My Universe

CHAPTER 26

I dawned the glass I already had in my hand and without thought flung it towards my mother who was quick to jump away, If I killed her I'd be doing the world an enormous favor believe me.

"Everything you did, you did in my favor?" ,
I asked now slowly pacing the room cause I was thinking about anything they did that was ever in my Favour.

"Alright let's see how much you did that was in "my favour"

"Where were you when I was rushed to the hospital because I couldn't get to my oxygen mask and tank on time and I ended up passing out.?

You were nowhere to be found."

"I remember when grandma called you from my bed side and begged you to come take care of me,
You told grandma and asked her to keep such informations away from you, And When you saw me a couple of weeks later you asked me to make sure grandma never called you for such matters anymore because you were too busy to pay attention to such vain things. All the while we both knew that the only thing you were busy doing was jumping from one island to the other given Meghan the best things of life and calling her talented when we know she never was"

" I wanted to do everything Meghan could do just so you could see me too,

But I was stupid because in your heart I was already dead."

"For crying out loud I was only a child, I had just been diagnosed for fucks sake, I never asked for anything of it,"

I screamed which somehow cause the tears to flow freely, remembering how grandma Louis struggled to keep up with me, and how they were busy announcing how talented Meghan never truly was

" I WANTED TO BE NORMAL MAMA "

Wth that my tears stopped and I stared weakly at the strangers I had considered parents and sibling before I continued

" My Breathing Pattern Disorder wasn't a death sentence mama, but all of you made sure that in your hearts and minds I was no longer in existence, your actions made me feel like I had a death sentence hanging over my head wherever I went and in whatever I did,

I waited everyday mama, I waited, because I thought that maybe, just maybe a fucking miracle would happen and you would walk through those doors and give me a damn hug,

But You never came, None of you ever came,

Where were you when I was called by some supposed health care group asking me to come over to them so they could provide a solution for my health situation and because I was so excited that finally I could be a daughter you could be proud of I went without informing anyone of my whereabouts,

Do you know what happened that day?

No you don't but I'll tell all of you,

I was raped multiple times by two men who held me down and ignored all my pleas to let me go, and when they couldn't handle my constant screams and thrashing I was stabbed in the thigh,

Where were you mama when I stayed in a motel for two fucking weeks been treated by a stranger who found me and nurtured me back to life,

Do you know that No amount of therapy could fix the damage that had been done to my body, my mind and my soul?,

Where were you when I went as far as becoming a model just to impress you even when everyone knew exactly how I felt about the spotlight,

I waited for you to tell me that it wasn't necessary,
For you to tell me that you saw me perfectly well and that I didn't need to do anything to prove myself worthy of your time,

You never did mama because in your sight I was worth nothing,

Where were you when I received all those academic awards all those years ago in hope that maybe you could see my efforts at been good at something at least,

Did you know I graduated top of my class at 19 with a degree in engineering?
I was the fucking best and it was all for YOU..

Eventually I decided to move away, hoping that maybe by the time I would get back you would have learnt to feel differently about me, but what did you do?

You all packaged me like a rag doll and sold me off to the available bidder, you gave me to a man who will never love me, and in your selfishness you dragged him along with your cruelty in the name of preserving heritage, if it were princess Meghan you would have done everything in your power to make sure she wasn't put in that situation,

Where were you all those years Mama?

Cause I searched every corner of the earth for an affection that could match yours but I never found it,

I toured 17 countries in the continents of this world mingling with everyone who seemed ready to show me even a slivel of affection but none could compare to what you could have given me,

I finally agreed to marry him in hopes that it would be finally enough for you but just like other times,

I WASN'T ENOUGH.

For what you have done today, I will never forgive you and rest assured that I will never forget,

I will take back everything you have taken from me and I will make sure that you will seek me but i will be so near yet too far to reach,

Then you will understand what it feels like to wish for something you will never have."

With that said I ran out of there and straight to the entrance,

I asked the valet to get me the car Jace had driven here and thankfully he didn't argue with me, the paparazzi were shamelessly taking pictures but I didn't care cause just this once I didn't mind dying actually.

Finally he brought the car and I jumped in and stepped on the gas ignoring Adrian's and Jaces pleas to get down from the car

I drove a given distance before I stopped and squeezed myself into the back seat where after a whole lot of struggles I was able to change into my sweat pants and hoody that I always left there in case of an emergency or a wardrobe malfunction,

After which I squeezed my way back to the front seat and drove off again, I had no clue where I was headed but I honestly didn't care, as long as I could get far away from those monsters It was absolutely fine by me.

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If you are at a bad place in your life right now, I hope you know that I love you and that I'm here for you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️