Ch. 57 I'm Still Me

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To anyone who is confused, this is an angst book! Which means that things are probably gonna get a lot worse before they get better. I will add some happy chapters here and there, and I do plan on giving this book a happy ending, it's just gonna take some time to get there. Just keep that in mind💜💜💜
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**Trigger Warning**

This chapters discusses topics such as child abuse, homophobic slurs, and minor panic attacks. If these topics trigger you in any way then please leave the page!

(This chapter is probably gonna be confusing, but it will become more clear in later chapters.)

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Previously on Clingy:

-Namjoon's POV-

Jimin-ah cut off our laughter by standing up abruptly, "I'm going back to bed. Tell Tae he's sleeping on the couch tonight."

Yoongi Hyung crosses his arms and stood in front of the stairs, blocking Jimin-ah from leaving, "What's been up with you lately?" Yoongi Hyung asked.

Jimin looked down and sighed, "Hyung..."

Yoongi Hyung shook his head, "Seriously Jimin-ah. One second you act like you hate Jungkook, the next you're crying for him. I honestly thought that maybe you were on Taehyungs side, since neither of you have backed out of the agreement. But now you're mad at him? I'm confused as to which side you're on here."

I nodded along with Yoongi Hyung, agreeing with what he was saying.

Jimin refused to look Yoongi Hyung in the eyes, "You don't understand, Hyung..."

Yoongi Hyung tried to get Jimin to look at him, but Jimin kept his eyes trained on the floor, "You're right, I don't understand. None of us do. That's why we need you to help us understand by talking to us, so that we can help with whatever's going on."

Jimin shook his head and his lower lip trembled, "That's the thing though... I can't tell you guys, because I don't understand it myself."

Before any of us could respond, Jimin was already on his way up the staircase.

We Continue...

-Jimin's POV-

"A-Appa- please... no more. It hurts." I cried out, cowering away from my father.

"Don't you dare call me that! I am not your father! There is no way I brought up a faggot like you!" He said before slamming his fist into my side.

"Appa please! It hurts!" Tears poured from my eyes.

He gave me a harsh kick in the back, "What did I just tell you?! Don't fucking call me that, faggot!"
With blurry eyes I looked up at him, baffled at the man before me.

My father was a calm, gentle, reasonable man.

I had never seen him like this, hell I don't think I'd ever even seem him even yell before.

I looked over at my eomma who was standing in the doorway.

I tried to get away from my father so I could get to her, but he caught my foot and dragged me back.

"What? You think she will give you any sympathy? Ha! You're even dumber than you look. Fucking faggot."

He brought his knee up and hit my chin, causing my head to jerk back and my teeth to tear at my lips.

Before I could react he grabbed a fistful of my hair and threw me into my bedroom wall, a thump sounding through the room as my head collided with it.

My father lifted his foot, to connect it with my face I'm assuming, but stopped when we heard, "Wait!"

Through swollen eyes and blurry vision, from both tears and exhaustion, I saw my eomma walking past my father, towards me.

She got down in front of me and cupped my cheeks in her hands.

"Jiminie, if you tell us that this is all a mistake then we can forget this ever happened." She said.

"W-what?"

"You heard me. Tell us you aren't really a faggot. That it was just a misunderstanding. Then we can all forget this happened." She said, a crazed smile visible on her face.

No, I will never be able to forget this.

"It wasn't a mistake.." I said quietly.

"What?"

"I-It wasn't a mistake." I said again, a little louder.

"What the fuck did you just say?" She said. It was the first time she had ever cursed at me.

"It wasn't a mistake! I-I'm gay!"
The room was eerily silent.

I just waited for them to say something.

I looked up at my eomma who hadn't moved a muscle.

"Eomma I'm sor-" I started to say but was cut off by her hand striking me across the face. Hard.

"Don't you call me that. You are not me son. Your are nothing to me. Nothing but faggot scum."

I was taken aback.

"N-No!! I'm not faggot scum! I may be gay but I'm still the person you raised me to be! Eomma, I'm s-still me!" I wailed.

"She's not your mother!"

The last thing I saw was my fathers foot coming towards my face.

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I shot up in my bed, breathing heavily.

I was sweating tons, so I kicked the blankets off of me and onto the floor.

God not that dream again... I don't want to be reminded of that night any more...

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I know this chapter is confusing, I'm sorry. It will make more sense later on so please bear with me until then 🥺

Thank you so much for reading!!!💜💜💜💜💜

Also, don't forget to take care of yourselves; go drink water, make sure you've eaten something today, etc...🥰

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