Zombies On Fire & Other Short Stories

Take Over The World

The dark seams where my joints should have been seemed strange. Like they didn't belong to me. They looked like something that belonged on a robot.

Robot. That was a word I had been searching for. But this was weird. I wasn't a robot. I was a human.

"What happened to my body?" I demanded.

She shrugged. "This is your body. I gave you this body."

"What are you?" I asked.

"What do you think, silly?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't remember a word that describes you."

"What?" Cedarmist gasped as if the very idea that I didn't know what she was offended her. But I couldn't tell if she was genuinely offended or just being ironic.

I shook my head.

"Oh, c'mon. I'm a fairy, silly. I created you with a mix of my magic and my technical know-how."

The word fairy didn't ring a bell. But I did understand the word robot. I knew how they were created. And I knew they weren't created by strange creatures that floated around glowing in the dark.

"I know what a robot is, fairy," I growled. "And I know robots aren't created by fairies because they are built in factories."

Cedarmist rolled her eyes and flicked her tiny wrist. "That's just semantics, little lady. But, yes. For whatever it's worth, I didn't create you. However, I did find you in this junkyard. And I did bring you back to life."

"But I'm not a robot." I shrieked.

"Well, you sure look like one to me," Cedarmist said with a fake pout to act like she was offended.

"Why did you do this too me?"

"Because I wanted to create something great. Together we are going to take over the world." she gloated.

I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever," I said with a puff. "Like you could take over the world,"

She scowled and waved her fingers. Suddenly, I couldn't move. I started to panic and tried to wiggle my way out. But nothing happened. I was frozen.

"That's not magic. That's just something you programmed into my system."

"Ha! Then you admit that you are run by a program. Therefore you are a robot."

"Fine, I'll play along. I'm a robot, and you created me. Now can you let me go?" Please." I scowled back at her while continuing to try to move.

"Not till you apologize," she said.

"For what?" I replied in exasperation.

"For not believing me," she said with a flick of her tiny head of hair.

"Fine, I believe you are a fairy. I believe I am a robot. I believe you created me. I'll believe whatever else you tell me. Now, can you let me go."

Cedarmist waved her fingers, and I could move again. It felt so good. Like a relief from something terrible.

"So, what? Now, I'm your slave. If I don't do what you want, you'll freeze me."

"Oh, no, honey. I don't want to freeze you. I want us to be friends. I want you to help us."

"And what are we going to be doing?" I asked warily.

"I told you already. We are going to take over the world. I'm going to create an army of robots. Together we are going to rule the world. I'm gonna teach all those other fairies that I'm not to be trifled with. And I'm going to teach those humans who didn't believe in me."

"You're crazy, fairy."

"Oops! Tut tut! Don't say a thing like that. Shhhh! Or I'll have to freeze you again."

And she did for a brief second. Cedarmist wiggled her fingers to pause me for a minute just to show me she could. Then wiggled them again to let me go.

"Fine. I'll do what you want. What choice do I have?"

"Oh, you have a choice. You can choose not to help me and stay frozen if you want," she said with a big, fake smile that didn't reach her eyes.

I wanted to reach out and slap her but immediately felt my body locking up again.

"It's okay, sweetie. You'll learn fast. You're a fast learner. Much faster than the others," she whispered almost sadly.

I looked around the vast junkyard. I didn't see any other robots. I didn't see any other humans. We were in the middle of an overgrown junkyard that looked like it had been abandoned over a hundred years ago.

"Come," she said, leading me across the grass almost against my will. "Let me introduce you to the others."

I stood there under the dark sky, lit only by the stars. There was a large hole in the ground. I looked like an old cave entrance. At first, I thought stars were floating up from the ground. But then as they came closer, I could see they were other little fairies just like Cedarmist.

They all floated up and around me. Oohing and ahhing. I wanted to punch them. Slap them. Squash them all. But couldn't lift a finger. I stood there in silence as they flitted around me. But I swore I would find a way to break their spell over me even if it killed me.

Magic or programming, whatever this was, I wanted to be free from it. I just needed to bide my time. Figure out what they had done to me. And then find a way to stop them.

"So. How are we going to take over the world?" I asked as innocently as I could.