A Second Chance

27

TW's:
-Abuse/bullying
-Mentions suicide attempt
-Mentions death family member
-Obsessive behaviour (OCD)

It was Monday. George was able to go home this midday and my parents allowed me to go to him the whole day if I went to school. I really didn't want to go to school, but I wanted to be with George. I wanted surprise him when he came home and I wanted to maybe even ask him to be my boyfriend if I had the confidence.

I left to go to school, my mum brought me. I really couldn't handle walking outside anymore with my OCD. It took me hours to walk to school and I couldn't take my bike either, I was way to scared for anything that could happen.

My mum arrived at school with me around ten minutes later, I said goodbye to her and I walked in the school. I was so incredibly nervous, it wasn't even normal anymore. I walked in with high lifted shoulders and I looked at the ground as I very slowly walked towards my locker. I stuffed my coat in it and walked towards a bench, sitting down. I didn't dare reading my book, I was too scared. I was mad at my parents, how could they let me go to school. I was so scared.

And everything I was scared for happened quick enough. I got hit randomly in my face and I looked up at Jonny and two of his friends.

'Clay, I really have an important question for you.'

'Uh- sure.'

'What's your biggest wish?'

'Uh-.'

'ANSWER ME.'

'N-no.'

He hit my face again, this time even harder.

'Uh- G-George as my b-boyfriend.'

'Ew, you're gross. Do you want to know my biggest wish?'

'S-sure.'

'You know what it is? My biggest wish is that you kill yourself or that you get hit by a freaking car.'

I felt tears coming up in my eyes and looked at my feet.

'Do you want to know another wish? My other wish is that you will die really painfully and slowly.'

'O-oh, I-I understand.'

'Another wish of mine is that you will lose everyone in your life and you have no one to help you anymore when I beat the shit out of you.'

'I have George.'

He chuckled. 'George, sure. That pussy wasn't even at the volleyball match because he tried killing himself. I'm so sad he survived and I'm even more sad that it was George instead of you. I would have watched you die and never called an ambulance. I would have maybe given you some more pills to swallow so you would die for sure. Do you understand?'

'I u-understand.'

'I would have laughed so hard about your grandpa dying if I was there. If I could do everything I could, I would freaking stab you to death.'

I looked at my hands, his words were hurting me so incredibly much.

'But you're not even worth going to jail for. You're worth nothing.'

'I k-know.'

'But you still hope to get a boyfriend, you're pathetic. Just die, please. I bet no one will be at your funeral. Oh, maybe I will to laugh at you. Do you know how ugly you are?'

'Y-yes.'

'Do you think George will fall for YOU?'

'Uh-.'

'He won't. He is just playing again, of course he is. No one will ever like you, everyone wants you dead.'

'I'm s-sorry.'

'For?'

I looked at my hands and swallowed my tears away.

'Existing.'

'Good, you at least understand something. After school you will come to park, if not I will literally kill you.'

'I w-was going to s-surprise George.'

'LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY.'

'B-but-.'

He hit my head against the wall and pushed me on the ground. He kicked the side of my chest and kept going for minutes long. I almost couldn't breath anymore and I felt like passing out.

Suddenly someone ran towards Jonny and pushed him away. It was Sapnap.

'GET AWAY, IDIOT.'

'Oh, Sap. If you and George don't listen to what I say, you know what will happen.'

I looked up a little confused. They got blackmailed?

'I don't care anymore, I literally don't. Get off Clay, he has done nothing wrong. Literally nothing, never.'

'Oh Clay, you want to know what they did?'

'N-no, I don't w-want t-to. That's p-private.'

'George's dad isn't his real dad.'

Sapnap looked at the ground. 'Why are you like this, why do you want to tell this to everyone?'

'Because you don't listen to me anymore. If you don't listen to me anymore, why would I keep this a secret?'

I still almost couldn't breath, I was in extremely much pain.

'George's real dad is in jail, just as Sapnap's dad is.'

I looked at Sapnap with big eyes, he looked at the ground and it seemed like he was going to cry.

'Because their dads thought it was a good idea to go and rob a store and beat the owners up. And they once trusted me with that, and I acted like I cared, but I started blackmailing them with it. If they wouldn't listen to me, I would tell the whole school they were kids of criminals. Well, they didn't want that and they listened to me. Since I also saw George staring at guys sometimes, I had something extra to blackmail him with.'

'Okay, happy? You told it, now get the hell away. I'm helping Clay, you have nothing against me anymore, I can do whatever I want. Leave or I'll beat the shit out of you too, you bastards.'

'Fine.' Jonny walked off and Sapnap ran towards me.

'Are you okay?' he whispered.

'Are y-you? I'm s-sorry t-that he t-told that.'

'It's fine, I can't hide it forever anyway. Where did he kick you? Do you have a lot of pain?'

'I think I b-broke my r-ribs.'

'I'm taking you to hospital.'

'I wanted t-to surprise George w-when he came home.'

'Aww, well, I'll send him back to the hospital to you then.'

'Do you think George wants to be my boyfriend?'

'I think he does,' Sapnap said smiling at me.

'Are you uh- homophobic?'

'I'm not. George is my best friend and I won't leave him for being gay, and I hope you see me as a friend too. I won't leave you because you're gay.'

'Thank you so much,' I whispered.

1086 words