4 (jaylor) gleaming twilight and an infinite afterglow

chapter ten.

It still felt so odd that they didn't have to hide away from the world anymore. Taylor had spent any free time she had, any time where she wasn't looking after Thea or making sure that their bags were all packed to go to New York and making sure that her performance with Jimmy Fallon was planned. Jimmy was one of her favourite people to deal with because she always felt like he genuinely wanted to help her. He'd always managed to get her to smile, and if there was anyone that she'd want to question her about the situation with Adam, it would be him. She'd always loved Jimmy but singing New Years Day for him when his mother passed away had created a special bond between them, and Jimmy had told her that the moment the cameras had turned off.
Luckily Thea was still pretty tired from spending yesterday with Selena, and she fell asleep on the plane. It was still so weird to Taylor that they could walk off the plane without hiding, that it didn't matter if people saw them. It didn't matter if they knew they were here, or if they got photos of them.

It was midafternoon by the time that they got home, and Taylor smiled when she saw that Blake had left a note on the front doorstep. It was just a simple note telling them that she'd popped around in the morning to leave some things in the kitchen. Taylor loved her so much, and she was just so grateful for her friend. She remembered the circle of friends that she'd had back in 2014, and realised that she only still had close contact with three or four of them. She used to have such a large circle of friends, she used to always have a house full of people for parties. But now, after everything that she'd been through, she'd realised that having a large group of people around you doesn't always make you feel happy. She'd realised that she was actually happier with a few friends. A few friends that meant the world to her, friends that she'd do anything for. Friends that she knew would do anything for her too. Friends that gave as much as they took. It didn't matter if she didn't have a hundred people to invite to her parties. It was crazy that she'd realised that after all this time. For the longest time she had thought that having this big group of friends was the way to find who she was, the way to make everyone happy. The way to make herself happy, because she always wanted to be good enough for everyone. But Joe had helped her to realise that she didn't need to be good enough for everyone, just herself. Taylor had always been her own harshest critic, and she was trying so hard to change that. Sometimes she was able to be kinder to herself than other times, but she tried her best and that was the main thing.

Thea always got way too excited when they arrived at one of their other homes - and she always loved to run through the hallways, jump on every bed and couch that she could find and of course, be the first one to let the cats in.
Taylor quickly texted Blake and thanked her for everything, for all of the groceries that she'd stocked the fridge with, and thanking her for thinking of her. The friendship that the two families shared was close, something that was so rare and beautiful.
Both Taylor and Joe waited in the kitchen for Thea to come back downstairs, hopefully calmer than when she'd walked through the door.
"Does Jimmy know everything you need for tonight?" Joe asked Taylor, and she smiled, nodding.
"He sure does."
"I'm sure Thea will want to go," Joe murmured with a smile.
Taylor sighed. "I'm sure that you could both come - there's plenty of room in the dressing room. I'm sure she'd be upset that she wasn't getting to sit with me, but if she wants to come, she can. I'm sure that she would love to meet Jimmy," she smiled. She couldn't help but smile when she thought of her daughter, of the way her hair ran in wild ringlets and the fact that she had Joe's ocean eyes, his smile and even though she was barely five, his poetic nature. It was just so beautiful how they'd chosen her name because it really truly meant something because it was all about bringing daylight and light to the world. It was crazy that they'd named her Thea long before either of them realised how much daylight she'd actually bring to their lives. "Would you be alright if she came with me? You could come too if you wanted to, although Blake had also offered to let Thea stay with them - which she may be tempted by because she hasn't seen the girls in such a long time," Taylor smiled.
"Of course she can go!" Joe leaned in and kissed Taylor as Thea finally came to a halt in front of them.
"Go? Go where?" She asked, already excited been though she had no clue where she was going.
"You've got a choice, Theabear." Joe told her as he crouched down in front of her. "You can either come with Mommy and I when she has to go on television, or you can stay with Aunty Blake and-"
"I want to go with you!" Thea exclaimed and Taylor laughed. Thea already loved being in front of the cameras so much and she was happy as it stopped her from worrying so much. She'd always make sure that she gave Thea the option of staying home.
She'd never force Thea to do anything that she didn't want to do, and she also didn't want her to feel pressured that she had to always be in the spotlight just like them. Because the spotlight was a tiring place to be, and Taylor really didn't want Thea to become burnt out by it all. Both Taylor and Joe knew how it felt to be burning out with pressure of it all, and they wanted to protect her from feeling like that.