The first step

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    It had only been a month since the attack had happened, only 30 days before this there had been a terrorist attack on Grey Sloan and most of the staff were still traumatized from the Shooting, all had gotten back to work besides Meredith and Cristina, which of whom neither were cleared for surgery.

Meredith POV
I woke up bloodshot seeing that I had fallen on floor in the middle of the night, lately I've been having terrible nightmares about that day I still refused to talk about. I remembered waking up in the middle of night to Derek comforting me back to sleep, So I decided to quickly get up and walk to the bathroom before he woke up and saw me on the floor. I rushed into the bathroom and leaned over the toilet and violently vomited and soft tears ran down my cheek, I lay against the wall panting and my arms shaking, I stoop up slowly my still hands shaking and looked in the mirror. I lifted up my shirt and started at my brittle stomach at my pointy ribs and frail body and sighed, Then I started the Shower.

Derek POV
I woke up to being alone in the bed and heard the shower turn on. I sighed and knocked on the door to make sure she was fine, "You ok in there Mer?" I heard a faint "Yeah" under the shower water. I decided to go downstairs and make coffee, I had to get ready for work even thought I wanted to stay home and comfort her, Meredith hadn't been to the hospital since the accident and I worried for her. I heard tiny footsteps walk down the stairs and smiled as I watched her walk down the stairs, she was wearing her Dartmouth shirt that I love on her and baggy sweatpants.

Meredith POV
"Morning." I said as I tried to put on a fake smile as I walked into the kitchen, "Good morning Beautiful," Derek smiled while handing me a cup of coffee, I slowly pretending to sip it but I didn't actually drink any, I haven't been eating a lot lately and I just haven't felt myself, the caffeine made me squeamish, but I didn't want Derek to worry, "Okay I'm headed to work, you alright to be home alone?" I just smiled and nodded as he softly kissed my forehead and ran out the door with his keys.

Cristina POV
I woke up alone in the bed sweating a little, Probably just a bad dream, Owen must have already gone to work, I sighed and got dressed. I hopped in my car and started to head to Meredith's house. Since neither of us had been cleared for surgery I thought it would be nice if I stopped by. I decided to stop and grab a box of donuts because I thought she might be hungry since Derek probably left early this morning as well. I've been worried about Meredith so has Derek but she won't talk to us about anything from the incident, she feels it's her fault that he is dead, I sighed as I pulled into the driveway.

Meredith POV
I heard the door knob twist and panicked, who would be coming over at this time!? They should all be at work! I thought, then I remembered that Cristina had not been cleared for surgery either, I sighed with relief. I'm surprise she still wasn't diagnosing patients and walking around the hospital. I slowly opened the door to see her face "Hi" I said solemnly, "Hey I brought donuts!" She exclaimed. "Are you hungry?" I just stood there and thought for a minute and spat out "Not really, I already ate," I lied. "Oh that's alright, more for me I guess," She mumbles while stuffing a donut into her mouth, I couldn't help but smile. " so what have you been up to." Cristina asked, "Nothing really, after Derek left this morning I cleaned the dishes and started to watch the little mermaid" I said while pointing to the couch and smirking. She smiled from ear to ear "Can I watch with you?" I nodded yes and laid back onto the couch and she sat next to me.

Derek POV
I had just finished a 6 hour awake Craniotomy and felt exhausted, I went into an on-call room to close my eyes for a little while before my patient woke up. About 20 minutes later I heard the door open and sat up, "Hey," Callie said. "Hi," I replied quietly. "How's Meredith doing?" She asked while climbing into the top bunk, "I don't really know she doesn't talk to me much anymore," I sighed. " well, one of her closest friends just died you'd expect some grief," she said sympathetically. "I just nodded my head a little, "Yeah..." I said while trying to fall back alseep.

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