, cold surface and covered my head with my hands to shut out the banging on the door. Someone was yelling my name, I didn't care who or why.

I just wanted to stay there and and never be talked to again. Eventually, my eyes grew too tired and the numbness engulfed me.

It would have been better if I had died in the fire like mother and father did - was my first thought when I could feel a spread of conciousness.

I felt like I was on a swing, until I realised my head was spinning. Someone had put me in the bed and changed my clothes.

I turned my neck and, as expected, Azriel sat at a chair that was astonishingly still holding up. I simply turned to the other side and focused on my breathing.

Azriel was the first to speak, "Maybe Alcina is wrong?"

"That's her magic, Azriel. Nature, creation. Life." I mumbled.

Another long pause followed during which the drumming of my heart was the only sound I could hear. I was almost sure he could hear it too, when Azriel walked over the bed and climbed onto it. He laid down on his stomach and pushed my hair out of my face while I focused on keeping by breaths even.

My ribs hurt from the force of my heart's violent beating.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

I frowned, "What are you sorry about?"

"I understand that you would not want to have my child. It would be cruel to-" I put my hand on his mouth.

"What makes you think that I don't-" I took a breath to compose myself and sat up. "I do want to have your child. I though you wouldn't want the responsibility of a child."

He removed my hand, "Naturally, you wouldn't want to have my child, I'm a bast-"

Before I could stop myself, I slapped him and the loud smack echoed inside the room.

My hand stung on the impact but I grabbed his shoulder as he stared at me with wide eyes and a red cheek. "You call yourself that and I will do that again. I love you. Do you know what that means? Of course, I want to have your child, Azriel. I'm not upset because it's your child, I'm upset because it's mine. I'm a witch. We are outcasts. We were hunted then and we will be hunted now, if someone knew we were alive. This child will have a witch's blood in it's veins. Besides, you might not want this responsibility. "

"You are going to say I don't call myself what I am, while saying that about yourself?" He smiled faintly.

"It's the truth. I'm the devil's target, they are far more powerful that any fae or witch. Why would anyone want me to bear their children?"

"I want you to have my child." He pulled me closer. "I would be honoured if you would be the mother of my children."

I raised my eyebrows. "Children?"

"I imagine we would have a hoard of them." His smile brightened up every feature on his face as I placed a kiss on his head.

"One day." I whispered.

We remained that way for a long time, my chin on his head and his arms around my waist. Every few seconds, I would feel the heat of his lips through the thin fabric of my dress.

I lazily twirled a dark strand of his hair around my finger when I spoke again, "I don't think we are in the position to have children, azriel."

He tapped his fingers on the side of my waist while he spoke, "My spies are already all over the continent, looking for a shadowsinger. I sent them as soon as I knew."

"Do you think it would be soon enough?" I mumbled.

"It will have to be."

"What if it's not?" I faced him as dread replaced my relief.

"Then, we will have a child, I think it would be a girl and she would have your midnight eyes." He said and I couldn't help but smile. "I have to go. Take care of yourself." He gently ran a hand down my abdomen. "I might kill someone if something happened to my stars."

With one brief kiss, he was gone.