The Connoisseur

Chapter 30 - Après un rêve

“Yeah, sure.”

When they reached home, Christian went to use their shower.  The girls chatted over tea in the kitchen.

“He’s okay, isn’t he?” said Julie.  Sophia was surprised to hear doubt in her friend’s voice.

“He’s nice,” she replied.  “I like him.  Seems very kind.”

“I thought he’d be a bad boy when he asked me out.  Rugby lad and all.”

“Disappointed that he’s not?”

Julie thought for a moment.  “I kind of was, but not now.”  She smiled and blushed.  “Yeah, not now.  Don’t think he’s changing me, getting me to come home instead of staying out.  I just...I kind of just want to be with him.”

They smiled at one another.  Sophia felt so happy for the two of them.

She wondered where Alexander was.

“Sophe,” said Julie an eternity later, “What the hell’s happening with you and this guy?”

Sophia froze.  Her teacup hovered by her lips.  It was too small to hide behind.

“Sorry for being blunt,” continued Julie, “But I’m worried for you.  It’s him, Alexander, isn’t it?  That’s why you’ve been down these last few weeks.”

“I’ve not been down.”

“You have been.  We’ve all see it.  You disappear for a few hours, sometimes I don’t even hear you leave, and then you say nothing when you come back.  Please, Sophe, tell us something.”  Julie leaned forward suddenly.  “Just something!  I mean, where do you go?  What’s he like?  Why does he make you so sad?”

“He doesn’t!” said Sophia.  “It’s not him, he’s...I don’t know.”

Julie paused.  “Are you two evening going out any more?  I don’t know, Sophe.  Sometimes I think so, sometimes I don’t.  Your silent.  We’re all worried.”

“Who’s we?”

“You know.  All of us.  All of them there tonight.”

Sophia realised what that meant.  “Oh god, really?”

“Yes.  We want to help.  Let us.”

They sat in silence for a moment.  The trickle of the shower upstairs was the only sound.  Sophia blinked back tears.

“So are you still going out?” said Julie.

Sophia thought about those last two words, that phrase.  It seemed odd.  “Would you accept it,” she said slowly, “If I said I didn’t know?”

“Yes, if it’s the truth.”

“Then I don’t know.”

Julie smiled.  “That’s okay.”

Sophia waited, but Julie said nothing.  It was clearly her turn.  “It’s like we’re a normal couple,” she began.  “But then we’re not normal at all.  We’re apart for a long time.”

“He’s away a lot, right?” said Julie.  “Research, you said.”

“Did I?  Of course.”  Sophia smiled through the damp in her eyes.  “But when we’re together, we’re so together.  But there’s still so much distance.  Oh this is stupid!” she blurted out, as her head flooded with memories of Prague, Ctesiphon, Shangdu and Monaco.  “I can’t explain it, I just can’t.”

“This is good,” said Julie.  “This is enough.  Just getting you talking, it’s great.”

She laughed, and somehow Sophia found the will to join in.  They lapsed once again into silence.

“I haven’t spoken with him in two weeks,” said Sophia.

“I’m sorry.”

“No.  Don’t be.”  Sophia sipped her chai.  “Because we might have problems, lots of them, but I know him.  He’ll call.  He’ll call.  And when he does, we’ll take on those problems together.”

“Will you?”

“Yeah.  Yeah.”  Sophia wiped her eyes.  “He’ll call.”

*

He did.

*

Julie's relationship is going well, it seems.  How do you think Sophia really feels about that?  And can she ever talk honestly with her friends about her relationship with Alexander?

This chapter is a little bit significant for me - it's the first significant chunk of novel I've ever written by hand.  I've scribbled notes before, and a few poems too every now and then, but nothing quite like this.  It was a rather lovely way to spend a lazy afternoon in a cafe!

The music is Gabriel Fauré's Après un rêve.  The video is a bit cheesy, but the music is divine.  The words come from an anonymous Italian poem translated into French.  Translated into English, it works well for Sophia at this stage in the story:

After a Dream

In a slumber enchanted by your image

I dreamt of happiness, passionate mirage

Your eyes were softer, your voice pure and resonant,

Your eyes like a sky lit up by the dawn;

You called me and I left the earth

To run away with you towards the light,

The skies opened their clouds for us,

Unknown splendours, divine flashes glimpsed.

Alas!  Alas!  sad awakening from your dreams

I call you, O night, give me back your lies,

Return, return radient,

Return, O mysterious night!