Black Girl World

Chapter 8

When I walk into the apartment, Jai is bundled up on the couch with his fuzzy blue blanket and his laptop, typing away rapidly, and quickly notice that  Gia is (thankfully)  nowhere to be found.  I look at the time on the stove and it read's 11:58AM.   I look back at Jai whose hair is freshly cut and he's wearing his signature black t-shirt. He doesn't look up so I start for my room.

I definitely missed my Philosophy and Person Class but thankfully we were just critiquing an episode of Black Mirror and discussing it among our groups. I emailed my professor and told her I was not feeling well but would send her my paper by the end of the day and she easily agreed-- sometimes being the teacher's pet had perks, even in college.

"You missed an enticing episode of Black Mirror today," Jai mutters shouts after me without looking up. I continue to walk to my room, openly ignoring his thinly veiled scrutiny. Hoping into the shower I decide to do a face mask today while I work on my slightly overdue papers and homework. When I exit my room, Gia is sitting at the kitchen island eating a burrito bowl and texting away furiously at her phone.  She looks up at me and smirks before looking back at Jai. "Well well, little bird, when did you get in?" the amusement in her voice is not lost on me. I point to my face and shake my head, using my hardening mask as an excuse not to respond.

"12," Jai pipes in, still typing away but ever present in the conversation. I try to scowl but the clay mask has made my face all but moveable. He's decided to side with Gia's nosey ass on this one; I'll remember that. Giovanna whips her head back around to me and smiles a lazy grin. I can already feel her ready to grill me and without saying a word I walk away. When I return I come with a basket full of skincare and a desk mirror.  If she's going to interrogate me I may as well kill two birds with one stone. I sit down on the other end of the couch next to Jai and begin rubbing a cotton pad leaking with toner to my face. Gia stares me down waiting for a response.

"So we just hung out," I start before casually examining the cotton pad. I decide to use another to remove the clay. I hear Jai's rapid typing briefly  falter but quickly resumes, he remains silent.  Usually he has more to say but now he is being oddly standoffish and I'm not sure what to make of it.

"That's it?" Gia nearly shouts. She saunters over to the chair opposite of the couch and plops into the chair with a graceful thud. Despite the confusing spring weather in Chicago, she's wearing a cropped turtleneck and a pair of high waisted skinny jeans, her hair is framing her face in a dark curly halo and for a second I feel jealous of her confidence. The feeling quickly passes and morphs into curiosity and briefly I wonder why she's so dressed up and she doesn't have class until 5-- and it's a religious course with the crazy white guy with dreads. I squint my eyes at her and right on cue she begins to rapid fire questions at me: what did y'all do, where did yall go, how has he been, has he apologized, is he staying with his parents, has he apologized, did he seem like he felt bad. Jai closes his computer with a sigh and pulls his blanket tighter around him and looks pointedly at me waiting.

I continue to massage my face with hyaluronic acid,  unsure of whether or no I actually want to tell them the actual details. 

"If you don't talk," Jai says agitated. "I did not have a group discussion with Sarai, Joni, and that pothead BY MYSELF just for you to come home and fail at being tight lipped about what happened with you and Avery. Spill the tea or be prepared to fight."  I try not to laugh because I know he's more than serious but I can't stop myself, Gia bites her lip and just barely contains her laughter. I recount the night for them, omitting the kisses and what not. Expertly, I attempt to paint an accurate recollection of last night's conversation but in all honesty I think we might've talked in a circle and about nothing that was in the least bit important. I omit the part about him asking me to go back with him, still unsure about how I feel about everything between us.

"So he apologized but didn't say why he left?"  Gia is now seated between Jai and I, resting her head in Jai lap and her feet in mine. I'm wrapped up in our couch blanket, hoping to stay warm if I don't move. Though our apartment is nice, it was still in the crappy and moderately cheap part of the West Loop, so unfortunately, the heating is trash and the windows do not open; so in the summer we're burning up and in the winter we're freezing our asses off.

"No," I start to retort, but then I don't actually have a response. "I don't know, tbh?"  Gia looks up at Jai and rolls her eyes and Jai shakes his head in resignation. Shockingly the entire story, he has remained absolutely silent, not even muttering in agreement, disagreement, or disgust: something had to be off with him today. 

"Jai are you ok? You've been quiet and we all know that's not like you." Before he can respond, Giovanna sits up and looks at me. "Don't change the topic. That boy left without a single explanation and had the nerves to try to pull the slick Rick moves on you and did not offer not one logical explanation or even apologize?"

I hate when she does this: speaking and not actually listening, like she knows exactly what's going on even if she wasn't present, it's a pet peeve of mine and she knows it. I inwardly sigh because I know this conversation will unfortunately end in one of two ways.

"I'm not quiet," Jai says, derailing the verbal spat that was moments from happening. He can read us easily and most time's he can navigate our argument before it takes off. And they usually take awf. She's my good sis, but she's judgmental as hell! And we've always seemed to have a love/hate type of relationship. I'd nit pick and be emotional, which she hated, and she was so calculating and kind of cold in an emotional sense, and that really did grind my gears. I had absolutely no clue as to why we were friends and how we remained friends but I genuinely could not see my life without her in it. I guess that's friendship, maybe even sisterhood?

Jai on the other hand had been my brother since I was 17 and my close friend since I was 14. In the mass destruction that was life, Jai, Giovanna, and I all attended the elite Academy. After my father had divorced my mother, despite putting on the matriarchal front, Aymeline Harlow Van Rouse, was lonely. So one day sophomore year, while eating crappy pizza in the cafe after school, we got the brilliant idea to set my mom up with Jai's dad, Ellis.

Ellis just happened to be my Algebra II teacher, and with the parent teacher conference was around the corner and Jai jokingly mentioned half priced tuition, a scheme was hatched. We just weren't expecting for them to hit it off that well. By the end of the year our parents were married and we were sharing a bathroom. He and I got along perfectly, we could talk for hours and he would always be able to talk me out of my occasional episodes and he swore I was comedic relief. He was the yin to my yang when he wasn't being a pain in the ass.

Somehow we'd manage to balance each other out, because separately we were a mess and sometimes when one wasn't present, it was majorly felt. But today would not be that day, I refused to let their prying and my mixed emotions cause a miniature war.

"He did leave gaps but in all honesty I'm just happy he's back,you know? He says he needed the space to heal and grow mentally and we all know how important mental health is, right?" I say pointedly looking at Gia, she looks down before looking back at me and yanking me into an embarrass.

"Sis, if you like it then I love it!" She smiles eagerly and squeezes me hard. Silently Jai, just watches us with a slight side eye to our embrace.