Temporary [H.S. || A.U.]

Chapter 22

Save a horse, ride a cowboy

Horseback riding.

Definitely not what I thought I would be doing today.

Honestly, I could go for a good nap. My brain is not treating me with kindness right now.

I was fine when I first woke up. Well, as fine as I could be when I woke up with Grayson on top of me in her underwear. Just a little internal freak out over the fact that the girl who I have a massive crush was laying on me nearly naked. No biggie.

But when her family saw us in our underwear, I became really anxious. I'm so insecure with my body, and I am just starting to get comfortable enough to not worry about Grayson seeing me shirtless. I didn't plan on having that many eyes on me when I was so exposed.

That was the catalyst for a whole swarm of overthinking to hit me once I got into the shower.

I don't regret anything that happened between Grayson and I last night. I actually really enjoyed myself. I've been enjoying all the time I have been spending with Grayson lately.

I'm being foolish, though. This time with her is only going to last the length of the trip. This is all temporary and I'm starting to let myself feel and act like it's not.

I don't know where her head is at. But I doubt that she would develop any feelings for me ever.

I'm not delusional. I'm not an easy person to love.

I come with a lot of baggage.

People don't want damaged goods like me.

I hope drunk me wasn't too much for her. I really don't want her to start getting awkward or weird around me because she realizes that she regrets how we were acting last night.

That would hurt.

Oh well, I'm going to get hurt at the end of this trip regardless. May as well start preparing myself.

Can't think about that right now, though. I'm about to ride a damn horse on the beach for some reason.

I've been standing here watching all of Grayson's other family member get up on a horse and I'm still not feeling confident about this. When I went up near one of the horses earlier, it clearly didn't like me. The horse did that snort thing horses do when they're upset and turned around to walk away from me.

"Man, you're too nervous." The worker advises me. "Horses can sense that shit and it freaks them out, you know?"

"Yeah, totally." I quip with a dry laugh. "Let me just turn off my anxiety real quick. I've been looking for that switch for a while, though, and still can't find it. Any idea where it might be?"

"I'm just sayin that you need to try and calm down or these horses will fling you off right when you get on." The worker retorts.

Way to make me feel better.