The Love I Have For You

CHAPTER TEN

Two weeks had passed already and Kakashi seemed busier. Our little chats and meetups seized completely. I met him only during night time and by morning, he would be gone. The rest of the day, I had no choice but walk outside and tend garden. I went to the market and met Izumo on the way, but he was on duty so I did not keep him busy. Even then, I wanted to have a female friend but Kurenai and the rest of the Jonins seemed busier now that they had their own team. Naruto was also assigned to his own team therefore, the plan to trigger past memories halted. For now, my mission was to find a job.

Naruto had previously talked about a sensei, Iruka who taught students. Maybe I could visit the academy and get myself to be useful but so far, I had no talents in that case either. What if I realized that teaching was not my style? I had asked Kakashi to invite the Genins to our house so I could meet them but he strongly refused. The idea of having his students come over to his place was atrocious and a breach in privacy according to him. Plus, it would leave nothing to his added mystery. On the other hand, he reminded me of our secrecy- the one where Sarutobi-Sama asked us to keep our marriage unknown- and said he would have no answers if the young ninjas asked about me. He knew they were curious about him, therefore finding a woman at his house would trigger incidents he desperately tried avoiding, i.e. being less mysterious and unpredictable to his students.

"Think about it, they are not the ones to rely on. One of them barely talks and will not acknowledge you. The other gossips day and night while the last one- troublesome- will end up telling all of Konoha." He wore his green flak jacket and fixed the leaf headband. I tried seeing his left eye but it was quickly covered.

"I just wished I could see them"

"I know but it is for the best."

"This is unfair"

I locked the door behind me and walked along the thin wave of path. Konoha was in front of me, welcoming my presence. I had decided to stay outside and have lunch at Ichiraku. Staying home without friends or someone to talk to had started bothering me. Izumo could not know where I worked, I meant, lived because it would expose my marriage. Even though Kakashi was always polite, the marriage was not healthy. We had nothing in common apart from him talking about his missions- I did not even know the full details. Sometimes we talked a lot but there were times when Kakashi would ask me if I was regretting this marriage. It only made me question his feelings for this. I had no choice but to accept the Hokage's request but what was his reason? Did he have no relationship or any other ninja in his mind to marry? Who knows? As for me, I figured having too many friends would eventually lead to questions about my family and house. It would raise more questions. Maybe there was a way; if I could request the Hokage to lift up this supposed secrecy of my marriage then there was hope.

"I can't even complain about my problems to anyone" I was in an endless loop with no escape. I had a problem with no solution. I entered the village market that was livelier than usual and there were colors all around me. I passed the jewelry shops, the fruit markets and carts. There were bakery shops and I stood in front of one, wondering when Kakashi's birthday was. Did he know when my birthday was? There even was a sign up on this beautiful hot springs advertising a special couple's night. I could ask Kakashi but then again, what was the point? I was married but I could never act like one. I had the ring on my finger but the hand gloves hid his. I did not even know what I wanted from this man. But maybe, I was not even frustrated at Kakashi. It was the lack of people I could talk to that made it worse. I wanted to have friends, be outside the world more and have a life that described me more than just the wife of the copycat.

As soon as I stepped foot inside Ichiraku, two things caught my attention. A flash of bright yellow hair and blue eyes watching me, and the gravity defying silver hair and one eye looking at me. I stopped for a while to contemplate the scenario ahead. Kakashi was sitting next to Naruto who had sat next to a pink haired girl with a raven-haired boy. The girl looked sweet whereas the raven-haired boy did not even turn around to acknowledge me.