Reason [BNHA x HxH!Reader]

[x.5] Crack Chapter Pt. 3

Kaminari: Are you sure about this?
[Y/n]: Pretty sure.
Neito: Okay, well, considering our current circumstances I'd like to be more than just "pretty sure".
[Y/n]: Really pretty sure.

—·—·—

Shigaraki: This dumb bitch speaks of affairs she knows nothing about!
[Y/n]: THAT IS TRUE!
Shigaraki: And she has no respect!
[Y/n]: THAT IS ALSO TRUE!

—·—·—

Aizawa: What are good responses for getting stabbed with a knife?
[Y/n]: Rude!
Shouto: That's fair.
Killua: Not again.
Kaminari: Hey, are you going to want this back?
Aizawa: . . .
Present Mic: Uh, are you kids alright?

—·—·—

Bakugou: Can I help you?
Killua: Probably not.
Bakugou: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Killua: It means whatever the fuck you want it to mean.

—·—·—

Dabi: I have no clue what to fucking make of you.
[Y/n]: Preferably not a corpse.
Dabi: I'm surprised somebody else hasn't done that, already.

—·—·—

Aizawa: Can you tell me what happened? Why do you all need medical attention?
Mina: Kaminari woke me up at 4am by playing Spooky Scary Skeletons and then I chased him until he tripped over the speaker and fell onto Kirishima.
Kaminari: *peace signs*
Aizawa: And how did Freecss get involved?
Sero: She laughed until she fractured a rib.
Aizawa: And you?
Sero: I was the closest to Bakugou when he woke up from all of the noise.

—·—·—

In a group chat
[Y/n]: lol I'm dying help
Kaminari: oof same
Todoroki: Is this more slang?
Mina: whats up, wifey?
Sero: lol
Bakugou: Shut the fuck up Chuunibyou, nobody fucking cares.
[Y/n]: no like I'm legit dying
[Y/n]: some guy stabbed me in a McDonald's parking lot
[Y/n]: the lol is a habit
[Y/n]: sends a blurry picture of herself dabbing in the ambulance
Several people are typing...

—·—·—

Kaminari: Hey girl, are you a thief? Because you stole my—
[Y/n]: Oh, sorry, I'll give you your wallet back.
Kaminari: — heart . . . Wait, what?

—·—·—

[Y/n]: Looks like we're onto plan B!
Iida: Actually, this is Plan G.
Deku: How many plans do we even have? Is there a plan M?
Todoroki: Yeah, but [Y/n] dies in that one.
Bakugou: Plan M sounds fantastic.
[Y/n]: Yeah, fuck you too.

—·—·—

Deku: 13-year-old me would be in awe of who I am today!
Todoroki: 13-year-old me thought I'd probably be dead by now.
[Y/n]: I would fight a 13-year-old me.

—·—·—

[Y/n]: You know, I've learned some valuable lessons from this all!
Aizawa: Why do I have a feeling what you learned is actually just distortions of the real lessons?
[Y/n]: Death isn't real, and I'm basically God.
Aizawa: Jesus Christ.

—·—·—

[Y/n]: Oh shoot. Am I in trouble?
Aizawa: Take a wild guess.
[Y/n]: No???
Aizawa: Try again.

—·—·—

[Y/n]: sneaking into the apartment at 2am
Aizawa: turns on light
Aizawa: Where were you?
[Y/n]: Uh . . . I was with Kurapika?
Kurapika: walks into the room.
Aizawa: Let's try this again.

—·—·—

[Y/n]: I can never tell when you're insulting me or flirting with me.
Bakugou: If it's any consolation, neither can I.

—·—·—

Fighting Stain

Todoroki: We're missing something here . . .
Iida: Teamwork?
Deku: Cohesion?
[Y/n]: A general sense of what we should actually be doing?

—·—·—

Leorio: Hey, is this a bottle of whiskey or a bottle of perfume?
[Y/n]: snatches bottle out of hand and chugs it
[Y/n]: It's perfume.