Paris and us

Chapter 9

When I woke up, I was alone on the bed. There was a note on the side table:

I have some works to do today, sorry we can't spend the day together.

L.

I suspected he was either a workaholic or he had to go back to his wife and children for the weekend.

I chose to believe that he was simply busy. Did he ever go to sleep? In any case, he was never in the bed when I woke up. On the other hand, should he be worried that leaving me alone in his our with all his antique paintings? He wouldn't think that I would take the Van Gogh painting home as a souvenir? Oh Louis, greed could make us do so many nasty things that were beyond imagination.

I took a shower and left the house intact. I did not want to go to the French prison for a painting. It was not worth it. I sent him a text to inform him about my departure, I closed the door with electronic lock behind me.

Paris on Saturday morning was calm and quiet, as most of the Parisians were still asleep after the crazy Friday night parties, or they just caught up with the sleep they lacked during the week. There were two types of people who were up : people who work on Saturday or Parents.

I sent Marianne a text to asked her if she would fancy some croissants delivery by me.

She replied: "YES!"

I took the metro and bought the croissants in a boulangerie near her home.

I sent her a text to tell her I was at her door. You can't ring the bell when there was a baby in the house. They were either going to fall asleep or soundly asleep. You would be committing the crime against humanity simply by ringing the bell and waking up the baby.

"Oh Delphine you are a god send angel!" Marianne whispered when she opened the door, "She is taking her nap now, we will have half an hour to eat the croissants if we are lucky."

I tiptoed to her living room and tried to avoid stepping on any of the squeaky toy with organic cotton or handmade wooden animals painted in non-toxic soya paint. It was a mine field, every wrong step could lead a catastrophe effect and wake up the sleeping monster, thus shortening our time to eat a croissant and drink a cup of coffee. I arrived safely to the dining table and took the seat, while Marianne prepared the coffee.

Marianne's husband was at work this morning. He was a doctor in the emergency room in the hospital. Only two highly paid professionals like them could afford a three-bedroom apartment in Paris. Most of us lived in a 300 square feet studio if we were lucky. Some could only afford a 100 square feet bedroom.

I decided to come to give her some company and comfort. We were both abandoned by our working male partners. Solidarité!

"You didn't go home last night!" She was staring at my outfit.

I sipped my coffee. "How was the baby today?"

"She slept, woke up, cried, drank some milk, pooped and slept again. You know, life was simple and complicated at the same time for a baby."

"How was last night?"

"I had fun. I could have an adult conversation with real people without interruption of a crying baby. And I heard some gossips."

"What? What? Tell me!"

"Apparently the young Aurélien Portier wanted to enter the board of directors, but Charles disagreed, saying that he is inexperienced."

"I see."

"You talked to Aurélien last night, he didn't mention it?"

"No, why would he mention his big plan to a small potato?"

"Well, you two seemed to have a serious conversation. After you left he was in a bad mood. He barely smiled for the rest of the night." Marianne recalled.

"We discussed and analyzed the painting. We didn't talk about anything of great importance."

"Right. So why were you here? Shouldn't you be staying at your lover's bed and eating breakfast?"

"He left for work already when I woke up. He just left me a note."

"Oh....that's uh.....I don't know. I guess he is in a job position which has tons of work to finish."

I understood that. I was not 18 years old and still fantasizes about the morning cuddles with my man, especially not with a busy man like him.

"Anyway, I thought you might need some croissants this morning. Do u want me to do the grocery for you?"

"You are so sweet. I ordered grocery online these days. I simply have no time for that. Taking a baby to do my grocery shopping will be as complicated as planning an after party."

"When did the baby wake up this morning?" I asked.

"Well, first at 3 am, then at 6 am. She was awake until 10am," she sighed.

"I am here, why don't you go to take a shower. I will take care of her if she wakes up," I suggested.

"Oh, that will be great!" She quickly ran to the bathroom.

I looked around Marianne's apartment, little blanket and stuff toys were scattered on the sofa and on the floor. There were also a baby high chair, a bouncer, a swing , and a play yard in the room. How many chairs did a little baby need, really? Dirty dishes and milk bottles piled up in the kitchen sink, she had no time to unload the dish washer. On the dining table there were still a bowl of unfinished coffee and half eaten baguette from this morning. It is 10:30 am, Marianne was still in her pyjamas, her hair was in 'just out of bed' look unintentionally. There was a spit from the baby on her shoulder. Once upon a time, Marianna was the tidiest person I knew. Her tidy home were decorated with all the fancy designer furniture. She was always clean and fresh in her elegant clothes. Now she simply had no time to take care of herself and her home.

Is that what motherhood was about? A little human being arrived to put chaos in your orderly perfect life. In order to take care of the baby, you no longer have your personal free time and your sleep. It sucked up all your energy and strength so much that you were simply give up yourself, even your personal hygiene. How much do we have to sacrifice for this little us? How much is too much? And this is just the beginning of your sacrifices. They said 'little children little problems, big children big problems'. Once you are a parent, this nightmare will never leave you, it will only get worse.

No wonder my mother abandoned me when I was five and ran back to France. I did not have many memories of her. We occasionally spent Christmas or two weeks in the summer together in France, that was all. Even if we live in the same country now, we seldom see each other. We were like two strangers bonded by blood, and she was the egg donor. Whenever she saw me, right after the "Hello! How are you?", she would start to criticize my body (I was never thin enough), my clothes (they were not classy enough), my hair (it was not glossy enough), my makeup (it was not enough) or anything on me. I was never good enough for her. I was not the perfect daughter she had in her mind. She was remarried, but she did not have any more children afterwards. I was probably the only regrettable mistake she made in her life, and she would not make the same mistake twice.

The crying of the baby broke my thoughts. I quickly went to her room to see her. She stopped crying immediately and gave me a smile. The sweetest smile I saw in a human being. I picked her up and held her, she leaned her head on my shoulders. Her hand was grabbing my hair like a little monkey. This warm feeling melt my heart.

Maybe all the mothers sacrifice themselves just to get this fuzzy feeling. That smile, that gently clinging on you, like you are the most important person in her world. She needed you.

Marianne went out of the bathroom. She was in some clean clothes and her hair was clean and blew dried. She was reborn again.

"Awww, my little bunny, did I wake you up?" Marianne talked in her baby voice and opened her arms, "Here, let mummy hold you. Thank you Aunty Delphine again!"

I handed over the baby. My one minute babysitting duty had already fulfilled.

"Well, I will leave you two alone. See you on Monday?" I said.

"Thanks again for dropping by. You have no idea how grateful I am," she smiled.

"Any time, my friend."