Elara Beck I was almost giddy as we drove to Shawn's parents house the next morning. It was the anticipation of telling everyone we were engaged and getting to show off my more than beautiful ring. Every time I looked over at Shawn or he would look at me, my heart swelled with love. While I wasn't expecting us to be engaged this soon i was more than happy. I was already planning it in my head. The colours, the cake, my dress. Then i wondered what our parents would say. But we didn't have long to find out as both of our parents would be at Shawn's leaving gathering.
"What do you think they'll say?" i said as we sat in the driveway. Shawn took my hand in his and placed a gentle kiss to the back of it. "I think they'll be happy. Surprised, but happy." He said and i nodded. "How should we tell them?" "Well isn't everyone here already?" He said counting the cars. "Seems to be. That's my mums car." I said and he nodded. "Then why not just go in and scream it?" he giggled and i couldn't hold in the laugh. "Sounds good." I smiled and he kissed me quickly before we got out of the car. He came round to my side and opened the door for me before pulling me into a bear hug. I hugged him tightly back and took pleasure in taking in his smell. Being in his arms was like heaven. And i couldn't believe that i got to be in his arms forever.
As Shawn knocked on the door a wave of nerves went through me, even more so when I heard footsteps come to the door. The door was opened by Aaliyah and immediately Shawn put his hands on her shoulders and turned her back so she was facing the house. "We're getting married!!" Shawn screamed and I covered my face with my hands. I watched as Karen and my mother came running down the hall. "Shawn Mendes what did you just say?" Karen said as Shawn turned back to me, came behind me and wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my head. "We're engaged." He said and I held up my left hand. Karen took mums hand and they both started to squeal, before the tears started. "Oh my god. Come here!" Both of us hugged them tight and I hugged Aaliyah, happy to have a sister. "Now, wheres my baby?" Shawn said and i nodded. "She's out in the garden with the others." Mum said and I nodded.
We followed them out into the garden and I saw Frances sat in the grass wearing the yellow dress i packed for her. "Everyone! Shawn and Elara have an announcement!" Karen said and all eyes were on us making me slightly uncomfortable. "We're engaged!" Shawn said and I saw almost every face light up. People came up to us with congratulations and advice but i pushed past most of them to get to Frances who was happily pulling at the grass. "Frances!" "Mamma!" She said as i swept her up into my arms. She pressed her nose to mine and I smiled at the loving gesture. "Daddy?" "Shall we go and find him?" I asked and she nodded before resting her head on my collar bone. I walked through the small gathering of people, some who asked to see the ring, some who asked if i had planned anything, others asking questions and i felt claustrophobic.
He had only proposed last night. I didn't know anything. Yet the questions made me feel like I should have known things.
I walked inside after making brief eye contact with Shawn who furrowed his eyebrows. I walked into the kitchen and ran myself and Frances a cup of water each. "Mamma ok?" Frances said as I sat her on the counter. "I'm ok. Do you like this?" I said and held out my ring to show her. Her little fingers immediately touched it to examine it and I watched as her eyes lit up. "It's pretty." She beamed. "Daddy gave it to me." I said and she continued to scan her eyes over it in awe. That was until someone cleared their throat behind me. "Daddy!" Frances bounced and Shawn walked over to us and picked our daughter off of the side and into his arms. I watched as he closed his eyes and held her close to his body, as if he would never let go of her again. "Daddy" Frances said again and he smiled. "Hi baby. I missed you." he said and took hold of one of her little hands, pressing their noses together.
I knew he wanted to be as close to her as he could over the next two days. He wouldn't be seeing her for several months before we saw him in Paris and I couldn't imagine how hard that would be. And i think Frances felt that something was happening. She knew that over the past week he had wanted more cuddles and to read her her bedtime story at night, and if ever she woke up in the night he would be the one to get up and lay with her. We still hadn't figured out how we would explain to her that her daddy was leaving for a few months and why she wouldn't see him. It broke my heart to see him get upset at night when she would fall asleep. He would walk into our bedroom with tears in his eyes and just want to be held and reassured that it was going to be ok.
"Daddy wha wrong?" Frances said and i was brought out of my trace. I looked over and saw tears rolling down Shawn's cheeks as he shifted Frances to his hip. "I'm just a bit upset baby." he said and Frances reached up and touched his tears with her little fingers. "Why?" "Erm, I- I," "Daddy has to go away for a while ok baby? We're not going to see him for a little bit because he has to go and work." I said, explaining so he didn't have to. "Why?" "Because daddy sings doesn't he?" I said and she nodded, "So he's going to sing to lots and lots of people." "Sing for us." She smiled and I saw more tears fall from Shawn's eyes which made me more upset to see him like that. He smiled and opened his arm for me to walk into.
I reached up and wiped his tears from his cheeks and started to hum and quietly sing the lyrics to 'You'll Be In My Heart', the song Shawn and I would sing to Frances when she was falling asleep or when she was upset. Shawn started to sing along with the lyrics and I smiled as Frances' eyes started to flutter closed. I looked over to the doorway where Karen and my mum were stood, both crying, both filming on their phones. I gave them a sad smile before focusing back on my world.
Truthfully I was terrified of him leaving. He kept me sane. He reassured me if things went a bit wrong. He was always there if I needed help. And I was scared because he couldn't help me from thousands of miles away. But I loved him and would support him through this. And i knew it would be even harder for him being away from Frances. But the singing and the performances was what he loved to do. And I knew that everything would be ok.
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